Chapter 7

CHAPTER ELEVEN: About Them (Part Two)

Rigella's POV

Manang continued to tell the story and I just listened quietly. I want to know everything. It was all about them before I came and became a hindrance to them.

"... Until the day came when they got angry because Lara had dropped her grade. Lara blamed Ivan because she said Lara spent more time with Ivan than studying. They didn't Ivan was so miserable and not a day went by that he didn't drink alcohol. He also neglected his studies because he was so affected by what happened to them. He did everything he could to get her back. Lara with him. And after a few times of teasing him, they got along again. They love each other so much ... "

My eyes watered at what Manang said but I tried to smile. Not once, Ivan was able to coax me. Maybe just now? Or if he is really cheating on me?

Sometimes I ask myself, what do I not have that Lara has? Why does Ivan love her so much? Am I not enough? Why is that unfair?

"... And, the time has come when you talked to Ivan and you admitted that he got you pregnant. And exactly that day he was supposed to invite Lara to get married. Her world was so ruined then. As her second mother , while he was talking to me and telling me what happened, I could feel that he was hurting. He couldn't even talk to me then and he couldn't go to school. Lara visits him at his condo but he doesn't face his girlfriend. He is embarrassed. because ... he loves Lara so much but he managed to betray her ... "Manang said with a bow and I saw Manang's tears dripping.

The tears that I had been holding back were already dripping. If I hadn"t come, and I hadn"t admitted to Ivan that I was pregnant he might have been happy now with Lara. I was the barrier to the two of them.

I bit my lower lip to stop my sobbing. Why didn"t I realize that right away? I have to get out of her life for her to be happy. But why ... why don't I? Because maybe it's too much pain ...

"... Hi-He didn't know what to do then, he just leaned on me. He loved Lara very much and he wasn't ready to be a father at that time. And when he confessed to his parents he was hurt by his daddy, his daddy already knows what happened because you told his parents about your condition. It even led to the point that, he just wanted to commit suicide ... but he couldn't because ... because he was worried he has his daughter, Ice. He broke up with Lara then because they agreed to marry you. What he did was very painful but he sacrificed because he didn't want to hurt Lara any more ... " Manang cried and her weak sobs disappeared. Manang Lisa really considers Ivan a child.

I close my eyes emphatically. I didn"t know all that had happened to him. It was my fault why he was hurt then. Maybe the pains he caused me were not enough for me to pay for all the pains he suffered.

Manang sniffed before telling the story again. "Did you know that after you got married and he suddenly disappeared he went to Lara? He apologized to Lara but Lara didn't accept it. While he was crying at me then I couldn't even calm him down because I knew I wasn't The pain he was feeling would go away. All I could do was wipe the tears dripping from his eyes. If he was hurt I would be hurt more because I consider him a child. My whole life has just revolved around him. I am no longer had a wife and a family because I chose to take care of and guide her while I was alive ... "Manang's sobs and cries intensified so I hugged her.

It's only now that I realize that I deserve all the pain Ivan did to me. Because I was the one who ruined his life, in his dreams with Lara. I used to be aggressive so I ruined my life.

I took a deep breath and patted Manang's back. I held back my tears. Ivan has always loved Lara very much. I no longer wonder why he doesn"t want to release it even though we"re married.

When Manang finished crying, she separated from me and wiped away my tears. He smiled at me and picked up the tray in front of me.

Manang sneezed. "My story is getting longer. This soup is already cold, do you want me to heat it up?" He smiled at the offer.

I shook my head and smiled wryly. "Don't, Manang. I'm full. I'm sorry, I'm still telling you stories. You're still crying." I'm embarrassed to say.

Manang put my hair on my ear that was draped over my cheek and then sighed.

"No, daughter. I should be the one to apologize to you. I know you are hurting now because of what you found out ..." Manang said and handed me a medicine pill and a glass of water.

I took the medicine and put the glass on the tray. Manang said goodbye and I just nodded at him then he told me to wipe myself before he left the room.

I took the basin with only lukewarm water and then mixed it with alcohol. I soaked a clean handkerchief in it and squeezed it and then wiped it on my body. I was a little shivering from the cold.

I lay down on the bed and placed the handkerchief on my forehead. I stared at the ceiling and thought of things.

So maybe Ivan hates me and not once did he look at me as a wife it was because of me so everything was ruined with him. By the way, I just continued to leave him. To make her happy, she and Lara.

I slowly closed my eyes. My eyes are tired of crying so much. I don't want to ...

~ • ~

"Mommy ... wake up. Mommyyyyy ..." I heard Ice say as she patted my cheek.

I slowly opened my eyes and saw him smiling at me. I smiled a little, right now my son is all I have. Ever since he was born, my life revolves around him, except for Ivan.

I slowly sat up in bed and removed the handkerchief from my forehead. Ice handed me a thermometer so I frowned at her.

"Dad wants to know your temperature." Ice replied.

I just leaned over and put the thermometer in my right underarm. A few minutes later it rang and I looked at the temperature, 38.5 °. I have a fairly high fever.

I handed the thermometer to Ice and told her to come out first so I let her. I picked up my phone from the side table and saw that Mom had a text message.

From: Mom

-Rigella, Ivan told me that you didn't eat your breakfast and lunch that's why you're sick. Are you fine?

-end-

I took a deep breath and typed a reply.

To: Mom

-I'm fine now, Mom. I'll visit you tomorrow. By the way, where are you? Are you and Dad at home yet?

-end-

I waited for Mom to reply but five minutes later I didn't receive a reply so I turned off my phone first. I got up and put on my slippers then walked towards the veranda.

I looked at the sky and it was going to be night. I was grabbed by my arm when it blew hard, very cold.

After a while I went back to bed and lay down. I doubled the blanket I was using because I was getting cold.

I accidentally caught sight of Ivan and I's wedding picture that was framed and hung on the wall. I thought it was gone because when I delivered it here at home, Ivan just took it and said he would throw it away.

I looked at the photo and saw how sweet my smile was while Ivan was just smiling sparingly. And at least, he made an effort to smile there even a little bit.

I was so happy then because I married the man I wanted, wasn"t. I have been married to the man I have loved since we were children.

Maybe he doesn't remember anymore. I was his child that he rescued in a car that was supposed to run over me. Fortunately, he overtook me immediately. I am Rella and he is VanVan. We couldn't pronounce each other's names properly before so that's what we called each other.

We were very close then, just in case Mom and I left for America because of Dad's cheating on her. I couldn't even say goodbye to Ivan then. In my first year of college, he became my schoolmate, so I fell in love with him even more and reached the point where I fell in love with him.

But I can't be the only one who is happy, he must be too. Maybe, I need to do the right thing.

My memory of the past was shattered when there was a knock on the door. I got up and sat on the bed. I was about to get up and open the door when it suddenly opened.

Ivan was then thrown holding a tray with only food while Ice was smiling at me. They approached me and sat down next to the bed. Ivan set the tray down in front of me. I saw the rice on the plate, tinola on the plate, a glass of milk and water and then a pill of medicine that was the same as the medicine I had taken before.

I looked at Ivan and he only smiled slightly.

"Mom, me and dad cooked that for you!" Ice said cheerfully so I looked up and smiled.

I mouthed "thank you" at him and then at Ivan. Ivan was a little surprised but he immediately smiled at me as well.

I just ate quietly and then I took the medicine. Ivan took the tray and said that it would be put away and that he would take Ice to the room.

I lay down on the bed again and stared at the ceiling. Some time later I heard the door open and close. I looked at Ivan who was wearing a white T-shirt and pajamas.

I sighed as he leaned over me and adjusted my blanket. He lay down properly and closed his eyes.

I took a deep breath. This is maybe the time. "Ivan ..."

He opened his eyes and looked at me. "Why? Do you need anything?"

I shuddered and felt tears trickle down my left eye. "Ivan ... let's ... let's file an annulment." I said the reason for his eyes to widen at the same time as the parting of his lips.

CHAPTER TWELVE: Annulment

Rigella's POV

"Ivan ... let's ... let's file an annulment."

Ivan sat up in bed and stared at me in shock. I could see a mixture of astonishment and shock in his eyes. He shook his head and cast a series of spells.

I slowly sat up in bed and smiled at him even though I was already in tears. This time, I will think of him and not myself. This time, I want him to be happy that I am the reason. This time, I want ... him to fulfill his mother's longing for my release.

I wiped away my tears and forced a smile. It hurts me but, I realize we can't really do it anymore. He will never be able to love me because he loves Lara so much more than I expected.

Slowly his forehead furrowed and his mouth opened. I noticed he wanted to speak but no voice came out of his mouth.

I slowly raised one hand and stroked his cheek. This is the first time I can ... not literally but, this is the first time I will touch his cheek in an emotional event.

My weak sobs are disappearing but I still try to smile. I could hardly see his face because my eyes were already dimming because of my tears.

I don't know but, my mouth opened spontaneously and spoke.

"A ... Do you know you're my first love?" I asked her with a smile and I saw the part of her lip.

I sniffed and spoke again and continued to caress his cheek. "Since we were kids, I've wanted you. It's also possible that ... since we were kids, I've loved you ..."

I like, he also knows something about me because I already know something about him.

"When ... when I found out I was carrying your child in my womb, I was probably the happiest woman in the world because ... we already have a child of the person I love ..." I sobbed but still tried I smile.

I stared at his face. He is really very handsome and there is nothing to blame on his face. When I first saw his face I immediately became interested in him. Her face is gentle and really captivates the hearts of women.

"When ... we got married? Even though I know you're just being forced, I'm still happy. Because, that's my dream. To marry you. To build a family with you ..." I couldn't continue what I was going to say because I'm sobbing too much. I hugged him and tried to speak. "And now it's fulfilled, I'm happy ... thank you because even against your will you accepted me and Ice into your life. Thank you for marrying me even though you love someone else. Thank you for loving our son. Even you don't love me, it's okay with me that you love our son ... "I parted from him and touched both of his cheeks.

He just stared at me with a frown and wide eyes. I also noticed the trembling of her lips.

I smiled at him again. "I know that Lara is your pleasure. I'm sorry, because I ruined your relationship before. I'm sorry, because you can't marry her anymore because of me. I'm sorry, because I can't let you go during our seven years of marriage even if it's repeated you're making me feel like you can't love me. And I'm sorry, because I love you so much to the point that I'm hurting you ... "

I can only imagine the hardships that Ivan went through before, I was weakening. Imagine, he tried to commit suicide! I could not forgive myself in case his planned suicide went ahead.

After I said that his face was serious and I could no longer read the expression in his eyes.

I just realized, what if, I hadn"t been aggressive before? Will he be happy with Lara? But I also thought that if that had not happened, my son would not be with me.

"A ... Annulment? You want an annulment?" He whispered.

I closed my eyes sharply and nodded slowly.

"It's the best thing to do ... Even if it hurts, I'll do it. Just to make you happy ..." I looked up and bowed.

It hurts so much, it hurts even more than I expected. But what can I do? This is what it deserves. I want to make things right, I want to make him happy.

I was so bitten on my lower lip and I let my tears flow. I thought, I won't be hurt and cry every day if I leave him, right?

I was startled when he touched both of my shoulders. I looked up at him and my lips parted when I saw his serious face.

"Are you trying to seduce me right away?" He asked softly but firmly.

I swallowed and averted my gaze. I was speechless because I did not know what to say to him. I was actually scared of my decision because I might not be able to cope and I also didn"t want to hurt my child.

I felt him touch my chin with one of his hands and present my face to his. Even if I tried to keep my eyes away from his eyes, I couldn't. I was shocked when I saw the mixed emotion in his eyes. Anger, disappointment, sadness and ... pain.

"You didn't even ask me if I agreed with your decision ..." I held on tightly to the bedsheet because of the coldness of his voice.

I closed my eyes tightly and I woke up as well. "No ... Isn't this what you want? You want us to get separated so that you and Lara can get married ..." Even though that truth was painful, I still insisted on what you said.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes firmly. He also tightened his grip on both my shoulders but I was not hurt.

When he opened his eyes, it was wide open. I was devastated to see the pain and resistance in his eyes.

"Didn't you think that ... I can change my mind, Rigella?"

My eyes widened and I was stunned. What does he mean? I don't understand him ...

I stared at him confused and he just mocked me. His smile was a mixture of annoyance and bitterness.

I stiffened in my seat as he brought his face close to mine. He was staring into my eyes and his face was serious while his eyes were sad.

My lips parted and I closed my eyes. I felt him move and I woke up when I felt his breath in my ear.

"You want us to get separated, huh?" I was swallowed up by the heat of his breath in my ear and the tenderness of his voice.

"... But what if ... I refuse? What will you do?"

I took a deep breath and immediately pushed him gently. He just smiled slightly and his expression was blank.

"Re ... Refuse? What do you mean? You don't want an annulment?" I was shocked by the question.

He lost his grin and shrugged. He raised an eyebrow and nodded.

I gasped as he squeezed my waist and our noses collided. Our lips will stick together in just an inch. I was devastated to see him staring at my lips.

"Your lips are dry. Let's make it wet ..." he said and my eyes widened when he pulled my nape and he just grabbed me with a kiss.

His kiss was soft and firm, accompanied by the warmth of his lips. His eyes are shut tight as I am just stunned and unable to respond to his kiss.

My throat is dry. I don't know but my whole body feels numb.

After a few seconds he cut off his kiss on me and kissed me on the forehead. I caught my breath looking at him while he was staring at me deeply.

Shit, I didn't do anything but I was overwhelmed. Damn, Ivan!

"No annulment will take place. Even if you file in court then I will still block it. You know me, Rigella. I always get what I want. And sadly, I want you and you're mine. Just mine alone. " He said emphatically.

I felt tears in my left eye and unexpectedly, everything went black.

~ • ~

"Is she okay, doc?"

"Yes, Mr. De Leon. She just needs rest and take the medicines that I prescribed. I gotta go. Just call me when you need anything."

"Alright. Thanks, doc."

I woke up when I saw something transparent and I felt someone hold my hand. I slowly opened my eyes and I was swallowed up when Ivan"s face was immediately what I immediately saw. He was sitting on the bed, next to me.

I averted my eyes from him and spotted the wall clock in the room. It should have been early in the morning.

I turned to Ivan and saw him typing on his phone, he was texting. When he finished texting he turned to me and sighed.

"A ... What happened?" I will ask. I feel like I'm weakening to the point that even my voice I can no longer recognize.

He took another deep breath before answering. "You fainted. You should have eaten lunch and breakfast earlier so that you wouldn't go hungry, you got sick. The doctor said your fever was too high. It had reached 40 ° C too high."

My eyes widened. I have a very high fever. But, doctor?

"Doctor?" Kunot when I asked him.

He nodded. "Yes, I called our family doctor right after you fainted." He replied.

I was swallowed. "But it's early. It's embarrassing ..." I said.

He just stared and frowned. "Embarrassing? Tss. He's our family doctor, it's his job to treat us anytime. It's his job."

I suppressed my grin and just sniffed. Still the old Ivan, he still hasn"t faded into being rude.

"Wait for your food and medicine. I'm already buying from my staff." Aniya.

I just nodded and stopped talking. I died earlier. I was paralyzed in my senses when I felt my head ache.

I sighed as his lips quickly touched my forehead. He just teased me afterwards but I just stared at him.

But strangely, my headache seemed to go away immediately. Hayst! What's this?

"Better?" He was teasing me so I just ignored him.

His face was serious and I looked away.

"Seriously, I want to take you right here and right now ..." My tears grew at what he said. "But you're sick. And especially, we need to talk. Let's talk about that fvcking annulment and ... let's also talk about us."

To be continued...