Chapter 46

No matter how dusty the outside, the room is not even a speck of dust. The bed and sheets remained clean. The position of the cabinet and other things is still the same as before. I suppressed my sobs because of the portrait hanging. The portrait is of me with a big belly of mine. I thought back then, the loss of our baby did not hurt Randall. I thought then I was the only one who was very sad because he didn't show me he was hurt; he didn't show me it was painful to lose our baby. Or maybe he showed up, but I just didn't look because I was busy thinking I was the only one hurt. That I am the only one who knows. Have I been selfish in everything that has happened to us? Did I become selfish because of the decisions I made? I could no longer suppress my voice. The sobs escape my lips and I got on my knees as Randle slept in my arms. Randle's clothes were wet because of my tears. I would love to go back to Randall, but I am afraid that the terrible memories that happened to us will jus