chapter 5

Both Colton in my head and his dad verbally, in unison, and I panic that I just spat this out loud. "It was the plan, my intentions. I mean, after my ... the umm … tonight. My turning. I was leaving. Going away and it doesn t have to change." I sound insane. Babbling like a fool with verbal diarrhea and aware of the way all eyes are eating up my weak presentation of my crap contribution. I should have just run when I had the chance and screwed the running ceremony. "That won t break the bond. We ll still be connected, still linked. It will just make us miserable. Don t you see? What happened tonight changed everything, for both of us." Colton sounds deflated and I get the visual of him and Carmen together kissing, right from his head to mine and have to shake it away as insane jealously claws at my insides from out of nowhere, proving his point. Irrational, illogical, but there it is, and he didn t even mean to project his sad thoughts about her my way. "Then what? Because all I am hearing is hopeless submission or death!" My anger snaps, and out of somewhere deep inside, my bravado increases and pushes me to my feet, voice strong and frustration seeping through. An inner surge of tingling electricity as my emotions flare up, and Colton looks at me very oddly. Suddenly stopping and staring insanely into my eyes while furrowing his brow dramatically, screwing up that cute face. "They re not amber." He comes out with the most random reply and I blanch at him like he has two heads and no idea what he s talking about. "What?" I stammer as he paces towards me. "Your eyes ... when your inner wolf peaks. They re not amber. They re red. No one has red ... we all have amber." He stalks towards me, grabbing my hand and spinning me to him so he can inspect me closely. "Show me," he urges, and I gawp at him in bewilderment. Confused at the side-tracking of this conversation and feeling like I just fell through a reality hole. If I knew how to do it on command then I would, but as I only transformed for the first time tonight, and have no idea how to call my inner wolf into my eyes again, I just stare at him, completely dumbfounded with the importance of a color. "Why does that matter?" I know that despite the more urgent topic in hand, the Shaman has moved towards me also, and so has one of the silent elders. A formidable tall and muscular elder, whose gray-white hair is unsuccessful in lowering his intimidation levels and he snarls my way. "Because you are part white, and now Cole sees red in your eyes. It matters, now show us, or I will make you fully turn on my command and you won t enjoy it." He seethes my way, full-on hostility in his tone, and I shrivel back, scalded and instantly fearful. Colton reacts instinctively at the veiled threat and chaos ensues. In the blink of an eye, he s between me and the elder, growling, eyes glowing wildly, body larger and bristling with tension as he turns to him and huskily warns him off. "My mate ... mine! You touch her ... I will exert my right to maim or kill to protect her. I don t care who you are in this pack!" His tone drops to satanic levels and I recoil behind him, seeing the ripple of spines up his back as he begins to transform aggressively. My stomach hits my knees, making me weak, unsure what else to do as the Shaman intervenes as fear paralyses me to the spot. "See. This is what happens when you delay the bond. The urge gets insane the longer you deny it. The need to protect, the need to be joined. It creates madness. Colton, be still. No one is going to touch your mate without your say so, and we will look at her eyes in time. Breathe and come back to us." He places a hand on his shoulder and gently brings Colton back to my side, lifting my hand and places it on Colton s gently, before patting both and setting us down. The instant spark and warmth generated between us give me all kinds of safe and familiar vibes I ve not known in almost ten years. Not since I last saw my parents alive and home. It seems to do the same to him, as his eyes fade back to brown and he inhales slowly, bringing peace to the aura between us. "His mate holds the key to bringing him calm. Be that now. We need to talk without you both here. Go, the room through there." The Shaman points us towards an adjoining door and Colton grasps my fingers in his tightly, his energy pulsing through mine, and it seems to bring him back from turning. I can t explain it but here, holding his hand, it s the first time in a long time I feel a connection of love for anyone. That sense of belonging that I lost the day my family left me. I barely knew him this morning and yet, here and now, my instincts are that I would die for him if I had to, and the longer this plays out, the stronger this need to be near him gets. It s insanity, and don t understand how this can be, but it is what it is. Colton is part of me now, and I can t do anything about it. While being physically joined causes all sorts of inner sparks and sizzles as tension builds between us and I move obediently as he pulls me with him. We are ushered to the door, hands still entwined, and I follow him closely, the heady need to wrap myself around him worse when we have prolonged contact, and as much as my head tells me to let go, I can t seem to. The growing ache in my stomach and pelvis is getting irritatingly intense, and I am more than aware of how good his skin feels against mine. Our hands are slotted together, warm on warm, and it s weirdly sensual. Colton leads me through to the other room and shuts the door firmly behind us. Still holding my hand and keeping me by his side as he turns to me. He gazes down at our entangled fingers for a long second. Seems like he, too, is telling himself to let go, but he doesn t. We stand stiffly, pulsating energy growing between us as the air thickens and I find it harder to breathe the longer he s this close. Fully aware of him towering over me in all his beautiful muscular glory, hot body and way too good looking. Even his voice does crazy tingly things to me and standing, absorbing his heat, inhaling his unique scent, I get clammy in really embarrassing places. My eyes keep straying to his face, his mouth, his really pretty face and I edge closer absentmindedly, biting on my lip as crazy thoughts about leaning up and biting his, course through my brain alarmingly. I need to cool down and pull this back in. Hormones are obviously well and truly kicking in with his proximity, and I need to breathe a little. "How can I want to kiss someone so badly that a few hours ago I never even knew? I have a girlfriend. Did, have one. My head s a mess." He looks instantly distraught and squeezes my hand in his a little forcefully before reluctantly releasing me and stepping back. Calming my jets as guilt punches me in the stomach and I realize maybe he s not getting as hot and bothered as I am standing here. "This is … insane. I don t know you. How can we …?" He paces away from me, seemingly in turmoil, then past me twice, back and forth and then turns to me again. I shrug at him, unsure what else to say. If I knew the answers, I guess we wouldn t be here like this. I m a little out of my depth and struggling to get this raging fire under control in my pelvis as, what I assume is my libido, finally introduces herself to me and I have to stop checking out his ass as he keeps waving it past me. It s making me all squirmy and uneasy and so sure he can probably tell with a look that I am about three seconds away from launching at him. Shuffling from foot to foot and swallowing hard, blowing out heavily to release this growing pressure in my stomach. "Please tell me you are feeling this, too. That this is not just me?" He stops and frowns at me, his eyes looking a little hazy and intense as he stares at my mouth and almost electrocutes me with the connection. I glance away, face flushing with his effects on me and try to focus on the floor, the table, a wall, and cool off this huge, suddenly suffocating room around us. I can feel him without touching him, his presence seeping into me and stirring up all kinds of longings and sensations. "I think that s how it s meant to work. We re supposed to want to, you know ... mate." I blush as I say it and look away again, overwhelmed with sudden shyness. Uneasy with this admission, he wants to kiss me, while I m all kinds of flustered, hot, tingly, and itching to slide my hands over that strong, wide chest and … Oh, God, stop. I mean, I do too, want to kiss him, that is. I have done since after the whole imprinting thing, but I just don t think we should admit those kinds of things to each other. Especially when neither of us actually wanted this. And I m finding it really hard to breathe as my lungs constrict and my heart flakes out with him being close enough to inhale, lick, grope ... I really need to get a grip. I pull the neckline of my T-shirt to release the heat coming off me in droves and fan my face to push these insane urges and mental images of him naked out of my head. I want him to kiss me so badly, I can almost taste it. I don t get a chance to give any kind of verbal response or even encouragement. I don t even get a chance to look up or think, and his sudden sweep into me, his fingers yanking my chin up as his lips crash into mine, knock me for six. I m shocked, frozen for a second by the instant lip to lip assault, but as soon as his warm mouth molds to mine, I literally lose all control. I kiss him back, hormones let loose and that craving hunger finding what it wanted after all, with a fever incomparable to anything and get lost in the sweetest tasting pastime ever invented. Now I know what an urge taking over feels like, and my inner wolf pushes beyond any control I have. His lips open mine, tongues meeting for the first time, and I experience my first ever French kiss with a much practiced mouth. I groan, succumb to his expertise as he yanks me into him and crashes our bodies us together intimately. Our teeth clash with sheer ferocity in the devouring way we go at each other and his hand rakes my body, grinding me to him like he can t get enough as I completely succumb. Lust fuels the animals in us and he picks me up under the thighs, his grip bruising my tender skin as he wedges his body between my legs, pulling them around his waist and walks me back so he can jam me up against the wall, to push himself against me fully. He kisses me harder, with a passion that sets us on fire, and I grasp and claw at his shoulders and neck in utter abandonment, scratching, biting, kissing and finding my rhythm and confidence in what he s doing to my mouth. His tongue caresses mine and mentally I blurt insanely … I want you inside me. I m going to self-combust if you don t. Not even sure if I mind-linked, or where this thought even came from, given I m a virgin and never had a sexual urge in my life, but it only seems to make him kiss me all the more passionately. We lose all sense as this bond engulfs us and he grinds into me until my urges reach a fever pitch of heightened horniness and I pant with the effort as my body vibrates and craves his desperately. I wrap my arms around his neck tightly, almost choking him with the way I latch on, devouring him with equal fervor and find my motion, rubbing my pelvis up against what is clearly an erection, a very solid bulge in his pants, as we meet in every way. It doesn t even shame or shock me, instead it fuels my need to strip him naked and get on top of him to complete this union. He feels like the best thing in the world, smells, tastes, touches in a way that drives me insane with need, and I now realize this bond is more powerful than even I gave it credit for. I want him so badly I might actually lose my mind if we don t do this. Grinding into each other, my crotch fitted to his and breathing labored, I experience the real first moments of a building climax, even though we haven t done anything properly. Just the motion of his rough jeans between my thighs, over my panties, his kiss, his hands on me and the feel of him, has me unraveling insanely. I never knew much about sex before today, and now, I literally cannot contain the need to have it with him and might even get my first orgasm without losing my virginity. Colton catches my hand roughly and pulls it above my head, pinning me back against the wall hard, crazily sexy, exposing my neck to him while my arm pulls my long hair back out of his way. I turn my face, knowing what he wants almost instinctively, heart hammering through my labored breathing and tighten my grip around him to keep him close. Sliding away from my mouth to my neck, he licks from the base of my throat and up to my jawline, igniting a wave of tingles and goosebumps that makes me clench my thighs together around him. He groans at the pressure, which shoves his hard-on against me firmly. My core pulsing with need as he focuses on something else entirely. Mark me ... take me. I m yours. Finalize the union. The wanton voice of a girl that I don t recognize begging for release, and he responds with a low growl that stirs everything deep inside me. I want nothing more. God, I need you so badly. Primal urge is no match for common sense, and as his teeth elongate and graze the soft skin of my neck, holding me taut against the wall, fully submissive, angling me in readiness to leave his mate mark on my neck, I moan in pleasure and squeeze my eyes closed at his touch. Holding my breath as I wait for the one thing that will calm the insanity in this need between us. A transference of blood and sex will unite us for life. Bearing marks that tie us together will show everyone we re bonded. I tense and exhale as his hot breath and soft mouth nestle on the naked skin near my jugular and a sharp graze presses against the pulsing spot of my throat. A tiny inkling of piercing points pricking into the first thin layers, fully ready for the biting pain I know will probably come, but so close to self-combustion that I think it might make me climax. I dig my nails of my one free hand into his shoulder, clamping onto him brutally in sheer ecstasy and swell with the transference of the pleasure he feels as it consumes me too. Seems he likes a bit of pain. An almighty high-pitched screech assaults my senses and shatters glass in the room around us in dramatic mini explosions, combusts inside my head so crazily painfully that I snap my eyes open and scramble to claw my palms over my ears, yanking them from him. Colton s body tenses and he releases me clumsily. Dropping me to my feet in alarm that has us scrambling to shield our ears in unison, brains shuddering with the excruciating squealing whine on our elevated senses. Colton bristles into half turning, teeth, claws, and face changing, as his protective instincts make him ready to fight and poised to protect me. Turning on the source as he tries to stay upright, and I crumble behind him to the floor in a useless heap. Clutching at my head to drown it out before my brain actually pops. "How could you?" Carmen wails, so insanely tonal it s like a dog whistle and things on the shelves in the room vibrate as she keeps that infernal noise going. It dawns on me that this is one of her gifts. She can shatter with high-pitch frequency and I clutch my ears in alarm as she howls louder. Colton somehow seems to be more able to battle it and attempts to tackle her into the hall, to try to stop the ear-piercing noise. It s insanely painful. "You said you loved me!" She screams at him, pushing back to get at me, losing her sanity and going for the kill. Her eyes glowing brightest orange as she loses all self-control as her nails elongate to full-on wolf claws and her teeth peek. He changes from pushing her out to dragging her away from me and wrestling what is a mid-transforming she-wolf. "I did ... I mean, I do. I don t know what I m saying. Calm down, Carmen." He picks her up from behind, covering her mouth with one hand harshly, pressing until she relents on a gasp of air and turns her around, before pinning her to the wall to restrain her and get control. The tone that dominates, the one none of us can fight, comes out of him ruthlessly and reminds me why all should be afraid of the Santo Alphas. "Stop it now! And stop screaming!" He growls at her devilishly, and even though I m not saying a word, I instantly slam my mouth shut, too. Instant feeble submission because he Alpha-toned us and there s not a lot you can do about it. She quiets instantly, falling into utter silence, relief immediate, but my ears are ringing in the aftermath and I am so dazed I can t immediately get up. As I finally scramble myself to my knees to try, the door bursts open and Juan storms forward, half-man, half-beast, semi transformed in a ripped shirt and jacket, ready to take on the intruder, and stops dead in his tracks. The elders and Shaman hot on his tail in a similar state of urgency, and they all gawp at the scene before them. "What s going on? What happened?" he commands snappily, enraged, and I sink into the corner once more, huddling into a ball and wishing myself a million miles away from all of this. This just can t get any worse. "Your son was in the middle of marking that … that reject! MY mate has betrayed me!" She wails again in desolation, and I feel every single angry glare turn from her to me and then Colton as silence deafens us all.