Chapter 12 please don't leave me

It does not take me but a second and I drop the phone and race over to Tyler. I find him lying on the floor in the stables. As I look over at him, I see he is not moving. There is blood. There is so much blood. I cannot see where it is coming from. I call his name. There is no answer. I shake him. He does not respond. I try to find his pulse. I feel nothing. There is nothing. He is not responding. It comes faster than a crashing wave over my body, "Tyler!" The pain knocks my breath away, and I cannot breathe, "Tyler!" I shake him harder than I have ever shaken anyone in my life ever before. "Tyler, Please wake up!" My words mean nothing. He is not moving. I beg, and I beg, and I plead, I say the words over and over, "Please, please, please, please wake up!" There is a deafening silence; the world has stopped. There is nothing but horror. My words are stuttering; I am totally lost; my world is shattered in pieces. Why is he not waking up? Why is he not breathing? "Tyler! You cannot leave me! You promised that you would never leave me. Come back! You can't go! Don't leave me, please, please. Tyler, please wake up!"He is not moving. There is blood everywhere. Where is all the blood coming from?" I check his pulse again. Nothing. I place my ear over his mouth. He is still not breathing. I cannot hear him breathing. I cannot get a pulse. "Tyler!" Then I hear it for the first time. I can hear a woman screaming. But there is nobody here. It is me. It is me that is screaming. Why is Tyler not listening? Then it comes to me. I need to phone an ambulance. Why have I not called the ambulance? How can I be so stupid? But I do not even know the number. I don't have the number of the hospital. I know the number. What is the number? As I finally dial the number, I don't give the man time to talk. I ramble my words. He cannot hear what I am saying. I am crying too much. I cannot speak. "Please send an ambulance; there has been an accident; please sent an ambulance." "Where are you?" "The ranch, the Moore ranch." I drop my phone, and I hold Tyler tightly. I squeeze him real hard hoping that he will wake up. But he does not move. There is so much blood. My body is shaking out of control now; I cannot stop crying. I am screaming so loud, but there is nobody to hear us. "Please, Tyler, please don't die." The ambulance gets here in nearly forty-five minutes. The ambulance guy rushes to get him in the back of the ambulance. ' He looks to me, "Miss, are you coming?" I am still standing there in disbelief. This cannot be happening. "Miss, we must go, or else he is not going to make it." As I get into the ambulance, my body crashes to the floor and I hold onto his hand, "Tyler, please don't leave me. You promised." Then what is another agonizing forty-five minutes, we arrive at the hospital. They rush him off to intensive care leaving me here alone. Standing in this dreadful waiting room is torture beyond compare. Every moment that the clock ticks away is one more second that Tyler is torn away from me. My heart feels ripped right open; not knowing what is happening is slicing every bit of me open. These four walls have become unbearable to stand between. As I pace the floor from the chairs to the opposite wall, my mind is running in circles. A mind that cannot bear not knowing anymore. It is damn right near insufferable. Every wink I take, I see as his body is lying on the floor. The helplessness that I could not wake him up crippled me. The pain stung my heart as he was not moving, as he was not breathing, the stillness that fell over his body; it all killed me slowly. There was nothing that I could do. What did scare me beyond belief and send terror to my core was the blood. There was blood everywhere. He was hurt real bad; it seemed as if he was caught up in a completely different world. It is with every fiber in my body that I pray that he will come through this completely unharmed. What am I going to do? I know that I am supposed to be strong, but I am so tired of having to be strong. Our lives are riddled with tormented pain. I really don't know how much more I can take. Losing him is not an option; living without him is also not an option either. Everything in me wants to crumble, but then I think of Tyler. And as I close my eyes for just a short while, all the good thing about our love comes flowing over me. And in an instant, the tears come flooding down my cheeks again. But just as I crash to the floor, the Doctor is there to grab me. "Mrs. Moore, come sit down." "I do not want to sit. How is Tyler? Please tell me that he is going to be okay?" He looks at me rather concerned, and I know that there is something that he is not telling me. He seems half afraid in saying what he has come here to say. "Mrs. Moore, I am Doctor Michael Crane. Can I get you coffee?" "That will be nice, thank you." The tears start streaming from both our eyes like volcano's bursting. This is the most godawful day of my life. I can't believe that this is happening. Just then Doctor Crane comes into the room with two coffees. Then the words start flowing out of Doctor Crane's mouth; it is as if I am in a completely different world. His lips are moving, but I am not registering what he is saying. "Tyler has lost a lot of blood," he says, but I can see that there is very much hesitation for him to carry on. But then he continues, "We did manage to stop the bleeding, though." "Is he okay?" I immediately ask. "He sustained a severe head injury." Immediately, I interrupt Doctor Crane, "What does that mean? What do you mean by severe?" "He is in a coma." I drop the hot coffee to the floor; it goes crashing all over my feet. The sting of the burn does nothing compared to the pain that just shoots through to every corner of my body. I feel my legs begin to give in underneath me; I crash with a loud thud down to the ground. I grab onto my chest, the air is thick, and the room is starting to spin. There is nothing but my screams echoing through the room and out into the corridors. Doctor Crane helps me to a chair, I push him away again. He must be mistaken, "No, you must be wrong; go back and check him again." "I am sorry, Jenna, I am afraid that he is." "Go back and check him!" "Jenna," Doctor Crane begs. I can see I am not making it any easier for him. "How long?" I ask, "How long is he going to be in a come?" "I can't tell; it may be a couple of days to a couple of months." Just hearing the words bring a wave of deep anger to me, I have to fight every urge to lash out at the Doctor. But then he continues with his horrific words, "It can be months to years, Jenna. But the longer he stays under, the more his chance for brain damage." "And if we move him to the city?" "Won't change the outcome, Jenna." "Fuck this. I am so tired of this. I want to see him." "He is not stable yet." "I don't give a fuck; I want to see him." The doctor leads me to the room where Tyler is in. It is intimidating and foreboding. There is only but one light on. Tyler's bed is in the center of the room. He is hooked to all these machines, and tubes are coming from his mouth. His eyes are closed; he looks so peaceful like he is sleeping, But he is not; he is somewhere in his body there, he is lost. Doctor Crane pulls me a chair closer, and I sit right by his side. I gently take his hand into mine. It is scratch and swollen; I softly kiss him against his palm, "Oh, Tyler, I am so sorry. Look what I have done to you." I lay my head against his chest to hear if I can listen to his heart beating. I know that as long as that machine is making a noise, then I know that he is alive. As long as that machine breathes for him that he will wake up one day. He is just sleeping, Doctor Crane has it wrong; he is just sleeping, he is tired from driving for so long. As I move his hair from those beautiful eyes that are resting, I whisper in her ear, "Please don't go anywhere." I go to fetch a wet cloth from the bathroom to come to wipe his gorgeous face; my tears drop down on his cheeks, "Please hurry up and come back." When I am done, once I know that he is warmly tucked in and that he looks as comfortable as he can, I lay my head down on his chest, "I cannot live without you; I refuse to live without you." And this is where I shall spend the rest of the night; the nurses try to get me to leave, but I only chase them away. After a while, Doctor Crane tells them to leave me alone, and they let me stay next to Tyler. I will not leave Tyler for one waking moment, and even in the rare moment that I am sleeping, I do not want to be away from him either. Then just as I think that the peace of sleep settles over my mind, I am awakened by the horror all over again. I see how Tyler is slowly slipping away, and he is drifting into the darkness. "No, Tyler, no," my voice pleads as I am ripped from what is only a bad dream. When I look up at Tyler, I check the machine that is beeping, and it is still working; Tyler is still alive. I pull myself even deeper, close to his chest; I know I might be hurting him, so I pull a bit away. "Tyler, I love you; please, it is time to wake up."