Shards of Ice

After a sleepless night on the floor, freezing, and using my clothes as a mattress, I was out at the crack of dawn to take care of my shopping. Delicate blooms of snow rained down onto the streets of Ketchikan, giving off the illusion that all the trees, buildings, and everything else in the town was molded out of thick, cloudlike ice. I managed to find a decent second-hand mattress and some new bedding and had enough money left to stock up on groceries for the entire month. To top it all off, I didn’t get charged extra to have the furnishing store deliver everything to my apartment door. That included my groceries. Feeling like there was still hope left in humanity, I immediately turned the lock on my door when the delivery people left and unpacked everything from the bags. I also bought two extra locks and chains for my door, which I prayed I’d be able to install myself without permanently damaging something, and ended having to get things fixed—which I definitely couldn’t afford right now. The small bachelor flat would make a good front cover for an apocalyptic-themed magazine. The faded rose wallpaper was covered in an assortment of water stains, shredded in places, and had random holes drilled into them. The wall where the kitchen area was had ‘stud’ spray-painted in graffiti, and the sink was overgrown with mold. The bathroom was a nightmare. The bathtub was past redeemable, with a large hole in the middle and the enamel eaten away by the overuse of chemicals. I considered turning it into a mini-herb garden and spruce it up with some colorful paint. But, at least the shower worked and was cleanable. It would take me a lot of work and money to make the place livable, but it was better than being knocked around and having every move you make watched under a microscope. The day I walked out of my home of eighteen years, St. Hills orphanage, I was convinced I had nothing but great things ahead for me. With new-love butterflies inside my tummy and being a freshly enrolled student at the local University to get my degree in nursing, I never imagined my life would go from bad to worse. I went from a prison to a place called hell. Now, I could go wherever and whenever I wanted. I was no longer shackled down under a man’s control—even if it meant I had to put up with a ratty apartment and harassment from my neighbor. There was a knock on my door as I was busy moving the mattress into the corner of the room. I wiped my hands against my jeans, headed for the door, and peered through the peephole. Speak of the devil. Doing my best not to make a sound, I tip-toed away from the door and picked up my new bedding to spread out onto my bed. “I wouldn’t sleep too peacefully tonight if I were you.” A sick, stomach-turning chuckle sounded from the hallway. “Uptight bitches around here don’t fare too well. If you ‘aint riding your way in, you get put down quickly. It’s your choice, cupcake.” A wet cough moved away from the door. “You know where to find me. I have a hungry beast in my pants to please, so you better grab that offer while it’s still hot on the table!” I dropped the blanket I was holding, headed for the kitchen counter to pick up the hammer lying there, and grabbed a lock. “Screw you,” I murmured under my breath and got to work. *** Monday morning hit me like a freight train. I woke up shivering on the floor, where I somehow managed to roll off the mattress. A weekend spent scrubbing and sweeping showed on my hands and body, and the lack of sleep carried heavily under my eyes. During the past two nights, it was clear Red Roy would make good on his word and harass me throughout the night. I was startled awake a few times by ear-splitting bangs against the door, testing the value of the locks I installed. At this point, I had full faith in my contraptions but questioned the durability of the door’s wood. Next month my extra money would go for a railing door. My initial plan was to buy a new bed, but that was something that had to wait. Safety always came first. It was late spring in Alaska, but the climate was below freezing point. A thick layer of dust had already settled across the freshly polished kitchen counters and glimmered like diamonds from the sun casting through the curtainless windows. Today was my first day as a student nurse at the Ketchikan care home for the elderly. Ultimately, I wanted to finish my degree in nursing and find a job at a high-end hospital wherever I end up with a permanent residence. Then, I would work until I had saved up enough money, enroll in a night college, and finish my degree from there. I managed to get dressed in record time and did the best I could with the bit of makeup I owned and was out the door, double-checking if it was locked properly. When raised voices echoed through the large, dimly lit hallway, I made a quick turn for the elevator I swore never to use again. To get to the stairs, I would have to pass Red Roy’s open door. I would rather take my chances with the rocky elevator, thank you very much. Nearly an almost heart attack later, I made my way out into the white Alaskan streets to make the best of my new life.