Chapter 19 13: Your Eyes Are Beautiful

She didn t know if he had noticed the tone he used to speak to her, how soft it had sounded when he met her in the bedroom as though she was that Doctor he seemed too familiar with, and somehow, it had cajoled her a bit. And when he asked her to eat her food while Bilkisu made her bed, she questioned if she could watch the TV. Na im approved as he slumped on the other sofa and while she ate, Maryam focused her eyes on the TV as she watched a cartoon. She knew they had once went to the cinema they had in Magumeri with Intisar, 'gidan kallo as everyone called and the TV there wasn t even the quarter of this one per size and to see everything as clearly as she was now and the sound so prominent, she knew everything must ve been expensive. She was relaxed, she thought, knowing so well that she wasn t going to stay alone with that girl he had brought to her. She slowly turned to him, she was afraid to ask but she would do that, nevertheless. Because, she had realized that her fear for being alone with the girl was far much than her fear for speaking with him. "Is she going to leave?" She asked softly, her voice wavering a bit. And Na im was so flabbergasted that today, she had asked him something without him prompting her to that he had to take sometime to take in everything. He stared at her for a few seconds before he shook his head, "No, she s going to be living with you here. She s your friend." Maryam shook her head to let him know that she had no friend and she had given up in that aspect of life. She wasn t destined to have friends, Intisar was. People were afraid of her, they always run away whenever she looked at them and they say she had the eyes of a witch. Sometimes, on days she still used to go to school and islamiyya, her classmates had often beat her and told her that she should stop staring at them unless she wanted them to kill her because if they didn t kill her first, she will do that to them. The bullying was too much that Baaba got tired of reporting everything and everyday, more kids were getting scared of her that both schools decided to expel Maryam from their environs. "She s not my friend." She argued and looked away from him, the sting of what had been in her life still there afresh that she didn t think she was ever going to let go of it. It was now that she had thought of everything that she wondered if he had once seen her eyes, everyone got scared of her if they did. That was why she tried her best not to look at that Doctor, lest she scared her like she did to everyone in their village. And now, she tried to test him and see, she knew he was going to get scared too. Even though, she agreed, seeing him a bit scared will be fun to watch. So, she looked up at him just the moment Na im had his eyes fixed on her to make sure what he was seeing on her lips was indeed a pout and nothing else. And their eyes met, Maryam was focused enough to see the way his brows furrowed together and the slight move of his eyes. But he didn't seem intimidated like everyone else. Na im held her gaze, for some reason today he wanted to stare into her eyes. He wanted to feel him immersed into those universes that constantly mesmerized him, yet unnerved his soul. But today, he decided that he ll try to figure them out once at a time. So, he chose to wander in the greenery of her orbs, the forest that seemed too green yet when he looked deeper into it, it was darker than he had ever imagined. Her eyes held a shroud of darkness, of pain that had been there long enough for her to know how to deal with everything. "Your eyes, have they always looked this way?" He didn't know when the question came out of him, but it did. And she seemed to be taken aback by his question as if she wasn t even expecting him to see the color of her eyes and still be alive. Was there some curse surrounding her that she seemed to be relieved he wasn't scared? Maryam took her eyes off him before she nodded her head and fixed them on the TV. The people in the TV will never be scared of her eyes, they won t even notice them, she thought as she decided to not look at him again. She knew he was still waiting for her reply, for she could still feel his gaze on her and no matter how badly she wanted to ignore him and act like she didn't hear him, she knew of that night well enough not to try that. So, as softly as she could, Maryam replied him. "I was born like this. Mama and Baaba always said they re beautiful, Intisar too, but I know they re all lying to me to make me feel better. Everyone hates me because of them, they say I'm a witch." Her voice clogged at the end and Na im watched as she wiped at a lone tear that successfully rolled down to her cheeks. He didn t mean to do it, but he went back to the sofa she sat down and slide in next to her. He watched the way she got stiff for a moment before she shifted a bit and then relaxed. Like Nafisa said, he was going to make sure that she got comfortable with him, since he had already seen how being soft and comforting to her would make her open up to him. Who would ve thought that she would speak this long to him? "Look here," he called out, and she dropped the plate on the table beside her before she turned, moving a bit away from him. "Your eyes are beautiful." He said, and not until he voiced the words out did he realize how much truth was in his words. They were indeed beautiful and gracefully created. She should be thankful to Allah for creating her this way rather than the cruel notion of her eyes that people had forced into her brain. It didn't matter that her eyes unnerved him, he knew it was because he had never seen someone with the same colors of her eyes but that also didn t change the fact that they were beautiful indeed. She smiled slowly before she looked away, shaking her head bit. And he understood that to be that she was used to her family saying that they were beautiful only because they wanted to calm her down and not because Maryam had once believed their words. "Look up, I have to show you something." He wanted to at least make her believe them, to start to trust and have confidence in herself. Na im pulled his phone out and when she looked up, he got into his camera and snapped a picture of her, glad that she had her eyes fixed on the phone even though from her expression, he knew she was curious about what he was going to do with that. He pulled the phone and stayed rooted to his spot, "Come and see it, I took a picture of you." He wanted to test whether her body had started to trust him. Just like her mind did, to be at ease when he was around, Na im wanted her brain to do the same and order her body to relax as well. At first, he thought she wasn t going to come over but she surprised him by shifting closer to him a bit and he smiled softly before he held the phone between them, close enough for her to see and for him to have the vision he wanted to explain her to. Her eyes widened when she saw herself through his screen and she looked up at him with an expression that said, 'Was that me? Na im couldn't help but chuckle as he nodded his head at her question, even though unvoiced. "This is you, and just take a look at your eyes." He zoomed right onto her eyes and watched as she earnestly stared deep into her eyes for the first time. She had always believed that they were ugly, that was why she hardly looked into the mirror yet when she did, Maryam always made sure she avoided her eyes. Because the last thing she wanted was for her to start being terrified of herself. "Beautiful, right?" He questioned softly, and she looked up at him with the beginning of a smile. She pointed at her blue eye and smiled at him, "I like this more, only if they both were the same as it." She flicked those eyes to his face and Na im felt something stuck into his soul. She was always innocent with her opinions, always naive with her choice of words. Even though sometimes she seemed dull to understand a lot of things, she was quick at some things and when she wanted to speak, she tried to be honest. He hated the rain and so he hated everything that was water-like, and so he shook his head at that. He liked her green eye more, loved it even. Because if he got lost in that forest, he was assured there would be lots of adventures waiting for him. What about the ocean? All he could do was drown and die, that s all. "I like the green one more, it s depicts calmness, safety and something more I'm yet to decipher. But I'll tell you when I do. " She seemed pleased by his words that even after she had shifted back to her initial position, Na im noticed her body relaxing under his intense gaze. "So, that s why Mama, Baaba and Intisar...is she your sister?" She managed to nod her head even though she had already decided that she wasn t going to speak to him about Intisar in her life. Maybe Intisar was still alive somewhere and not knowing that she was related to her might even be safer for both of them. She didn t want to make a mistake they both were going to suffer from, so she kept mum. "Okay, that s why your family weren t lying when they said your eyes were beautiful, because they are. You should even thank Allah that he created them for you, because they re magnificent." Having Intisar s thought crossed her mind spoilt all that they had built together around her for the night, she resorted back to only nodding her head before she had her eyes fixed on the TV, acting as though he weren t there.