  Michael: After having my tea I came out of my room. I didn't want to stay in my room. I needed some fresh air. I walked straight to the topmost deck and stood by a railing. Not many people were present on the deck in the morning. Cold breezes are touching my face. There is much silence up here, not any chaos, no rush for anything. I can see people meditating, standing in silence without doing anything or doing yoga. People are most disciplined in the morning. There's no sound other than the roar of the sea. Only the water has its loud voice. Which is pleasant, which is smoothing, which is peaceful. I was getting so calm, I couldn't realize. As far as I see, I nothing else than water, blue sea. This nature has so much power to heal Your mental health. I think people should come to the sea often. I had no anger from last night, I got calmed down. Everything feels so peaceful right now. S

  Clare: I just can't believe I put such an allegation on him without even trying to investigate the truth. I am so ashamed of myself that I didn't even try to hear from him. Me getting angry at the way he reacted was justified but the way I thought so many things about him is so shameful. How can I think so bad about him you never give me any chance to complain. I'm feeling so low. He is holding me tightly I couldn't hold myself and I cried a little on his shoulders. I don't need anyone to make me sick or to make me ill, I can break my heart myself. I'm such a dumbass. Anna might had some back problems cleaning the glasses and that might made her scratch her back, but I am such an asshole to make up a story from nowhere.
  &quot;I'm sorry&quot; I repeated again with a crying throat.
  &quot;It's okay, you thought from your side. I won't understand what you saw and how you felt&quot; he 

  Clare: Ohh shit, this man is so fucked up. I just started having some good thoughts about him,  when he fucked everything, he changed my mind. All thanks to him. he showed his true colours. People can have issues with some specific thing. You can't misbehave with anyone if they doesn't agree. Fuck him. These Men are Assholes. These men can't think of anything else than fucking.
  I walked back to my floor when there were no one else. I'm the only one who came back to her room this soon. After all my service is completed. From tomorrow I might have to get back to my regular work. Within now I think he already kept someone else instead of me or atleast removed me from his service. I don't fucking care. I got privileged for 2 days, and now it's over. 
  I started reading my book that was lying on my bed when I left it for the last time. I should keep myself busy and not think about him. I started reading every lines of the chapter more than once to ignore that Asshole
  After few hours Dani entered after finishing all her works. I greeted her.
  - Hey, welcome back
  - Hello, what are you doing here? I thought you will be having dinner with him
  - I came to have dinner with you
  - I didn't expected we will eat together anymore in this journey
  - you are my Darling Dani. Let's have dinner together.
  - let's go
  - finally after some days I can eat some non veg dish
  - come on
  We both went to staff's dining hall and fortunately we received some leftover food made for the passengers and we pjicked our favourite turkey dish. When we sat on the table to eat, Dani started eating. I started taking some buites when I found it hard to chew and swallow the food. Each and every Michael's words were again ringing In my ears, the way he described the blood, the scream I found it hard to eat my food. His words were making so weak to for me to eat. I tried again. But I failed. Dani was eating beside me, she noticed me.
  &quot;What's wrong with you?why ain't you eating?&quot; She asked
  &quot;I am not hungry&quot; I replied
  &quot;What's this nonsense? You came here to eat with me, and now you are not hungry&quot; she looked at me suspiciously. Now how can I tell her a stranger's story is making me difficult to eat my favourite turkey dish.
  &quot;I'm sitting here, once you finish we can leave together&quot;
  &quot;What he feed you?&quot; She asked rolling her eyes
  &quot;A cup of tea&quot;
  &quot;You will die of malnutrition girl&quot;
  I said nothing and kept staring at my plate, at the meat of the turkey which might also have screamed for its life.
  After coming back to the room I tried not to think about him. I was still hungry. But I didn't wanted to eat anything. 
  As usual I woke up at 5:30 a.m. and pulled out Dani out of her sleep. &quot;Good morning&quot; she said in her sleepy eyes
  &quot;Good morning&quot; I replied
  She yawned a little and observed me quitely. &quot;What's wrong with you?&quot; She asked after few minutes.
  &quot;What?&quot;
  &quot;You don't look the same as the previous day, yesterday you were so excited in the morning&quot;
  &quot;I didn't realised. Maybe last morning was more energetic&quot;
  &quot;Are you hiding something from me?&quot;
  &quot;No, I couldn't. Don't try to think so deep&quot;
  &quot;Fine, let's get to work&quot;
  I took some time to think where to go. Shall I  go to Michael's room to check on him or shall I go back to my regular work in the kitchen thinking he already removed me from his service?
  I kept on walking on the corridor here and there before I finally decided to knock at Michael's room at first. I can make fun of my self respect going to his room and then hear he already removed me from his service than going back to the kitchen and being the centre of comedy in the whole area. Loosing self respect in front One person is better than a whole room. But still in the sake of self respect in front of one different person I went to the kitchen. And asked Alex who was sitting near the telephone. &quot;Did the passenger in the room 109 ordered his tea yet?&quot;
  &quot;Yes Anna came and went to deliver his tea, quite a long time ago. Where were you last night? I had to send someone else instead of you to send his dinner&quot; Alex said to me.
  &quot;He didn't said anything about me? I asked
  &quot;He said he want someone else to deliver his dinner so you have some issues&quot; he replied
  &quot;I was not well yesterday, so I informed him already after delivering his snacks, so that he can ask for someone else to deliver his dinner. He didn't mind&quot; I made up an excuse, since Michael didn't complained about me.
  &quot;Ohh , so he thought you may not be well this morning, so he wanted Anna and I send her instead of you&quot; 
  &quot;OK I will check on him and inform that I am alright&quot;
  &quot;Yes, go&quot;
   So finally I stood in front of his room and knocked his door. No answer. I rang again without uttering any word. Then after sometime the door opened and I saw Annastanding in front of me and smiling. Alex said she came here a long ago so why she is still there?
   &quot;Hello Clare&quot; she said scratching her back.
  &quot;Hi, what are you doing here?&quot; I asked her without taking any time.
  &quot;To do the job you left unfinished&quot; she said folding her hands. I try to look in to the room, to find Michael. I couldn't find him. Then I heard some water splashing sound from the bathroom. He might be in the shower.
  &quot;I didn't get you&quot; I asked to get clearance
  &quot;The work you had to do, but you left before doing. So I had to take your place and finish it. Sadly I'm not getting paid extra&quot; she said and it came out of the door taking a black disposal bag. I wondered What's in it. But I decided to ask. &quot;What's in it?&quot; Pointing on the bag.
  &quot;Reward of your unfinished job&quot; she said to me looking at my eyes and left the room.
  I just cant believe it since I said no to one position last night, he picked someone else for it this morning. Within the interval of less than 10 hours. I can still hear the sound from the shower and I left the place. I went back to my room and collapsed in my bed. Burying my face on the pillow. I was so broken and left alone I didn't wanted to go back to my room. How can I be so easy to pick and leave? I never had much respect around me, but whatever it was in little amount he fucked it all. I can't believe this. I'm so ashamed of myself that I fell for someone who used me as a toy when he was alone, lonely, upset or horny. He made me feel like a whore who can only satisfy someone until he wants something she can't give. Now I feel like he replaced me just like people changes their condom after one use. I started having so feelings for him when he replaced me. Now Anna that that attention seeker is getting what I got under him. They might have stayed together last night. They might did everything which we did yesterday, or even more. He might woke up today beside her, or he did woke up. She might gave him everything I couldn't give him. It's so disrespectful for me. But did he ever thought of me while he was getting laid with Anna? Did I ever cross his mind? How can he? I am so silly to think about this. He is a billionaire with millions of girls around him. He can sleep with different girls on different night. It might didn't take any minute to replace me with Anna. It can be so easy for him. I'm the fool here. He had his clear intentions to fuck me since that day but I still did so many other things than just fucking. He just wanted me to get laid. And I wanted to spend more quality time with him. Now I look like a whore. I kept wondering what he and Anna did together, I don't care for the sake of my self respect but I am curious. That attention seeking bitch stayed under him last night, felt what I felt and probably left with the diamond bracelet he was going to give me. I'm jealous of someone I have been working with like for years and for the person I meet 2 days ago. I'm acting like a shit. How can I be so easy to fuck and leave? I have always been so easy to fuck and leave. Did he thought of me once while fucking her? If he did, then it is also possible that he thought of other girls while fucking me. 
  It's been years since I buried my face in my pillow and I thought so many things at once. I didn't just made me feel different while touching me even he is making me be different while he is away from me, most probably moving his hands on someone else. Fuck, these men are Assholes. All men are fucking assholes.

Michael: After having my tea I came out of my room. I didn't want to stay in my room. I needed some fresh air. I walked straight to the topmost deck and stood by a railing. Not many people were present on the deck in the morning. Cold breezes are touching my face. There is much silence up here, not any chaos, no rush for anything. I can see people meditating, standing in silence without doing anything or doing yoga. People are most disciplined in the morning. There's no sound other than the roar of the sea. Only the water has its loud voice. Which is pleasant, which is smoothing, which is peaceful. I was getting so calm, I couldn't realize. As far as I see, I nothing else than water, blue sea. This nature has so much power to heal Your mental health. I think people should come to the sea often. I had no anger from last night, I got calmed down. Everything feels so peaceful right now. Silence has great power. I should start practicing silence now. A moment of Silence after waking up in 

Chapter 20 Guilty and Apology