Chapter 5 No Dwelling

I woke up to the blinding sunlight that seeped through the window in my dorm room. I let out a loud groan as I struggled to open my eyes, my head pounding with a strong headache. "Morning sunshine," I heard Michelle's voice echo through my ears. I sat up in my bed, rubbing my eyes to push the sleep away. Michelle, my best friend and roommate, smiled as she handed me a cup of coffee. "You don't look amazing." "Thanks," I grumbled as I took the coffee and downed half of it quickly. "How are you so cheerful? You drank more than me." Michelle shrugged softly, grinning. "I woke up hours ago, threw up my guts, took a long bath, and drank a very disgusting smoothie." I let out a weak laugh. "I should try your hangover remedies." Michelle grinned as she took a seat on my bed. "So..." she mumbled suggestively in a tone I did not like. "Wes, huh?" I blinked, placing my coffee cup down. I narrowed my eyes at her, unsure why she was speaking in such a mysterious tone. "Yes... you met him last night. What about him?" Michelle shrugged nonchalantly but her grin was enough to give her away. "Nothing, you guys were just very cozied up when I got back last night." My mouth fell agape. "What?" Michelle quirked her eyebrows at me. "What? You guys passed out in each others arms? Tell me it rings a bell." Memories from last night started to flood back in a blurry haze. "When did he leave?" She shrugged, "No idea. I passed out as soon as I got back. Honestly, I was so drunk I was sure I was seeing things." I sucked in my lips, feeling heat crawl up to my cheeks. "He just... it's nothing. He brought me home, we were talking and at some point must've fallen asleep." Michelle gave me a look of disbelief, a smirk playing on her lips. "Whatever you say, Fia. What's going on with Nate anyways? Isn't Wes his roommate?" I nodded my head sheepishly, looking down at my lap. For some reason, hearing how close and cuddly Wes and I were last night made me feel very shitty and guilty. "He is, that's how we met. I don't know what's going on with Nate," I sighed, frustrated as I ran a hand through my hair. "He makes no time to see me, he's been distant and honestly a little mean at times, and every time I try to talk to him about it he just dismisses me." Michelle's eyebrows pulled together in thought and confusion. She frowned, "Dump his ass. He's a douche." I gave her a flat look, "It's a rough patch." Michelle rolled her eyes, groaning softly. "Sure, you can keep telling yourself that or you can admit that Nate is an asshole and you don't need him." Leave it to Michelle to be as forward as possible although I did love that about her. I sighed, leaning my back against the wall. "He's never been like this before, Michelle. I don't want to throw away three good years just because he's being moody right now." Michelle placed a hand on my leg in a comforting manner. "You're right, you could give it time but still, he is being really unfair to you." "I know," I grumbled. "I just have to talk to him. Hopefully he won't ignore me today." "Well," Michelle clapped her hands as she stood up. "Looks like you have a rough day. Having a talk with your boyfriend with a hangover. Might want to drink up that coffee." After taking a long shower and starting to feel slightly better, I texted Nate who told me it was a good time for me to drop by his dorm so we could talk. Wes had class so we could have some privacy. Feeling uneasy about how close Wes and I got last night, I was a little relived that I wouldn't have to run into him. "Hey," I mumbled quietly, entering Nate's room. He looked up from his phone and offered me a sheepish smile. "Hey, Fia." He then stood up and walked over to me, placing a soft kiss on my cheek - taking me by surprise. "Did you get home last night okay or stay at the frat?" I walked over to his bed and sat down, Nate following and sitting beside me. "I passed out at the frat, came back earlier this morning," he told me, his voice hesitant. For some reason, he seemed rather uncomfortable. "I heard Wes brought you back to your dorm last night." He looked at me expectingly, waiting for some sort of explanation. I nodded, looking down at my hands. "He did." Nate nodding his head slowly, as if he were thinking about what to say next. "You guys have gotten closer pretty quick." I shrugged, mumbling my words, "He's a nice guy, I wouldn't say I know him very well though." Nate again, slowly nodded his head as if he were carefully processing every word I muttered. "So... you said we have to talk." I looked at him and hesitated for a moment. "We do, Nate." He pursed his lips in thought. "Well, shoot. Tell me what's on your mind." My eyebrows shot up. I couldn't help but be surprised by how endorsed he was. "Well..." I leaned back against the wall, criss-crossing my legs. "You've been very distant with me lately. Did I do something?" Nate sighed as he ran a hand through his hair, looking exhausted. "No, Fia, you haven't done anything." "So then what is it?" I was no longer in the mood to beat around the bush. I simply wanted to cut to the chase and understand why Nate was acting so weird with me these past few days. Nate paused for a moment. "Look Fia, I'm sorry for how I treated you last night. I shouldn't have lashed out the way I did and it was my job to bring you home safe but I let some other guy do what I should've been doing. I'm sorry for that." I took a moment, just looking at him as I debated how I wanted to respond to what he was saying. Nate was struggling to meet my gaze which made it evident that he did feel guilty. I sighed, shaking my head softly. "It's okay, Nate. We all have off days. But that still has me wondering why you've been distant with me. It wasn't just last night." Nate turned to look at me, his eyes warm and sad. He couldn't figure out the right words to give me an explanation. I placed a hand on his knee in a comforting manner. "I just want to know what's wrong with us, Nate. I thought we were okay." "We are," he quickly responded. "I just... I've been so caught up with all my school work. I didn't expect freshman year to be this difficult but I'm thinking of switching majors and now I don't even know what I want to do with my life." I frowned slightly, wishing he had opened up to me sooner instead of keeping all his worry and stress to himself. "You still have time, Nate. You don't need to have everything figured out." Nate nodded, heaving out a slow breath. "I know but it's been stressing me out. With how hard my parents work and the struggles they've had, I just don't want to disappoint them." I inhaled deeply, understanding where he was coming from but still being confused on why this was leading him to be so mean and secluded towards me. "I understand that but why didn't you just tell me all of this so we could've figured it out together instead of you pushing me away?" Nate looked down at his lap sheepishly. I could tell he felt bad. "I don't know, Fia," he paused, his eyebrows pulling together as he struggled. "If you want me to be honest, I guess I started to question what I really wanted so I distanced myself away from you. I realized I'm an idiot for pushing you away. I don't know why I would ever be so stupid to let you carelessly flaunt into someone else's arms." I blinked, not expecting that response. Part of me had a strange feeling that perhaps Nate was regretting the way he had been treating me only because he got jealous seeing Wes treat me so nicely, the way Nate should've been - as if Nate had started to feel threatened. "So you've figured out what you want, then?" Nate nodded, looking at me firmly with soft eyes. "Yes. I'm so sorry for messing things up between us. I don't know what I was thinking." I shrugged softly, still feeling conflicted about how I was feeling myself. "It's okay, Nate." Nate frowned, shaking his head softly. "No, it's not." I inhaled deeply, wanting this rough patch to be over with so we could go back to normal. I didn't want to continue dwelling if there was no reason to let this drag out any further. "Well, we're good now, right?" Nate smiled softly, nodding his head. "Yes, we're good." He reached over, embracing me in a hug. I rested my head on his chest, having missed the feeling of us being like this. A few seconds later, while Nate was still hugging me, the door flew open. Wes stopped in his tracks when he saw us. "Oh," he shifted on his feet, rubbing the back of his neck. It was clear that he felt uncomfortable. "Sorry. Am I interrupting something?" Nate shook his head, hopping off his bed. "Nope. I actually have class soon so I should be heading out." He turned to look at me, "I'll see you later tonight if you're not busy?" I shot him a warm smile and nodded, glad that we were back to normal. "Yeah, sounds good." "Later man," Nate nodded at Wes as he headed out of the room with his bag. Wes inhaled deeply, turning to look at me. "So... you guys are good now?" I nodded, "Yeah. I told you, it was just a rough patch." Wes nodded, avoiding my gaze. "Well... I'm glad you guys sorted it out." I narrowed my eyes at him, wondering why he was the one who was acting weird now. "Is everything okay? Are you mad at me?" "What?" Wes turned to look at me with his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. His features instantly softened as he looked at me. "No, of course not, Fia. Why would you think that?" I blinked. It seemed obvious why I would assume that. "You just seem annoyed at me or something." Wes shook his head as he let a small smile loose on his face. "Nope. I'm just... actually headed out on a date. I just came to change and drop off my books." My mouth formed the shape of an 'O'. I smiled. The Wes we all know and love is the same as always. "Who's the lucky girl?" Wes scoffed at my response. "Her name's Katie, we met in class." I nodded, puckering out my lips. "Well, she should feel honoured to have made the cut." Wes laughed, not looking at me as he pulled his shirt over his head to take it off. I quickly glanced away from bare upper body as soon as my heart rate seemed to increase. "I thought you didn't want to enlarge my ego, Fia. You're not doing too good a job at that." I scoffed, shaking my head. "Shut up. It's not like you don't already know." Wes turned to look at me again. A smirk formed on his lips as his eyes lit up with amusement. "Now that you're sober, I have to ask. You still think I'm easy on the eyes?" He wiggled his eyebrows as he flexed his pecks. My face flushed. I kept my eyes locked with his so my gaze wouldn't deceive me and travel elsewhere. I shrugged as coolly as I could. "You look like what everyone's thinking they're going to find in Area 51." Wes let out a loud laugh, shaking his head. "If only you believed your own words, sweetheart." I rolled my eyes, staring down at my nails so I didn't have to watch his muscles flex as he slid on a different shirt. "Well," Wes hesitated as he grabbed his phone and wallet. He shifted on his feet, avoiding my gaze. "I should probably head out." I nodded, not sure why he was acting so off. "I should too but have fun on that date." I offered him a smile. Wes smiled at me briefly, nodding his head. "Thanks. I'll see you later?" "Sure." Wes turned and headed to leave the room when I spoke again. "Hey, Wes?" He turned to look at me, quirking an eyebrow in a questioning manner. "Thanks for... looking out for me last night." A smile tugged on his lips. "Anything for you, Fia. Anytime."