Chapter Nine - Willow

Hearing my mother’s name sent me over the edge. Vomit climbed my throat, and threatened to strangle me. It’d been so long since my father or myself had spoken her name. I often dreamed of her face, but hearing her name brought back many more memories. The way my father called out to her from the top of the stairs, asking where his shoes were. Or the way he called out to her after she passed and we buried her in the woods by her favorite stream. The one I’d drunk from that morning. I broke free of Mrs. Mabel’s house, feeling the humid air against my skin as it drew sweat on the back of my neck. The feeling of humiliation and failure followed me down the steps and toward the pack house. This wasn’t the way to show Chase how strong I was. I had proved that I could run the obstacle course, but crying at the mention of my mother’s name wasn’t a warrior’s trait. I ran with all of my strength to the pack house, shoving the doors open and jogging up the staircase. The hallway to my room felt tight and suffocating. I was supposed to show Chase how strong I was, and how determined. Instead, I’d run away because I didn’t want him to see me cry like a little girl. Shutting the door, I kicked off my shoes and buried my face into my hands. Go back, my wolf pleaded. Go back to him. “No,” I hissed into the silence. “So, he can see my weakness?” A warm roll of heat rolled through my body, and I dropped to my knees, tightening my fingers into the covers of my bed and hanging my head down low. My bedroom door creaked open. For a moment, I thought it was Derrick and he didn’t know how to deal, but I smelled Chase. The door shut behind him, but I didn’t look over at him, or tell him to leave, because the heat was burning through me. It would grow increasingly until I was in full-blown heat and unable to stop my wolf. Chase hovered over me, most likely addressing the situation, and lowered on top of me. His warmth settled against me. He placed both hands on either side of mine and bent down so that he was a shell over me. The electricity soaring through my veins bunched in my lower stomach and fed my wolf a sense of pleasure I’d never experienced. The heat began to lessen until it ultimately subsided. But I didn’t move. I let him protect me from the outside world. It was a dominance and a wave of need that cemented me to the floor. I leaned forward and rested my cheek against the bed. I listened to the sound of my heartbeat mixed with his, and his deep breathing. Carefully, Chase pushed upward, and a shiver raced down my spine from the space he put between us. His fingertips touched the back of my neck and he drew a straight line down my spine to my hips. “That better?” he asked, his voice deep and inviting. The irrational part of me wanted to push him away because I hated that he made me feel so good. Instead, I nodded my head into the bed. “Yes,” I said breathlessly. Chase stood, with me still bent over my bed, and sat beside me on the mattress. I could see the tips of his combat boots. I was too embarrassed to look up just yet. “Are you okay?” he asked. “I didn’t realize interviewing Mrs. Mable would upset you so much.” I closed my eyes, and one lone tear stroked down my cheek. “It was her name. Hearing her name broke me. I hadn’t heard it in years.” “Hmm,” Chase said. “This doesn’t make you weak,” he said. “You lost a mother. There is no one, unless a monster, that can take the loss of a mother with ease. You’re holding onto her because you have no closure.” Chase reached down and touched my cheek. I opened my eyes and lifted my head to look at him. There was a kindness on his face that not all alphas possessed. Maybe it was our mate bond, or maybe he was that good, but I believed him. “I’m going to give you that. Rex and I will do what we can to find them.” A moment of weakness waivered through me. I felt my pride sliding down my body to the floor. Slowly, I stood and stepped in front of him. My wolf pleaded for me to kiss him. She wanted to feel his big, strong hands on me. But I couldn’t. I’d given him so much strife since he arrived. I’d feel foolish tossing myself at him in a vulnerable moment. “My father wants us to have dinner with him this Friday.” Chase seemed to understand this was a peace offering of sorts. “I’ll be there,” he said. “Will you?” I laughed, and it felt lighter than it had in years. “Yeah, I think I will. But,” I said, stepping back from him, watching his gaze size me up. “This doesn’t mean I don’t want to become a warrior. I will fight for that until I can’t fight any longer.” The corner of Chase’s mouth lifted, and he stood, hovering over me. “I didn’t expect you to back down that easily, Bunny. You don’t seem the type.” I nodded and folded my arms over my chest. “So, we didn’t find out much because of me. I’m sorry.” Chase folded his brow and pressed his lips together. “Actually,” he said. “I think we did learn something new. We learned the rogues were there to kill your mother. It wasn’t as random as we all thought.” “You’re right,” I said more to myself. “What does that mean? Someone sent them?” He shrugged. “Maybe, or maybe someone owed them? Someone upset them. I’m not sure, to be honest. But I think the best thing to do is start with your father. Being it was his wife that was harmed, maybe he’ll remember something from back then.” I couldn’t imagine my father withholding information, but maybe he’d been so torn down that he wasn’t thinking straight. “Okay. Can we go now?” Chase scratched the back of his neck. “I think we should wait until dinner and casually bring it up. I have some things to handle with Keith today.” I knew becoming alpha came with a lot of responsibilities. There was no reason to be mad about it. I’d been an alpha’s daughter for years. “I understand,” I whispered. Chase walked toward the doorway and stepped around me. His big body stalled close to mine, and he looked down at me. “Your heat is getting closer, Willow,” he whispered. “Your pain is going to worsen. I’m right across the hallway when you need me.” Knowing he wouldn’t do anything I didn’t want to do soothed me. I feared that I’d get into his room and my body would betray me. I’d beg him to mark me, to mount me and do things I wasn’t ready to do yet. “I haven’t forgotten,” I whispered. My phone chimed on my chest of drawers, and I picked it up. There was a reminder about my upcoming college ceremony. I would have to ask Chase for permission to go. My wolf urged me to do it now and to invite him. Instead, I slipped my phone into my pocket, because I was too embarrassed to ask him. He must have sensed the feeling and turned to face me. “What is it?” he asked. “Nothing,” I lied. Chase gave me a deadpan look. “You’re fighting skills are much better than your lying.” Sighing, I looked up at him. “My college graduation ceremony is in a few weeks. I need permission to leave the pack lands.” “Of course you can go,” he said. “Just remind me closer to time so I can tell the guards. I’m assuming your father is going too?” “Derrick wants to go,” I said, kicking the toe of my shoe against the floor. “Of course.” I swallowed the painful lump of rejection forming in my throat. The anxiety I’d had since I was small put it there. “Would you like to come?” Chase’s breathing stalled for a few moments. Maybe asking him was stupid. Why would he care about my graduation … “I’d love to come, Willow. Tell me the time and place. I’ll be there.” He looked off into the distance and blinked rapidly. It looked like someone had reached out to him using the mind link. “Keith is waiting on me. We’ll speak to your father on Friday. If Rex tells me anything, you’ll be the first to know.” “Thank you.” Chase shut the door, and I let out the breath I was holding. That had felt better than I imagined it. I wiped a bead of sweat from my forehead and jumped when I heard someone knock on my window. I could see Derrick’s big head through the stained glass. I walked over and pushed one side outward so he could come inside. He jumped onto the floor and laughed. “You’re totally in love with the alpha.” Irritation flooded me, and I jumped to put him in a headlock. “Help!” he shouted while laughing. “Get outside, and train with me before you really need to call for help!”