Chapter 4 : Maxine's

"Four businesses down. Two more left," I murmured to myself as I left the last cafe. Next on the list was a corner diner and I hoped they were short-staffed enough to hire me. The girl with the fucked up face. But that wouldn't stop me. Not today. I was determined to get a job. I didn't care what it was, I'd work my ass off regardless. I'd been waitressing before. Not my favorite, but I'd do what I needed to. Rolling my shoulders, I turned the wheel and pulled beside a parking meter about a block away from the diner. Not too bad considering parking in LA was a fucking endeavor. As confused as I felt when I woke up, very much alive, I also felt fucking spectacular. My eyes flew open at five o'clock in the morning, completely rested, still dressed in my pajamas. Tucked under the covers like I was when I fell asleep that night. Confidence poured off me as I dressed nicely to make a nice first impression. Cute but comfortable kitten heels, a flattering blazer, and a flared skirt. Scars be damned. I looked as great as I felt. On the agenda today: Return the business applications I filled out this morning. Hell, I woke up with more energy than I knew what to do with. I didn't care. For a change, I did some morning yoga and actually cooked breakfast. Took care of myself. Most of the time, I was too exhausted to chew on a stale toaster waffle. I wasn't going to question it. It felt too good to question. I still wasn't sure if Orion was real. At this point, even if he was a sexy escape conjured up by my overstressed brain, I'd consider it a win. Again, his face was a blur in my mind. But I couldn't stop thinking about him. The way he devoured my body, drank from me like I was a fountain of euphoria. What I wouldn't give to feel like that every single night. I thirsted for it. My stomach clenched hard at the thought of him. Whatever he was. If he existed. The skin on my thighs tightened with goosebumps. For a moment, I entertained the idea of what he'd do if he was in the car with me. Actually staring at me with a hungry gaze. Would he trace the marks on my thighs all the way up to my panties? Played with me while I drove, unable to give in to my desires because I had to focus on the road. Eventually getting so wet, I'd have to pull over and fuck him in his seat. Dimples. I remembered. He had dimples. I could practically imagine pink lips curling into a predatory grin as I took what I wanted from him. And he'd let me. God, just the thought had my body reacting. Orion clearly only cared about sex. Exuded pure lust. I was fine with it considering I was the benefactor. Greedily accepting the sensations he gave me. I don't even think he finished last night. I don't remember much of it, but I remember my orgasm. Oh fuck, did I remember that. But I also remember him being angry with me toward the end. Getting me off and disappearing like he evaporated from existence. Why didn't he finish when I had already submitted to him? I'm probably overthinking it. Deacon constantly told me how much I overthought things. Questioned the world. Hurt my own feelings. My shoulders slumped down. Just like that, the budding lust from Orion was snuffed out by the wet blanket that was my cheating boyfriend. Pain lashed inside my chest, carving out a piece to toss into the rageful fire brewing in my belly. Pathetic. Daydreaming about a fictional man while my real boyfriend was off fucking my best friend. I took a glance at my reflection in the rearview mirror. Besides, only a man I dreamed up would want someone that looked like me. Maybe once upon a time, I was pretty. But I wasn't anymore. I swallowed my tears. No. I needed to get out of my head. It was such a lonely place to be. I rolled my shoulders, shaking it out. Walking into this diner with tears streaming down my face would definitely not help me. Pulling down my mirror, I touched up my lipstick and concealer over a few of my darker scars. It didn't cover the texture of the warped skin, but from a distance, it helped make them a little less apparent. "Okay. Here we go," I sighed to myself, getting out of the car and locking it behind me. Paying the meter. My heels clicked as I stepped up to the bustling diner. I dug inside of myself, trying to pull up that confidence I woke up with. But soon I heard the first, "Did you see that chick's face?" "Oh my god, I could never go out if I looked like that." "God bless her. Poor thing." I should be used to it. The comments. But I wasn't. Each whisper felt like glass. Thorny tree branches slicing up my skin. Like my scars got torn right open again. I shook my head, trying to forget the dizziness of spinning through the air. Slamming into a tree. Soaking wet but unsure if it was from blood or the storm. The car twisted up like the bow on top of a Christmas present. And the doctors told me my life was a gift as they handed me the bill for my hospital stay. Countless surgeries. The medicine they pumped my mother with which only sped up her death. Charged me for the bed she bled out in. What did I expect when they charged me $535 to treat my agonizing pain with ibuprofen? Yeah…such a fucking gift. I fought the anxiety, the rage swirling inside of me. Squashing it all down. Anger never does you any good, Adira. Opening the door, I straightened my back, resume and application in hand. The hostess stood at the stand, smacking on a stick of gum. She saw me and straightened up, offering a clearly exhausted smile. "Welcome to Maxine's. Table for one?" she reached down, pulling out a clipboard. "We are a little short-staffed today so they'll be a fifteen min—" "I'm not here to eat," I interrupted, tucking my glossy hair behind my ear. "I'm here for the posting." I held up my folder for emphasis. The exhausted smile stretched into a relieved one, "Oh! Okay! Great. I'll grab Sarah, the lead server. One sec!" The hostess ran off to the loud main dining room, reemerging with a petite blonde. When she saw me, she gave me a warm smile and beckoned me to follow her into the back room. I handed her my folder and she looked over it quietly and held the door open for me in the staff room. She wasn't much older than me, probably in her late twenties, or early thirties. A sweet-sounding Oklahoman drawl. Made me wonder what brought her to LA. I was born here and could never understand why anyone would willingly move here. Our conversation wasn't anything to write home about. Quick and to the point. How many years were you a waitress? Can you handle a stressful environment? Typical questions. Also filled me in on their dress code. Wages. All that good stuff. "Okay, well, I'm ready to hire you on. Bill, our manager, is out on vacation, but I'm sure he'll be more than happy to have an extra pair of hands," Sarah decided. "Have any questions for me?" "When can I start?" Sarah gave me another friendly smile. "My shift ends at seven. How about you shadow me? Get a feel for how it works around here? We'll do orientation tomorrow when it's not so busy." I returned her smile, shyly tucking my hair back. "I'd like that." She scooted the chair back and got me an apron, a ticketbook and a pen. I beamed, and for once reality didn't feel so heavy. I felt so relieved. So the first thing I did was take out my phone and send Nova a text. ME: Hey, I got a job! I'll be home around eight. That little diner, Maxine's. Three dots appeared on my screen…then disappeared, leaving me on read. Maybe she's busy. I sighed, tucking my phone into a coded locker so it wouldn't distract me. Waitressing was hard work, but Sarah made it look easy. Bouncing between tables with a friendly smile and excited demeanor. She introduced me to each table and even a few soon-to-be coworkers. Taking the time to explain shorthand to me and various popular menu items. It was a lot to take in, but I knew I'd get it. And Sarah was so fucking nice that the bustling dining room felt manageable. She took the rude customers with ease. Making the nicest replies sound like the biggest fuck yous I had ever heard. Confusing them so much they didn't know what to do. She'd lean over once they left to whisper, "Throw enough sugar at them and they'll still tip." Proving her point when she pointed out the generous tip line with a wink. I liked Sarah. I couldn't wait to keep working with her. The smile fell from my face when the entrance swung open, pulling my gaze to a very pissed-off blue gaze. Messy brown hair. Patchy facial hair. Tall and lanky. My heart jumped into my throat. Hands starting to tremble. When he looked like that…he really scared me. Not that he ever laid a hand on me, but even that didn't absolve the fear I felt. Deacon. Sarah noticed my demeanor change, following my gaze to my boyfriend standing in the entryway, arms crossed. Deacon wasn't a very large man, but somehow he still made me feel small. "Do you know him?" Sarah asked, instantly on edge. "Y-yeah," my voice warbled. "He's my boyfriend." If he was here to congratulate me on my new job, he wouldn't look like that. I didn't even tell him yet I was looking for a new job…which meant Nova told him. What else did she tell him? "I can tell him to leave," Sarah offered. My cheeks flushed. I didn't want to cause a problem. Not on my first day. "N-no…it's okay. I'll be right back." Sarah nodded. "Okay…I'll be here. Got a taser in my purse." Gulping hard, I offered her a sheepish smile and walked slowly toward my boyfriend. He stared down his nose at me, nostrils flaring. "Hey…what're you doing here?" I asked hesitantly. He didn't mince any words. "Are you cheating on me?" I froze. The chatter of the dining room quieted down. Somehow words escaped me. I didn't know if I was cheating. Does a delusion count? But I couldn't say that. "Don't play stupid. Answer me. Nova told me you were out all night. All dolled up," he raised his voice, causing me to shrink away from him. "You've never gotten dressed up for me." "Please. Not here," I whispered, looking from side to side at the quiet dining room, eyes on me. I could feel all of them. "I feel bad for whoever went home with you, Adira. Must've been blind. Doesn't matter. You're a cheater. It's over." My throat bobbed, the fizzing rage spitting up into my system. Hands trembling even more violently. Anxiety shook my shoulders and I could've breathed steam. "You're one to talk. I know about you and Nova." My voice quivered. "How could you do that? After everything that happened to me?" Deacon took a step back from me, vaguely surprised. But the expression didn't last long. He knew all my insecurities and he dug right into them. "It's not my fault I don't find you attractive anymore. I would have ended it a while ago if you didn't cry all the time. It's exhausting." My breath caught, a tear streaming down my face no matter how hard I fought it. I tore my gaze away, using the back of my hand to wipe the tear from my face. To add to my humiliation, Deacon sighed. "Of fucking course. You're so sensitive. I can't even be honest without you crying about it. At least I don't have to fuck Nova with the lights off." "That's enough," Sarah's voice cut Deacon off before he could say something else. All friendliness in her voice was gone as she stepped in front of me. Deacon's lanky frame stood over her, but she didn't budge. "Get out." The hostess chimed in, "I'll call the cops for trespassing if you're not out in the next five seconds." Deacon looked down at me, tears streaming down my cheeks, streaking through my concealer. "Congrats on the job, by the way." Like a final punch in the gut, minimizing my accomplishment. To think I was so proud of myself. He finally seemed satisfied, stepping on me to make himself feel better. And I let him. The door chimed when he left and when I turned around, the diners pretended like they didn't hear the entire conversation. Sarah glanced over at the hostess. "Thanks for the backup, Mia." "I'm not above calling Luis out here to follow him to his car," Mia replied. I shook my head. "No. No. You don't have to do that." Sarah turned to look at me, outstretching a comforting hand and squeezing my shoulder. "Are you okay?" Sniffling, I wiped my face so makeup concealer clung to my hands in greasy smudges. "Fine." She eyed me intently. "You can go home if you want to. Catch up for orientation tomorrow?" "I'd rather stay," I replied. My stomach churned to think about going home and seeing Nova. It was too much for me right now. Especially since she's the reason Deacon showed up to humiliate me at my new place of work. Sarah gave me a nod. "Okay, then. Get yourself cleaned up, take a little break and meet me on the floor when you're ready to shadow. If you're hungry, I'll have Luis make you something nice." A shaky smile pulled at my lips. "Thank you…you're so nice." "I've had a rotten boyfriend or two. I get it." A frown sculpted her voice, but she sighed, shaking her head. I didn't pry. I went off toward the backroom and gathered myself before getting back to work.