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CAN'T BREAK MECAN'T BREAK ME
Ayoko: Webfic

Inappropriate proposal

I wake up earlier the next day as to be more prepared for my chores. It’s still dark outside when I adorn my maid uniform and starts immediately with breakfast. Mama taught me how to cook but somehow, I can never get it perfect, the way she used to. Her cooking has a special place in my heart and thinking that I will never get to taste it again makes me sad. There are many things about her death that I still haven’t accepted. In fact, a part of me still hopes that she will come back some day, as if she was only gone for a long trip. I know it’s delusional to think this way but it’s the only option I have to cope with the pain, otherwise I will just break down and let myself die, just like she did when Antonio left. I started breakfast first because I planned on making larger portions, stored in the fridge so I can gain some time for future days. After that is done, I pick up where I left yesterday with my cleaning. The mansion is quiet and dark. Sometimes, I feel like the shadows are moving and shivers run down my back. I’m a little of a coward sometimes but I guess I just need to get used to this place, and my paranoia will naturally go away. I thought that the Whitlock family would wake up at eight but maybe that only applies for the old man. I run into Ivan at seven. He was coming back from a morning jog and I have no idea at what time he woke up or when he left the house. “Good morning, master Whitlock.” I greet him. He doesn’t say anything back. I guess his parents failed to teach him basic polite behavior. Ivan stretches by the entry door, his earphones plugged and the music blasting so loud that I can hear it from where I’m standing. After he’s done, he runs up the stairs, brushing past me like I’m a ghost. He also leaves a trail of dirt and mud after him. I curse repeatedly while cleaning his mess. This guy is really set on making my life a living hell in this place. At eight, breakfast is served. Master Whitlock is the first to come to the dining room. “Why don’t you go and wake up the boys?” He tells me. “Sure.” I take the stairs before realizing that I don’t know which rooms belong to the sons. I just know Ivan’s one since I saw it yesterday. Using my intuition, I decide to try the doors next to his. Some of them are locked, others are empty, but I end up finding Valentino’s bedroom through this method. It’s not what you would typically except of a twenty years old. It’s like Valentino’s room stayed frozen in time from when he was a teenager. The walls disappeared entirely under tons of posters of rock bands and soccer players. The floor is littered with dirty clothes and there is a strong smell of cigarettes in the air. Valentino’s body is outlined under the heavy covers. I open his curtains first before I attempt to wake him up. I try to be as gentle as possible but since he doesn’t open his eyes, I have no other choice but to hit him with a pillow. “Hey!” He sits up and glares at me. I find it funny with his bed hair and half closed eyes. “Good morning, young master Whitlock! Your father is requesting that you join him for breakfast.” “Ugh.” He gets under the covers again, hiding from head to toe. I sigh and leave him alone. I’ve tried my best. Next, I check Ivan’s bedroom but I’m glad to find that I won’t need to hit him with a pillow since he’s already awake. I find him combing his hair in front of the large mirror in his dressing room. He’s dressed smartly in a sweater and jeans. I can’t help but admire his tall and slender body. “I’ll be there in a minute.” He slurs before I even get the time to tell him anything. The last one to call is little Nico. His room has not been decorated. It’s plain and lifeless for a child his age. I wake him up and he doesn’t make it difficult for me. Nico lets me take him to the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his hair. He stares at me strangely through the mirror and I smile at him. It seems like he wants to say something but hesitates. I take his hand and we get to the dining room together, his brothers and father already installed. Only Valentino is still looking like a wreck with his messy hair and unwashed face. The old master Whitlock doesn’t seem too pleased with that. Something tells me that he would like to see his sons at their best at all times. Later during the day, Ivan comes to fetch me in the kitchen. We head together to a side of the mansion I haven’t explored yet. That’s where we find another study room, which belongs to him, apparently. It hasn’t been occupied for a while and smells of dust when we get inside. “I would like you to clean this room, Catalina.” He tells me. “Sure.” “But before that, I would also like to discuss certain things with you.” Ivan hands me four documents that look like timetables. I try to go through them but his presence becomes increasingly distracting. He’s standing a little too close, dominating me with his height and his expensive eau de parfum taking over all my senses. Ivan shoves his hands in the pocket of his jeans and explains: “These are our respective timetables. As of Monday, you will have to assist us with our daily activities. My younger brother Nico will be attending kindergarten and due to his young age, you will need to help him get ready in the morning and then, our personal driver will take him to school. Valentino attends college. He might be twenty but is still as irresponsible as Nico, so make sure he is up every morning. Is that clear?” “Yes, master Whitlock.” “My father and I will go to the Whitlock Company. We won’t trouble you with wake up calls but it's best that you know our schedule nonetheless. Also, I will need your phone number so I can contact you when needed.” I nod and give him my phone number. I think I can manage with these schedules. Knowing that the Whitlocks will be out of the house most of the time during the week puts me at ease. The least I have to deal with them, the better. Since Ivan doesn’t have more instructions to give, I go get the cleaning supplies to take care of his study room. Yet, when I come back, I find him sitting behind the desk with his computer. I frown at that. He is not going to sit there while I clean, right? But everything seems to point to that. Ivan makes himself comfortable on his seat and starts typing on his computer. I have no other choice but to get to work, despite his presence. Putting my earphones on and listening to music helps me to forget that he’s there. I pretend that I’m alone while I dust the furniture and swipe the floor. There are huge shelves taking the entire wall on the right. My eyes wander on the academic ranging from subjects like economy to the history of Northern South America. My fingers run over the thick covers as I wipe them one after the other. I itch to just sit on the floor and read these. I have always loved to learn, maybe because I rarely got the opportunity to indulge in education. The schools in our neighborhoods are the worst. Kids don’t go there to learn, they are sent by their parents simply to have them out of their way. They would bully and hurt each other on a daily basis. God knows how many children where stabbed during school break or got into dangerous fights with gangsters on the yard. Going to school felt like being on a war zone. When I was there, I couldn’t concentrate on my studies because I had to keep my mind alert and be cautious of my classmates. I thought that I would be able to retrieve all those missed information when I would be old enough to attend college but see where I am...I am working as a maid, dusting books instead of reading them. Even basic education is a luxury for people like me. Lost in my thoughts, I didn’t hear Ivan getting up from his desk and coming towards me. Suddenly, there is a hand on my hip and my body instantly freezes. I am still holding a heavy book and I can feel Ivan standing right behind me, so close that our bodies brush against one another. He breathes slow and deep. We stay unmoved for a minute or two. I don’t know how to react because I don’t understand what’s going on. What does he want? His grip on my hip tightens. I remember father’s inappropriate behavior and his hands always finding a way to roam over my body. I shiver with disgust. “What are you doing, master Whitlock?” I ask in a low voice. Ivan pushes against me, trapping my body between him and the shelves. I think the way he’s touching my waist and thighs right now is enough to confirm my worst fears. “Stop.” I want my voice to sound strong and intimidating but it comes out as a mouth squeak. Ivan turns me around so I can face him. My eyes are filled with tears but it doesn’t wave his heart. I can see the lust in him. “I can make your stay here easier, Catalina.” He tells me in a suggestive tone. “You’re a smart girl and you know what’s best for you, don’t you? If you’re nice to me, I will give you whatever you want.” His fingers play with a strand of my long hair. My breathing comes out shaky as I follow his movements with my eyes, terrified on the spot. “I don’t understand...” I breathe out. “Mm. I’m sure you do. I saw the way my books caught your attention. I will let you spend time in my study room every evening to read them but...Will you know how to prove your gratitude to me?” The bile rises in my throat. I was aware of the fact that Ivan didn’t respect me as a human being but never did I imagine he had such a low opinion of me. Sure, I have a difficult life but it doesn’t mean that I will sell my body for a bit of comfort. He might not see me as worthy but I have dignity and I value myself. I also care about my spirituality and won’t indulge in lust. “You’re not a virgin, are you?” He asks while putting a strand of hair behind my ear. “I saw how comfortable you are around men. This mansion is filled with us and you don’t even bat an eye. I’m sure you’re used to the attention. You love to know that all of us are imagining you naked and sucking dick every time you walk by. That’s what turns you on, isn’t it? These tears in your eyes don’t fool me. I know you’re not as innocent as you pretend to be so drop the mask already. If you let me fuck you, I will make sure to reward you accordingly.” Disgusting and vile...That’s what Ivan is. I slap him hard and his face flies to the right. I can see the mark of my fingers on his pale skin and yet, I don’t think I hurt him enough. I want him dead for disgracing me yet again. I turn to leave but he grabs my wrist and turns me around violently. The rage in his eyes is unlike any I’ve seen before. “Did you just hit me?!” He roars. His booming voice rings in my ears. Is he going to hit me back? Strangle me to death? Throw me out of the window? I don’t know. At this point, I think he’d be capable of anything. Ivan picks me up despite my protests and throws me on the desk. The documents and books fall to the ground, as well as his computer but he doesn’t care. Ivan is on top of me with his hand holding my wrists. My eyes are wide in fear because of how out of control he looks. “I will teach you to respect me, Catalina.” I hear him say through gritted teeth. In this moment, I’m really convinced that he will kill me. Is this how I’ll spend my last moments on earth?

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