Chapter 3 Lie

I wanted to leave, but Julie kept enthusiastically grabbing my hand. In reality, we weren't close at all. Her family's status was significantly higher than mine, creating a chasm between us, much like the gap between Aaron and me. It was a gap I could never hope to bridge. I struggled to find common topics to discuss with them. In a casual tone, I asked Aaron, "Are you coming home tonight?" I could sense his guarded expression through his eyes, as if he blamed me for bringing up the question in front of Julie. Meanwhile, Julie spoke warmly to him, "He won't be home tonight. The doctor asked him to stay for observation." I nodded in acknowledgment. Clearly, he was reluctant to have too much interaction with me in her presence. He didn't even bother to respond to my question. Was it because of my shortcomings, or had his disgust for me reached its peak? I felt it was time to prepare the divorce papers. If this continued, I would suffer a miserable fate. But my heart ached. I liked to believe that I had given my all in serving him throughout our years together, but to him, it didn't seem that way. Due to the many misunderstandings in the past, no matter what I did, he thought I was pretending. It was my commitment to loyalty that kept me going. Furthermore, our marriage had become a hindrance to his relationship with Julie, making me the number one obstacle. Even though I had never questioned him about Julie, I knew they were more than just friends, contrary to what they appeared to be on the surface. I believed that after all these years together, I could never change the way he viewed me. A sudden wave of sadness washed over me. As I said my goodbyes to Julie, I informed Aaron that I would turn off all the lights in the house tonight. Before leaving the hospital, I made a stop to see the doctor I had seen earlier. I asked him to keep my illness a secret. Even if Aaron insisted on knowing, he should not tell him. "Why?" the doctor inquired. "There's no 'why,' doctor." If this terminal illness was the sentence I deserved, what was the point of telling him? "You look pale; you don't seem well." "No, I just didn't sleep well." "That's not it." The doctor saw through my lie instantly. He didn't appreciate patients who were dishonest with him. "There's a needle puncture on your arm. Tell me, what exactly did you do?" "I..." "A terminal illness patient drawing blood for someone else?" The doctor's anger was unusual, driven by his concern for my well-being. He wanted to convey the importance of cherishing my life. Why wouldn't I want to cherish my life? It was simply that Aaron wouldn't release me from his grasp. "Stop it and admit yourself to the hospital for treatment. You'll only harm yourself if you continue like this," the doctor urged. "No," I responded firmly, rejecting the doctor's suggestion. "I hope you'll keep this a secret for me." The doctor, with a restrained sigh, eventually acquiesced. He seemed helpless, saddened by my apparent disregard for my own life. "Alright," he conceded. I expressed my gratitude with tears in my eyes. Just as I was thanking the doctor, a familiar male voice startled me from behind. "What are you doing?" I quickly signaled the doctor not to reveal my illness, and he responded in kind. Turning my head, I impulsively reached out to stop Aaron from entering. He was perceptive and noticed my unusual behavior immediately. "What are you hiding?" he inquired. "Nothing," I tried to sound coquettish, but it sent shivers down my spine. "I want to go home, Aaron. Can you come with me?" He glanced at me with confusion, briefly diverting his attention from the medical report. The doctor promptly stowed my report in a drawer. "I have to stay at the hospital," Aaron informed me. "Okay," I feigned disappointment, feeling rather proud of my performance. Not only did Aaron not suspect me, but he also encouraged me to go home. He turned and left without any hesitation. The doctor inquired, "Is he a family member?" "Yes," I replied awkwardly, forcing a smile that likely looked terrible. I treated him like family, but he didn't reciprocate. It was already past 8 P.M. when I arrived home. My hunger gnawed at me, and I had nothing to eat. I contemplated asking the maids if there was any food available, but a quick search in the kitchen yielded no results. Recalling the cold toast from my previous attempt, I decided to make myself a bowl of noodles. Steam billowed from the pot as the noodles boiled, leaving a blurry trail on the window pane. The TV was on in the living room. I listened intently, surprised to hear Aaron's name mentioned. Wasn't he supposed to be at the hospital tonight? Julie had mentioned he needed to rest at the hospital, but here he was, appearing on live TV. As it turned out, it was the Hearst family's annual dinner tonight. He had been invited. It was obvious who had extended the invitation. I retreated to the kitchen, seeking refuge in the lingering mist. Tears fell onto the back of my hand. My heart still ached for him. Despite my determination to divorce him, he had left an indelible mark on my heart. Erasing him proved to be an arduous task. The live stream finally ended, and I returned to the kitchen to find the noodles in the pot had turned into a clump. My appetite had vanished. After rinsing the pot, I headed upstairs. Throughout the entire shower, I was lost in thought, absentmindedly using body wash as shampoo. The orange fragrance clung to my dark hair. I used to have beautiful hair. He used to say that. He described my hair as silky, running his fingers through it. He admired its beautiful color, as if it had a subtle glow under white light. I remembered everything he said about me. No matter how small, even a simple "good morning" or "good night," I held onto his words. But he didn't remember. Not only did he forget, but he also tried to make me forget everything. I cried before coming out of the shower. I dared not do it when I was in the bedroom because Aaron hated it. I cried once before, soaking my pillow. When he found out, he had the maids replace the pillowcase with a new one. Since then, I didn't dare cry again. I lay in bed after turning off the lights, but sleep eluded me. I was still awake when Aaron returned home, but I feigned sleep when he turned on the lights. His body reeked of alcohol. Unlike most drunkards, he usually had good control over himself, but not this time. I nearly jumped when he embraced me. Pretending to sleep, I couldn't let on that I was awake. I felt uncomfortable with his breath near my ear, but I couldn't push him away. "Are you sleeping?" he asked, receiving no response. He sighed, seemingly annoyed by my lack of enthusiasm. Suddenly, he bit my neck again. I had to wake up now. "Aaron!" I tried to push his head away, my fingers running through his hair. "What are you doing?" "Oh, you're still awake?" he responded playfully. "What else do married couples do?"