Chapter 16 Emotional Sunset

Clare: I went back to my room, where Dani was already there. As usual, she is wearing an oversized t-shirt and shorts to relax during the afternoon break. When she saw me coming inside, she asked " how was your lunch date?" "That wasn't a date," I said smiling - I saw you two. I didn't expect he will bring you out of his room and have lunch in a public dining hall. - neither did I. It was so unusual for me. - what did you eat? Your favourite turkey? He definitely feeds you the most expensive food available? - No, he is vegan. I didn't ask for any non-veg dish. - So, how was it? Sharing someone else's food habit? - it was less of lunch and more of a vegan session - Is he any professor? - he is much aware of it. I don't know why - you didn't care to ask? - I did but before answering the topic Changed - what else? - In the morning we watched a movie. - which one? - the quiet place 2. He asked the theatre to play it - girl you are having your best journey. I am so happy to hear - It is really amazing - now tell me more She pulled me to her bed and wanted to hear more of my story what else happened. I changed myself to a loose dress and sat beside her to tell her everything happened since morning. After some time I felt sleepy and we both kept lying on the same bed I had no energy to get back to my bed. I woke up around 4:30 when I saw outside the sun is about to set. I thought of taking Michael to the dark and let him enjoy the sunset in the middle of the sea. So I got up early from bed and started changing to my uniform. "Where are you rushing?" Dani asked "To see the sunset" I replied buttoning my shirt "You see that almost every day on the ship" "I'm thinking of taking Michael out, so he can also enjoy the amazing sunset" "You are doing more than what you are here to do," she said yawning "Right now I am doing very less than what I usually do" "Go show your man your favourite sunset" "Not my man," I said and left the room. When I came in front of Michael's door, I found it already open. Still, I cared to knock. He came and pulled the door half-naked "I kept it open for you so that you can clearly understand and come in without knocking" "I thought of coming in but then I have some manners, we staffs can't just get into any passenger's room without their permission" I said stepping in - So let me make it clear you can come inside when the door is open, I will never complain he said putting on a t-shirt - I understand - what's the plan for the evening? - We should rush, I want to show you the sunset from the middle of the sea. - oh, then I think we really have to rush. It's almost evening. He hurriedly got ready, combed his hair and we rushed out of the room. I took him to the front of the ship, we both stood near a railing keeping our elbows on it. The sun is still about to set, we both kept staring at the orange ball of fire until it drowned in the sea. Even after the sunset, there was still some light in the sky. Michael spoke - it was beautiful. To watch the sun drowning in the sea. - whenever I am on the ship, I watch the sunset. According to me, this is the best place to watch a sunset. - thank you for bringing me here - anytime We kept silent for some time. when it became completely dark, lights on the ship lighted. Michael left the railing and wrapped my waist from behind. I again started acting abnormally. I started moving. I was too uncomfortable to be intimate in public. I said, " I think we should keep these for room" "What's the issue here? I'm not having any problem touching you in front of everyone" He said tightening his grip on my waist. I wanted to escape from here, so I asked him about his favourite topic. - during lunch I asked you something you haven't replied that yet - what was it? - what made you vegan? I felt his grip losing from my waist. It's working. Then he left me, stood in front of me. - Actually, it's been a few years when I faced an incident which made me change my view of looking towards the world. - tell me - I used to love beacon. One day one of my friends invited me and some other friends to his newly opened restaurant where only fresh food was served. So if we order any non-veg food, the animals were kept alive till then. After we order anything, they were killed to serve. That day too I ordered my favourite beacon dish and my friend wanted to show me around. So, I went with him. We were looking at everything when we entered the kitchen. The place was clean but then I noticed a bloody corner in the kitchen. That corner interested me and I started walking to work that corner. There were blood, knives, and boiling water everywhere. Then a guy came in front of me with a little pig. He forcefully kept that pig on the table. Something was running inside my veins, I became too weak to watch that pig get killed. I wanted to stop him but I also wanted to eat beacon. "Stand at a distance sir," the guy said and I stepped one step back. The pig was struggling to get out of there. That creature didn't wanted to die or didn't wanted to be killed. Then suddenly I saw that guy run his big knife on the pig's throat. It started to scream loudly. Blood came out in huge quantities. Some of the blood came and got stuck on my dress and some on my face. I was traumatized to see that. I was almost getting fainted. I heard someone from behind said "hey, can't you do it slowly? That pig died too fast, the scream didn't last long" I was getting weak. I was not able to speak. My friend saw me and scolded the guy cutting the pig into pieces, " you ruined my friend's dress, I will fire you" and then he pulled me out of the kitchen, took me to the bathroom, and washed my face. I was still not in my sense. The pig's scream was still in my ears, its blood was still on my face. I couldn't say anything to anyone. After washing my face my friend took me to a table. Then a man came and served us our food, there was my favorite beacon. I was about to vomit. I became sick. I was not able to see the back and I was watching the pig scream, I was watching an innocent creature crying to live. That day I didn't eat anything I came back home hungry. I was not able to sleep that day. I never ordered bacon after that day. I wanted to turn vegetarian. After a few months, I did. Then I came to know about veganism. How cows and buffaloes are tortured for their milk. How badly animals are killed for their skin and coats. I was not able to accept the fact I was contributing to it. That year I visited every farm I could so that I can see their suffering from my own eyes so that I can feel them so that I don't forget why I committed not touching any non-veg again. I did research I visited farms and use myself to see the suffering. I even got traumatized for months. But since I committed already I was not thinking of looking back. I am vegan because of animals. I am not strong enough to see their suffering from my own eyes and contribute to those. I was weak to buy any leather items after watching how bad it is for animals. I never visited any zoo again. I felt myself in their place, In prison, away from all desires, away from natural habitat, away from nature. Just to entertain humans. I saw a small number of tears rolling down from his eyes. I couldn't feel what he was thinking but I was feeling so bad to hear all about his trauma. He must have been very hurt to see an animal killed in front of his eyes. We kept quiet. No one said anything for Sometimes. Then I hugged him without thinking twice. He rubbed his tears on my shirt. "It's okay," I said I didn't wanted to leave him. I wanted to stay holding him. I wanted to keep him in my arms. I was feeling something different. Sometime just hugging can also feel beautiful. The moment is so calm and beautiful. I always wanted someone two just hold on. Yes, I had Dani since I came here, but with a man everything, even a simple hug is so different and better.