Chapter 05

　　NEON's perspective 　　I felt hurt by her words, how could she reject my love? Can’t she see how patient I am with her? That she’s the only woman I can ever love. 　　But what, would never fall in love with me? 　　I, Alpha Neon of Moonlight Pack have never failed once and never would, not in love or any other aspect. 　　I have been anxious around her and was cautious with my words and what to say to her, whatever I say seems to annoy her or make her angry. 　　I did not know the sedative we gave her would be too much for her. 　　I was reckless and almost hurt mate with my actions. I was worried sick when she was asleep, praying to the moon goddess to forgive my recklessness and save her. 　　When I walked into her room and saw her standing by the window, I felt a rush of adrenaline. 　　She had no idea how intoxicated her scent is when she’s around me, and how Jax is purring in excitement at our closeness. 　　He couldn’t wait to mark her and claim her as ours. 　　If she could reject my love now, what if I told her that she was my mate and in my territory? And the kind of world that I live in, and my identity as a werewolf. 　　How would she take them? 　　How would she react when she find out? 　　Run away and recognize us as a beast? 　　‘We have to tell her and I’m sure she will understand.’ Jax had advised. 　　‘No Jax. We can’t tell her, there’s no way she would understand, she's different from us. She probably thinks I’m a beast that’s hunting for his prey’ I argued with him. 　　‘She might not be entirely wrong.’ He teased. 　　‘Not you too, Jax.’ 　　She’s human and I’m not. 　　Her existence was a threat to me, I do not want her to be exposed to my world. 　　“Why would I regret it?” She scoffed and shook her head. “I already regret meeting you! If I had gone home that night, I would have never met you!” She was yelling, and it was hurting me to see her that way. 　　Can’t she see how much I adore her? I never chose to hurt her. 　　“Just leave me alone.” He huffed irritably. 　　I remained standing and did not move an inch from my spot. 　　“Just go! Leave me the fuck alone! Get out!” She screamed. 　　“Leave me alone!” 　　“What are you going to eat? I would ask the—“ I tried to touch her, I want to have my arms around her and whisper soothing words to her. 　　“I said leave me alone! If you are not going to send me home, then leave me alone.” She shouted and swept her hair off her face with her hand with her back against me. 　　I dropped my hand, and let them fall to my side. 　　“You have a lot to say with those pretty mouths of yours. I will send food then, you must be hungry, and we will have this conversation when you are ready to talk to me.” I turned and walked out of the room without sparing her another glance. 　　She had no idea how worried I was, and how I was trying to keep her safe and make sure the pack members were not aware that she was my mate. 　　An Alpha must not show any of his emotions, I can not tell her what I feel the least I could do was show her, how badly I needed her to be here with me. 　　I went down to my study room, which was close to her room, threw the door open, and pushed off everything that was on my table. 　　I groaned. 　　She had no idea how frustrated I was. All I wanted was to find my mate, love her, and protect her. 　　I was happy I found her, staying beside her excites me and scares me as well. 　　What if she doesn’t accept my true form? 　　What if she doesn’t love me? 　　I want to get closer to her, I want to know more about her. 　　I exhaled deeply and plopped down on the chair with my elbows on the table. I reached out for the bottle of alcohol, it wasn’t the usual whisky the humans take it was mixed with wolfsbane. 　　I uncapped and poured them into a glass and chugged it down my throat. 　　I took another shot, to calm my nerves. 　　‘What should I do Jax?’ I muttered to my wolf and exhaled. 　　I did not want to force myself on her. 　　I want to make her fall in love with me the right way but I don’t know how. 　　How can I make a human fall in love with me? 　　A werewolf. 　　A knock came on the door disrupting my thoughts. 　　“Alpha.” 　　“Can I come in?” 　　“Come in, Silas.” 　　He entered the room and his eyes went round the room, the papers on the floor and the crack on the wall. 　　“Alpha...” He drawled. 　　I raised a hand to stop him, I wasn’t ready to listen to his nagging. 　　“Something happened didn’t it?” He pulled out a chair and sat down with his hand folded in front of his chest. 　　“She said she would never fall in love with me,” I said with a defeated sigh. 　　“Alpha, I’m sure your looks scare her, if I wasn’t your Beta and close friend I wouldn’t get close to you. Be nicer to her, Alpha.” 　　“I gave her a killer smile, Silas! What else can I do?” I asked with awful patience and slammed my fist on the table. 　　Silas frowned at me. “Maybe you weren’t real.” 　　“Fuck, Silas. I was real to her. I want to show her how much I cherish each moment that we spent together.” 　　“You ain’t being real.” Silas choked on a laugh and shook his head slightly at me. 　　“You are being in haste, slow down, else she’s going to hate you.” 　　“I’m being patient and she already hates me.” I grit out and throw my hands in the air. 　　“It has only been a day.” He waves a finger on my face. 　　I rolled my eyes at him. 　　It didn’t feel like a day to me. 　　Silas stood and began to pick up a few of the paperwork on the ground and place them back on the table. 　　If I showed too many emotions, I would be regarded as a weak-hearted Alpha by the pack elders and it was not needed in the leadership of a pack. 　　I promised myself that I would not lead the pack the same way my father did and how he died shamefully. 　　I sheered the thought off my head and focused on Silas still picking some of the papers from the ground and arranging them on the table. 　　“Have the servant give her some food. No, you do it. Get her something to eat.” I ordered and tapped my fingers on the table. 　　He stopped and spun around to face me, I raised a brow at him studying his sudden haggard face. 　　“The reason I came here was because...” He pressed his lips into a thin lip and lowered his gaze. 　　“The thing is...” He smacked his lips together. 　　“What?” I growled, Jax and I were getting impatient already. 　　We hated this about Silas. 　　“I went into her room earlier, and she wasn’t there, I thought you took her out of the room with you. That’s why I came here to check if you brought her to the study.” Silas grimaced. 　　“What are you trying to say?” My anger rose rapidly. 　　“She wasn’t in the room.” He rushed his words. “I think she has run away.” 　　“Silas!” I shouted. 　　I ran my hand down my face, pushed the chair backward, and stood up. I grabbed my jacket from the rack and wore it. 　　‘She hasn’t gone far, she must have run out when we left.’ Jax muttered. 　　‘Remind me to lock her in her room when we find her, Jax. I will smack her ass when I get her.’ 　　“That should have been the first thing you should have said to me!” 　　“I’m sorry. Alpha.” He rubbed the back of his neck. 　　“...Alpha...” 　　“Get the guard to clean up the mess and come with me!” 　　She can run, but she can’t hide from me.