Chapter 18 : Cracks

I remembered the flat above the club. Even with the haze of alcohol and lust blazing hot through my body, I remembered it with startling detail. It came back to me as I took it all in. The wine-colored sheets. How the hard floor felt under my feet. Not incredibly large, but it told me more about Asmodeus than anything else ever could. The flat lacked a kitchen, but I suppose they didn't need to eat anyways. Bookcases packed with old books. Artwork adorning the walls. Different than I expected. He seemed to favor greenery by the plants hanging in the window. Still a mystery, but pieces were starting to fit together again. Who Asmodeus was. How he ticked. The energy was rampant between us. I could feel how his body thrummed, wanting desperately to touch me and feed himself. But he wouldn't. Not now. There was something he needed to say. I ached for him. Wanting to take as much as I give, but not before I know what he wants. Not until he tells me how bad he wants me. "You know, Lilith told me you didn't have an upstairs. I felt like I had lost my mind," I mused. "Lilith is protective of her kin. She told me she had seen you, alive and walking. Seb had no idea who you were so I thought she was playing an elaborate joke." "Has that ever happened before?" He folded his arms over his chest, keeping himself at a distance. Afraid of closing the gap so soon. "It's not unheard of for a mortal to survive a single feeding. Unusual, but I'll let it go." "They wouldn't come back?" I asked. "No. If they did come back it was always by accident. They wouldn't ask around for me. The thrall affects memory, so it would only feel like a bad hangover and a vivid dream." I hummed, "Breaking the thrall means restoring the memories you stole." "Yes, easier to revoke someone you can remember," he explained. "Only broken by a kiss." Turning, I noticed a desk pushed out of the way, littered with paintbrushes of various sizes and sealed paint canisters. I didn't remember that. Leaving Asmodeus behind me, I stepped toward it, onto the crinkling tarp protecting the hard floor. I traced the sharp lines with my eyes. Noticing it was still wet. Sunlight broke through a thick green canopy, littering sunlight among a forest floor. Highlighting char on the earth, as if once upon a time, the forest had burned. A patch of missing grass along the roots of an ancient tree. The focal point was a deeply scarred tree. Cracking bark as if it too had burned. Like it had been used up, growing again after being mutilated. Beautiful in a different way. Unlike the other trees, this one would be standing long after the rest of the forest had fallen. A myriad of colors deepened the scenery. Shadows and light. The strokes were purposeful, different than anything I had ever seen. Whoever painted this saw the world differently than I did, and could easily reflect that view in paint. As if it had taken centuries to hone such a craft. "Sarah delivered my message," Asmodeus said softly, taking me in. Watching how I admired the artwork with a gleam of pride in his eyes. "She did. Pretty loud message. Cutting a man's dick off and splattering him across his office." I could feel the smugness in his gaze against my back. He was proud of what he had done. With a chuckle, he added, "My favorite thing about Hell was torturing rapists. Screams the sweetest music." I tried not to react. "You created quite the stir. The news might stop covering me for a few days." "If it makes you feel any better, I enjoyed every moment of it," he recalled before his tone deepened, darkness seeping in. Veiled violence I thirsted to see firsthand. "When I felt the lust pouring off of him. The vile things he wanted to do to you. To helpless women. Girls." Then he laughed. "If only I could tear him apart again and again. So much pride in that soul…I know Lucifer will have fun flaying every strip of skin from him." Every syllable hung from his tongue. A promise. I combed my hair behind my ears, trying to push down how much I enjoyed the image he gave me. "I thought you didn't bother with mortal problems." "I didn't," he stated firmly. "Then what changed your mind?" He was quiet for a moment, but I still didn't look around at him. The moment I did, I knew I'd crumble. It was unavoidable, but I would afford to wait. Asmodeus was worth waiting for, just as he knew I was. "When I saw the bruise on your wrist, I tried to ignore it. But I couldn't," he admitted. I could hear his teeth clench together. "He put his hands on you. He had to die. The rest was flourish…fun. He signed his own death warrant when he touched something that was mine." A pang of desire shot through me as I finally looked back at him. "Yours?" Our eyes met and my knees wobbled. "Yes," he said firmly. "Mine." I liked the idea of his possession over me. Wanting me with a ferocity. I fought the violent kick in my pulse. The ache pulling at my insides. My mouth felt dry and silence fell over us again as I turned my attention back to the painting. Desire churned in my belly, coiling like a snake, ready to devour me whole. Pushing it back, I fought the urge to tear my clothes off and let him use me however he pleased. But that's not what this should be. I let Deacon use me because I felt like that would make him want me. I never wanted sex, I only did it because he wanted it. But he wasn't worth it. Deacon didn't deserve to get let into my body. It should have been a gift. Asmodeus and I wouldn't be something as simple as laying there and letting him take what he wanted. I would get my fill. He would be mine as much as I was his. But it wasn't going to be easy. To have me again, he would have to work for it. "My favorite thing about earth is art. Books. Music. Culture unattainable in my realm," Asmodeus broke the silence, stealing me from my thoughts, unabashedly taking me in. "I've taken a liking to paint." "Really?" I asked, a pleasant surprise coating my tongue. "You're a painter?" I could hear the smile in his voice when he replied, "Why so surprised?" "You didn't strike me as someone who cared about art." "Art is an interpretation of the world, emotions, even the imagination. Unique to mankind. How could I not be when there is so much beauty in this world?" He paused, taking a deep breath before saying, "My brothers forget what makes humankind so special." His words sounded genuine. A passion I hadn't heard from him before. "What about the tree? Are they special to you too?" He was quiet before he answered me. So softly that I almost didn't hear him. "This tree is you, Adira." I turned around completely, the tarp making a noise under my feet. "What? How?" His gaze weakened me. My resolve crumbled around me as he hummed deep in his chest. He leaned back, his long frame trying to appear at ease, but I could see how wound up he was inside. "This tree overcame fire, still alive enough to recover from the char. Sprouting seedlings from deep in its cracks. Even as pieces of it are severed, it comes back, warped. A product of its environment." Rubbing a circle on my wrist, I tried to fight the way my belly coiled. Warmth eating up the ice I had surrounded myself with. "Instead of getting eaten up like the others, it adapts. Warps itself to survive. Resilient." He grinned. "Spitefully so. Refusing to let itself get used up. Fighting the rot. Never caving. Strength corded in every fiber of its thick roots. Fucking fascinating," his breaths deepened with every word. Voice deepening every syllable. Shivers assaulted me, my back arching helplessly toward the tenor in his voice. "I lied to you." "You'll have to be more specific. You've lied to me a few times," I replied. The corner of his mouth pulled upwards. "I've missed you, Adira." My heart leaped right into my throat. Not at the words themselves, but the conviction in them. This wasn't part of a game. It was unbridled honestly. Across the room, he felt too far away. My skin felt too tight as if my soul fought to separate itself to feel him. "What changed your mind? I thought you said this was over." I crossed my arms. "I did my part and stayed away. Why couldn't you?" He laughed sharply, standing up from the bed. "Staying away from you was impossible. Every night I tried to visit your dreams, but I could never find you. I wanted you and I couldn't find you." Part of me loved that. The other part was irritated he ordered me to stay away to suffer alone on the streets, evading capture, but lacked the self-control to stay away himself. Selfish. He only wanted me for one thing. He had said it himself. I narrowed my eyes in a challenge. "Do you just want me to feed you, Asmodeus?" I asked, rolling his name off my tongue. He visibly shuddered. "Then turn around and tell me you don't want me? Send me on my way knowing I still want you?" His eyes blazed with heat I knew was there under his human skin. "That was a mistake. I crave you, Adira. I want to have you. Own you. Possess you. I want to set the world on fire for you. And watch it burn with you." Wetness gathered between my legs. Lust smoldered in my chest. I could feel him everywhere with just his words. A coy smile pulled at the corner of my mouth. "Keep talking like that and I'll be well on my way to forgiving you." Both dimples formed on his face. "Imagine it, Adira. All the power we could give each other. Splattering a pathetic man would only be the beginning. Give me a list and I'll rid the world of every person who's wronged you. One after another." "It's a long list," I replied. I started to close the gap between us, excitement sparking in the air. Desire thickening my breath. "It would be much easier to choose another pet." A groan bubbled up from his throat. "You don't understand. Nothing else satisfies me. Only you." "Only me?" I echoed, pleasure feathering out from my belly. His smile fell, intensity in his eyes as he started to meet me halfway. "Only you. You're something else." His nose flared, inhaling me in. "I need to have you." "You realize you're putting me in danger," I mentioned, tilting my head to the side. I couldn't care less about the danger, not when I ached like this. But it was something that hung in the air. A question I needed answered. We could barely stay apart anymore. There was an invisible vise tightening around me, forcefully pulling us together. And both of us were helpless against it. For so long, it seemed like Asmodeus had the control. That he could puppet me into doing anything he wanted, but the way he looked at me…he couldn't stop it any more than I could. Every part of my body hungered for him. "You're in more danger apart from me," he growled, both of his hands stroking up my arms. He pulled me forward with him as he sat on the edge of the bed, guiding me forward to straddle his lap. "But I have a feeling you like danger. Don't you?" My breath hitched when his mouth brushed my throat, laving it generously with his tongue. "This doesn't solve my problems, Asmodeus." He whined against my throat at the sound of his name, instantly falling slack like a trained puppy. "Your problems are nothing," he replied, voice teetering on a snarl. My fingers wove through his hair, gently caressing his scalp before gripping his hair and lurching his head upwards. He bared his teeth at me, furious with how his body reacted, but unable to stop it. It pleased me greatly. At that moment, I knew full and well I'd win. But it's amicable to watch him grapple with me. Releasing my grasp on his hair, I cupped the side of his face, stroking his jaw. With almost invisibly fast reflexes, he snatched my hips with both hands, flipping me onto my back and into the sheet. A moan broke from my throat. He pinned my arms over my head, glaring down at me. Raw passion burned in his eyes. "I will give you everything. Name your price and be my Queen, Adira." He nipped my throat with sharp teeth, humbling me with the knowledge I was only alive because he decided it. "Make everything go away. Make me disappear," I requested breathily around the delightful sensation of his mouth. He made an inhuman noise, his chest vibrated with pure hunger. "Done." "And…"I said as his mouth began to lower down the cords of my neck. "What else?" "Tell me why your brothers are seeking revenge." He leaned back onto his arms. His eyes were warm, full of affection. Something I rarely associated with him, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it. Exhaustion was clear in the lines on his face. "There's something you need to do for me first." "And what's that?" I asked, breath puffing against his lips. My mouth watered, wanting his taste. "Feed me, pet." I grinned, my body lighting up with desire. "Only after I taste you."