Chapter 12

CHAPTER 13 (I)

I was shaken to turn my back on them and go inside, it fuvking hurts! I don't know but my heart seems to be squeezing with so much pain. The only person who causes me to be tired, I support him with blood and sweat just to support him, that's also the person who will also turn his back on me.

In the end, I am left hanging again.

As soon as I opened the door of my room I entered and immediately closed the door, in great pain of my heart I leaned against the back of my door.

Im not expecting this to happen, but why is that? Is that love really unfair? Is that really love? You're being selfish just for the person you love. That you will sacrifice even your own brother.

I smirked, I only learned one thing tonight. Sherina left me behind, she choose that brute over me. The new pain I felt when mom and dad left us came back. I thought only Sherina that I can lean on with such problems, but I couldn't expect that she's going to be the reason why I am broke right now.

Gradually I wiped away the tears that kept flowing down my face, I was caught in the door knob of my door because I could no longer cope with the pain in my chest. I closed my eyes and wished that I hope tomorrow everything will be alright, but when I woke up my eyes caught my attention the squidward keychain hanging on the wall with the key to my house and car.

This keychain is given by Chaos ...

And another dagger came back to my heart when I remembered what I saw on TV, he's with Diana. I no longer knew what to believe. Everything is too chaotic. I was so tired of pretending that everything was okay, that I could accept all the pain. I am tired pretending for everything.

I suddenly remembered what Sherina said about her family day in her school back then. Then suddenly I gulped.

"Ate Sha?" I glanced at the balcony door when I saw Sherina there. She's wearing her p.e uniform and ponytail with the same hair that I think manang did.

I guess she's going to persuade me again about the family day in her school, last year I didn't attend because we're totally broken and there's no family in us like wtf right? She and me is that what she called family? Just the two of us?

"What now Sheri?" I asked her lazily, I'm also doing my assignment and here she is and I'll be tickled again on that lecheng family day!

"Can you come with me please?" She said that while walking closely to me until she finally in front of me. She also pout her face and twinkle her eyes.

"I can't She. You see im busy." I said while not looking into her. I can't even see but I can feel the sadness in him, especially in the surroundings that also feel sad, I can feel it in my surroundings.

"But ate, last year I didn't attend because you said you won't come so I just didn't go in like what you've told me. And diba ate you told me last year that next year you'll come right? And this is it. " She said.

"Stop it Sherina! Can't you see that im busy! Stop that infatuation of yours that we're complete and come to that fucking family day in your school as if you still have parents! Stop acting that our family is still okay and complete! " I shouted I immediately closed my eyes fuck! I couldn't control myself! Shit I shouted Sherina.

I saw her froze and seemed surprised when I shouted. I saw that her knees were tender and her eyes were swollen.

"But you told me last time that you'll come with me this time right? You promised me ate. Its okay to me that just the two of us, I don't really want us to be together again. I'm contended for what I have right now, even just the two of us. " I stop myself for crying, she's just seven years old but her mind, her brain is running. What's with you She?

"Go to your room She, im sorry I wont come even you. So stay with you room." I close my eyes to what I said. Goodness !! I'm doing the right thing, right? Its for your good Sherina ... Someday you'll understand why am I doing these things.

I looked at her, unable to escape because of her tears and at the same time bowing my head. Jesus! You did it right Sha ...

"Okay sister, I'm sorry for bothering you." She said then turning her back and walking back to her room, she did that without glancing at me.

"If you only knew how much I want to go She ... I don't want you to see Daddy and his new family to that school." I said to myself.

I wiped away the tears that kept flowing down my cheeks. That's why I didn't attend every single of that Family day. I have my reasons, I cant bear Sherina's hurting. Because that's also where Daddy's son studies outside, once I attended Family day, I just peeked and didn't send Sherina. Then I saw Daddy and his new family enjoying their selves to that family day. I made the right decision not to go. I can't bear to see Sherina see it. It's good for me to be hurt by what I saw, not just him. I cant lose her.

But why are you doing theses to me Sherina? Why did you choose that guy over me? Over your sister?

I can still remember when I rushed Sherina to the hospital because of her high fever, I didn't know what to do with her then so I rushed her to the hospital. She's ten years old that day.

I went back and forth to the hospital because She didn't lose her fever, I didn't sleep for a few days and ate to watch over She. I'm also neglecting my studies, many also say I'm losing weight and I'm neglecting myself but I haven't done all that as long as Sherina's safe I'm fine with it.

While walking to the hallway of the hospital to She's room, I saw a familiar family. They are walking happily while holding their daughter's hand in the middle.

My grip on Sherina's medications tightened. I bent down so that they could not see me when they met.

"Next time don't eat sweets pleasy honey so your tooth won't hurt okay?" I heard that bitch to her daughter that I can meet them and pass.
The child is only the same age as Sherina but they are still having a baby. I couldn't help but stop and glance at their backs as they walked away. I saw Daddy kissed both of their foreheads.

And that's where my tears finally flowed. I can't stand if Sherina sees this, she will break down for sure she's longing for a father's love until now.

One of the reasons I resigned from my job. I want more time with She, while I don't have a job yet I want to spend my days with her and aunt too.

But how can I do that if she prefers to go with that man? Should I let her do the things she wants?

Maybe I am really controlling her, if that's what she wants I will give it to her.

Im sorry Sherina ....

THE NEXT DAY I forced myself to get out of bed, I have to. I looked in the mirror when I noticed my eyes were puffy. Maybe I've been with them since then so I feel like everyone around me if I'm with the choices or options they rather not choose me because I am totally a messed and worthless.

I sighed deeply.

When I got down, I saw my aunt and Sherina laughing happily. Looks like that nothing happened last night, Sherina doesn't care about me anymore.
He saw me coming down so he lost his smile on his lips and bowed down.

"You're finally awake my dear Shaina. Good morning !!" Auntie greeted me warmly and immediately approached me to hug, I smiled bitterly. Im sorry tita I couldn't tell you yet what happened to me and Sherina.

"Are you hungry? C'mon lets eat." Tita said to me and turned her gaze on Sherina who was still bent over until now while playing with her fingers. When she's acting like that she's guilty of what happened I know her but I don't feel so I know she's not guilty.

"I'm not hungry aunt, I'll just drink water." I didn't wait for the answer from my aunt and went straight to the kitchen.

I was about to open the door of the fridge when suddenly someone grabbed my hand.

Its Sherina.

"Ate ..." He called me modestly. I looked at her, she even bit her lip.

"What now She?"

"I-im ---" I didn't finish what he was going to say.

"I know She, you don't have to remind me again and again that I am the worst ate that you had. That I have never been a good sister to you well that's how you felt ever since right? That you have never felt for the love of a sister. You didn't see all the suffering and sacrifice I gave you ..... "I stopped for a moment because of my sob, fuck! Why this have to be so fucking hurt ?!

"That I am doing all of this for your sake and safety. But you don't see that, you only see my mistakes. I can't believe that of all the people who are most important for your sake, that's the person who will also leave for your sake. And that is you She ... "I gulped. "You choose that man man over me, over your sister." Fuck! The unfair right? While I was with her all the time, I thought she was done. She just fell in love but ignored everything I did with her.

"Ate ...." She said while crying too.

I violently wiped away my tears and looked at him with courage.

"You know what Sherina, you're right. I am over protective and controlling you. So from now on. You have freedom to free yourself and to do whatever you want. I won't ever stop you, hindi ja kita papakielaman. Wala nang my sister will control you from now on. " I promised and it hurt to leave. I even heard her calling me, but I didn't mind to look at her once again.

You're strong Sha. You're going through all of this shattered feelings.

I'm going to my friends' house now, I also told my aunt and I don't know when I'll be back again. I also said that I would resign from the hospital.

I passed a building where it had a large billboard and the shot was Chaos with his band. They are all wearing denim clothes on the bench. I guess they are endorser of Bench. I admit her beauty dominates. Am I missing him? The traffic was working correctly so I haven't seen him yet.

I was surprised when my phone rang, I saw Chaos calling so I answered.

"Finally! Where are you?" He said relieved when I answer his call.

"I'm on my way to my friend's house."

"I've been in the hospital but you weren't there. Im worried." The concern was obvious in his voice.

"I've resigned."

"W-what ?!" The shock was obvious in his voice.

"You heard me clearly, Chaos." I said coldly, I heard him sigh heavily as if there was a big problem being brought up. The tiredness is also obvious in his voice, his baritone voice that gives shiver down to my spine now seems to be struggling and tired of everything.

I dont want to be a burden anymore. Sherina was right all along, I am very cruel and heartless. I have nothing to prove to myself. I couldn't even care to someone. Is that really me? How can I be so selfish all of a sudden ?!

And it will be blame to my father. If only he hadn't left us, if only he hadn't joined his sidekick, if only he hadn't been my father!

God !!

"I-im sorry ..." I heard on the other line. I'm sorry too Chaos, I dont deserve you ... If only you knew how horrible and terrible I am since then .. I am pretty sure you'll leave me too like what my father did.

I am afraid to love, I am scared to be shattered and broke. I'm afraid I'm imitating the path taken by mommy and I also don't want that to happen to Sherina.

No ...

I don't want to be mad at love either, I don't want to end up my life just of fucking love! Love really sucks! So ever since then my heart has become numb to love and men. My father turn me to this ... All blame for him.

But why the hell did all of this ?!

"C-can I see you?" I could feel in his voice the doubt that at any time I would refuse again. He really knows me.

"Okay. I'm here, auntie." Even the truth is that I would have gone to my friends but I don't know if I suddenly turned around to go back to my aunt. Suddenly the other line fell silent.

"Chaos? Are you still there?" I asked because it was really very quiet.

"Fuck! Still cant believe this im sorry! I'm just glad. Like in just a snap of my finger you allowed me. Im so happy Sha. Don't worry im on my way. I love you !!" He didn't wait for me to answer and immediately hung up the phone.

Really Chaos ?!

This time, I'll give my happiness. Yes, I admit that for a few years now, Chaos has always made me happy, but that doesn't mean I love him. I'm just going to teach my heart to be happy, I don't know but when I heard his voice my heartbeat suddenly quickened, I was the one who was hurt the most when I heard his voice getting tired.

When it comes to him, my ex is ruined. That everything will change.

And chaos did.

I adjusted myself first so that I wouldn't look like a zombie facing him. When I thought it was okay I went down. I opened my car door and got out when I parked.

But when I went inside, I saw a familiar person sitting on the couch and my aunt was in front of him.

Why is this one here ?!

Tsk ..

"What are you doing here?" I asked coldly as he stood up and faced me. He looked at me from head to toe.

"So you're the girl who's always chasing by Chaos." I saw her smirked and cross her both arms under her boobs, her clothes are too revealing.

My aunt was just looking at us but I knew she was just holding back and an actress.

"I guess you know me right?" And come saken.

"Who are you to know? Are you really that fame and popular for me to know?" She sighed at my answer.

"Well bitch mind you! I am Chaos's girlfriend! And you are just his bitch!"

"Slow down with your words girl! Remember that's my niece and you're at home!" He sighed again at his aunt's attitude. I approached my aunt.

"Auntie, I'm fine, go upstairs first, I'll just talk to her." I promise.

"But hija ---"

"Please po tita .."

"Osige, but just call me upstairs in case that witch did something to you." I nodded and watched him climb from above. When I was sure that my aunt had already climbed, I calmly faced Diana Sandoval. Yeah the one and only!

"What now?" I have no appetite for questions.

"Leave Chaos alone." His promise was firm.

"Why would I?" I smiled at the question that made him cry.

"He's mine !!" I laughed, really ?! How poor she is.

"So?"

"You're really a bitch. Aren't you? Im going straight to the point ms. Whoever you are ----"

"I am Shaina Perez." I'm cut off from what he's going to say.

"Whatever, I don't care anyway. Leave Chaos alone! You're his downfall! You are ruining his life! You are ruining his dream and his career! You know that his dream has just begun, but why do you continue? continued ?! He could give up all of the things that he has right now just to have you! " He looked at me again from head to toe.

"I really don't know what he saw in you, but there's only one thing I can say is leave him because you're only chasing money with him right ?!" I laughed.

"Bitch im rich too, I dont need anyone's money." But he just scolded me.

"Not as rich as Chaos."

"Leave before I call security, And drag you away from my house, it's a pity you're still an actor." I would have turned my back when he spoke again.

This time gently ...

"Please Shaina, I know you are the only one who can help him. He left the band earlier and he has not signed a contract for upcoming projects and opportunities for his career and his band. It will have a huge impact on them if Chaos even his uncle disappears. Kim, I'm so affected. Chaos is ready to leave an unfinished contract and all of that will blame Kim, Shaina .. And the truth is that Kim is the one who sent me here to talk to you. You are our only hope to bring Chaos back . " I stiffened in my stance.

W-what ?!

"And do you know what his reason is?" I heard him laugh.

"Just to have you Shaina, his career is affecting you too much. He doesn't dream of what he has now, his dream since then is you Shaina. He's totally possessive and crazy in love with you." He paused for a moment.

"Their company is slowly losing money. The biggest music record in the country is owned by the Waltersons, one by one the company's investors lost when they found out that Chaos was gone and that it would leave everything." I was caught in my mouth, and I didn't realize that my tears were already dripping.

I fail to face Diana.

"C-chaos did t-that?"

"Yes. You've seen how much he loves you ever since. And yes I've known you and Chaos ever since, Kim told me. Im sorry Shaina, I'm just doing this for Chaos. The thing is slowly disappearing. all to Chaos and I believe only you can solve it. Please im begging you, Shaina .. "I saw that someone also helped Diana's tears.

Chaos please why are you doing this? What's the matter? What went into your brain and you do all this for saken ?!

What do I do now?

"I'll give you one week to be with him Shaina. Please bear with him in that one week and let him know how much you love him. Don't worry I'm the only one who will know. I love Chaos but I'll choose where he is. It will be fun. I'm sorry for all what I've done, but I know that it was only for a moment but I hope I helped. " I didn't answer and just bowed.

"I'm sorry for what I did a while ago, I just didn't stop. And here" I looked at the card he handed me.

"What is that?" I will ask.

"Vip card of one of the Walterson hotels, I want you two to go there to enjoy the remaining hours that you two have. I'm sorry I wish you a happiness even if it hurts me like hell." I could feel the pain in her voice.

"Runaway with him Sha, I know he's coming here. So be with him but remember the one week please ..."

One week happiness with him.

Im sorry Chaos ...

"Promise me Shaina, you won't let me down please ... This is for Chaos." She held both of my hand.

So even painful to accept.

I nodded.

This is for you, Chaos. Im sorry for all I did to you.

To be continued...