Chapter 99

I focus on something to be pissed about, and it does the trick. Moody, bitchy tone setting in. I can always count on my brokenhearted jealousy to find the fire in my soul. I sound as bitter as he makes me feel, and I’m glad the water is pouring over my face and camouflaging the tears falling of their own accord. I have zero control of that right now, and glad he can neither see nor hear them. I deserve that. I don’t know what to say to you. I’ve been a coward for days because I can’t face you. I don’t know how to say the words to you or how to say sorry for what I’m going to do. I guess we both know what’s going to happen next week. He confirms my worst fears and solidifies my decision in that one brief statement. Ripping what’s left of my shredded, mutilated heart out and stomping it all over the floor until there’s nothing left but a mess. He’s chosen to go through with marking her, and this is his goodbye. His confirmation. Then don’t. I need to go. I have to do chores. Maybe just l