Chapter 18 In my mind

Dwayne's P.O.V "YOU WANT ME TO LET YOU IN?! BUT YOUR THE ONE WHO LEFT THE MOMENT YOU FOUND OUT THAT I WAS YOUR MATE! SO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE!" I was stunned by her statement. I wanted to comfort her. I wanted to wipe her tears and tell her that I won't go anywhere. I open my mouth but decided not to, she was right, it was my fault. I was the one who left her first. And there is no time that I didn't regret that. Now I can't do anything but watch her broke into pieces in front of me. She turned her back to me and started running away from me. I wanna chase after her but my body won't listen to me. I stood there frozen in my feet. Her brother glared at me if looks could kill I will be dead by now. I thought he will end up beating me but he stops in front of me. "You better live her alone this time!" He mutters, cursing under his breath before following where she vanishes. "Son." My father whispered behind my back. He put his hand on my shoulder. I remain silent, I shoved his hand and walk my way out of that place. The sound of waves smashing the cliff reach my ears. I didn't even notice that my feet take me to the East Mansion. I was here again, I stared at the huge snow-white medieval-style castle mansion. I just stood there staring at it. I never even visit this place before but right now I always find myself coming here, where she was. I didn't even notice that I stay there staring at the Mansion for too long, until I heard some footsteps coming this way. I don't know why but I found myself hiding, not having the gut to talk to her even though I wanted to. For the first time I found myself afraid. Afraid that once I show up in front of her right now she would really despise me, or I'll see her shatter in pieces again because of my doing… My wolf wanted to argue with me. He wanted to comfort her. I watch her walk as she made her way inside. My eyes observing her every move. She stopped for a second, which made my heart stop. I thought she notice I was here. A smile form on her lips, making me shiver down to my spine. As if she was thinking of something interesting? I don't know why but something about it is making me uncomfortable. As soon as she got inside. I decided to get out of here. I wanted to talk to her but right now is not a good time. I also need to fixed my thoughts. And the way she was hurting because of me, is eating me up… My mother welcome me as soon as I got inside. She looked worried? She grabbed my hand as soon as she saw me walk inside the door. She guided me upstairs. "Something happened to Sarah." She muttered worried. We entered her room, Clint was there with my father. Sarah was lying on her bed unconscious. "What happened?" They both look at me. Clint look pissed as he saw my face. "I found her in the forest, she was unconscious." Clint mutter, I frowned at his statement not even sure if I should believe him. Knowing they were hiding so much from us. I was about to force him to tell me the details but my father bump in. "We should go in my office and talk about what happened." Clint just nodded his head and went outside first. "Stay here with her, you know how fragile that child is." My father said, reminding me of my responsibility to her. My mother glance back at me before following them outside. This is getting more frustrated! There are so much happening in just one day. I went beside Sarah. She had some small bruises on her arm but she is fine. Glancing at her sleeping demeanor. I didn't notice it earlier but she lost so much weight. Her face became paler, and her arms looks like she could break any minute… Her condition worsens after his father's death then, the death of her mate made it worse. She was send to the White Moon Pack to get her better as an excuse of her training there. She looks weak, I stroke some hair away to her face and her eyes flinch. Brown eyes blinking as she tries to get her eyes adjusted to the light. "Dwayne…*sob*" She started crying as soon as she saw me. I pulled me into a tight hug stroking her back. "Shhhh… you're okay now." I whispered, her sob continues. I waited for her to calm down and gave her a glass of water. I sat next to her, she put her head on my shoulder. Leaning at me for support… "Are you okay? What happened?" I ask. She glanced at me, her eyes were on the verge of crying again. "I don't know what happened, all I remember is the strong wind" She mumbled and started crying again. "I thought I was going to die." She added. Her eyes were staring blankly in the space. She looks frightened her whole body is trembling. I pulled her into a tight hug, wrapping her hand around she leans on my chest as she weeps. "Shhh... Everything is okay now." I know I don't have the right to comfort anyone knowing my mate is hurting because of me. "Please don't leave me alone, I'm afraid… I don't wanna be alone." She mutters desperately gripping my shirt as she cries. "I won't." I know I should say this to her but I cannot just abandon her, knowing I'm the one who took everything away from her. Her mother died giving birth to her, making her left with no one but his father. But his father died protecting me because of sudden attack when we were young. After that my family took her in and treated her as their own daughter. They even thought that she would be my mate. Then her mate appeared out of nowhere and there that incident happen. His mate died within my own hands. I gaze at her; she already fell asleep. I don't have any romantic feelings with her but my guilt is eating me. I'm hurting to important people in my life. I cannot help or comfort my own mate and that broke me into pieces. I walk to the veranda glancing back at Sarah who is now sleeping soundly. At least I did something good today? Or so I thought… The next day, I was called early in the morning at my father's office. He was busy with some documents when I got inside. He glanced at my direction and stopped whatever he was doing. I sat at the chair next to his table… His office is composed of large mahogany table with at least 12 seats, and his main table that sat at the center next to the large window. We only do some meetings here with Alpha's anyway. "The Royalties will arrive today as well as the Alpha's " he announces. His expression doesn't seem like he was liking that idea. "Last night Clint mention about a traitor within each pack." I just remain silent, waiting for him to continue. I was not surprised by that news, that idea actually slip my mind a couple times after the incident yesterday. Someone is cleaning up the traces. "They found out that the Rogues used an old passage that has not been used for ages." He added, while rubbing his temple. "So what do you want me to do?" He gazes at me; his expression is serious. "I want you to investigate the passage with the Royalties. I don't know but something doesn't fit. And knowing that they hide too many things from us. We couldn't just trust them." So he also notices? I thought he was completely smitten by the Central Kingdom. "I understand. Is that all?" He just nodded his head indicating he was done talking to me. He continues glancing at the documents in front of him. Sarah was walking downstairs went I got outside my father's office. She hurriedly went to my direction. She recovered this morning but she still looks weak. She was wearing a pink sundress dress. "Stop running." I reminded her, she went to my side and put her arms around my left arm. "I miss you… and you told me that you won't leave me! But when I woke up you were nowhere to be found." She pouted, and glance at me sadly. Her eyes were on the brink of crying. "Silly, I'm not going anywhere." I patted her head, her eyes gleaming. She looked satisfied. We both head outside. And as soon as we step outside, I wanted to run back inside. There she was the only person who is always in my mind.