Chapter 5 Aaron's Love Life

I had underestimated Aaron, it seemed. Despite his excessive drinking, his behavior toward me had been quite different. Initially, I thought it was merely a result of his inability to control himself after too much alcohol. But in reality, his mind was clear. He was fully aware that our marriage was a product of a peace treaty, devoid of any love. Our relationship could crumble with the snap of his fingers. I forced a smile. Why was he so guarded against me? So guarded that no matter what I did, I couldn't penetrate the walls around his heart. I stood at the door, unable to bring myself to leave. I wanted to assert some fairness for myself. "This is unfair, Aaron," I shook my head, refuting his perspective. "Our marriage may be pragmatic, but I have the right to know if my husband, that's you, is in love with someone else." I had finally said it. I wanted to release the pent-up sense of injustice that had been festering inside me for so long. He became furious, throwing his clothes about and rolling up his sleeves, exposing his muscular arms. It reminded me of a giant billboard I had seen on a shopping street long ago, featuring handsome male models. Compared to them, Aaron had a more chiseled face, and he was even more slender. I didn't want anyone else to lay a hand on him. The cruel reality was that I meant nothing to him. "You have no right to question that," he said, turning his gaze away from me. He had repeatedly tried to make me stay, but I had continued to reject him. To him, I was a dull woman, a party pooper. Moreover, he had always been cold and disinterested in me. Even though his attempts at intimacy were sporadic, I hadn't always complied, which seemed to have intensified his disdain for me. "Get out." "Aaron..." "Get out. Don't force me to resort to violence." I sensed the danger in his words. As I walked out of the room, he slammed the door shut behind me. Turning toward the adjacent room, I found myself in a familiar situation. Just like the previous night, I lay awake alone until morning. The only difference was that this time, I remained wide awake throughout the night, longer than I had anticipated. I only started to feel drowsy as the sun began to rise. But shortly after I closed my eyes, I was jolted awake by a knocking at the door. It was one of the kitchen maids. The maid warned me that she would discard the food if I didn't eat soon. Still feeling groggy, I got out of bed and hastily freshened up. When I glanced at myself in the mirror, I was taken aback. During the first half of the previous night, I had been eagerly awaiting Aaron's visit. If he had shown even a hint of affection, I might have been moved to tears. But he hadn't. For the latter half of the night, I had been crying uncontrollably. I knew I shouldn't have allowed myself to do that. Aaron had treated me the same as always, yet I had foolishly hoped for something more. It was truly laughable. My eyes were swollen from hours of crying. No wonder the maid looked at me in astonishment and left promptly after delivering her message. I applied some makeup before heading downstairs, trying to conceal the evidence of my tears. My complexion was now passable, and I wouldn't frighten anyone. Upon reaching the kitchen, I noticed the maid preparing to dispose of the food. I stopped her abruptly, my tone quite forceful. She turned to me with a contemptuous expression, speaking in a manner reminiscent of Aaron's. "I told you to hurry up. The food was nearly wasted!" She was treating me rudely because she had witnessed one of the fights between Aaron and me. He had been furious that time, angry that I had almost caused Julie to fall at a family dinner. Consequently, he had forbidden me from attending such events with him. Since then, I had become like a ghostly presence in our home. Last night's events had left me upset, and I was no longer willing to tolerate the behavior of the maids as I had in the past. "It was you who almost wasted the food, not me." I took the plate from the maid's hands and promptly ushered her out. She appeared incredulous at my assertiveness. "I wonder how long you can keep up this arrogance," I heard her muttering as she departed. "Be careful, sir might decide to kick you out tomorrow." As I sat down to enjoy a slice of chiffon cake, I thought to myself. She might not have to wait long for that to happen, considering my impending fate. Soon, they would need to welcome a new mistress into this house. The calm acceptance of my reality, which had brought me a measure of peace, now felt suffocating, like a tranquil sea suddenly hit by a massive wave. I wondered when Julie would move in. When I had first arrived at this vast mansion, I had thought it was too large for just one family. Why did it have to be so enormous? In the past, Aaron had provided me with more than just food. He had been the warmest presence during my tumultuous years, but now, he was no longer my guiding light. I remembered that the upstairs study used to be empty. It was me who had filled it with many limited edition books I bought from the store, all for him. Discovering his interests had been a formidable challenge. He always responded with phrases like "not bad," "sure," or "up to you," no matter what I asked him. It had taken a considerable effort to learn that he loved playing the guitar. It was quite a sight to behold—a wild alpha quietly sitting on a tall stool, strumming melodious hometown tunes on his guitar. At that time, I thought I knew everything about him. After all, for a person who rarely opened up, it was a significant revelation that he had shared his love for playing the guitar with me. However, I later discovered that his true hobbies included smoking Baby Jane Cigars from a northern city, savoring macarons from the dessert shop on Folly Street, and enjoying lattes at the cafe that had been in business for over a decade beneath his office. It was Julie who inadvertently revealed all this information to me. Although I believed the timing and context were right when she mentioned these things, I couldn't help but think that she had done it intentionally, fueled by my petty jealousy. She was an intelligent person. How could she not see the affection Aaron had for her? Even someone as slow in matters of love as myself could discern that he treated her differently. I felt a bit better after eating. The doctor had been warning me that I couldn't delay treatment for my illness any longer, or my lifespan would continue to shrink. Just as I was contemplating whether to return to the hospital for further examinations, I received a phone call. It was my primary doctor, urging me to come to the hospital immediately to meet with a specialist. He seemed to understand my hesitation but remained steadfast in his commitment to saving lives. With genuine concern, he emphasized that such opportunities were rare and implored me not to miss this one.