  Jas&quot; pov
  I can't appreciate everything I did, especially the way I hurt El. I didn't mean to hurt her, and I hope she understands that. I hope she's okay, and that she won't ignore me despite everything I've done to her. Every time I'm with her, I have a relaxing time, and that is precisely my problem.
  Everything has a limit for me; I shouldn't be excessively joyful or sad. I don't know how to live a regular life anymore, especially since that it has affected the people I care about. I'll avoid harming myself as long as I can because I still want to see and be with the people that care about me. It was very difficult for me to not want to be with them; I wanted to be joyful throughout my time with them, but I couldn't because everything would turn to grief. It's the same thing that's going on between El and me.
  I couldn't explain everything to her because I wasn't experienci

  Ivan's pov
  I went to the kitchen to allow El and Jas some space to talk, but the pain in my chest didn't disappear. I'm not sure why, but I get the impression they're more than friends. Even though they said they were only friends, I'm not sure why I feel this way. I have a suspicion that Jas is the reason I saw El in such a condition, but I don't have the valid right to ask or hit that man for hurting El because I lack sufficient evidence and because I am not El's boyfriend for jealousy. I'm not sure if we're friends, so I'll remain silent for the time being. Also, it appears like El and Jas are getting along, because if my suspicions are accurate, she will disregard and be upset with Jas. I'm confident that El will not allow herself to be hurt, and that she will forgive those who have.
  I'm thirsty, so I drink some water. They converse for a long time, seemingly oblivious to the f

  El&quot;s pov
  "El, you must eat; if you do not, you will become considerably weaker."
  'That was the first word I heard from Ivan when I woke my eyes and mind.' I have no idea what time it is, and I don't think I've had enough sleep. My eyelids are still too thick, and I can feel my body heat. If I was cold before, I now feel like I'm running a fever. I still have class today and it's a big loss to me when I'm absent. Ivan was also correct in saying that if I didn't eat and didn't force myself to get up, I would become much weaker. I had to force myself to stand up, and he assisted me in sitting down. I leaned against the bed's headboard before turning to face Ivan.
  "Can you tell me what time it is?" I asked. I also saw that he was dressed differently than when he drove me here to the apartment.
  He answered, "It's 7:00 p.m., and I've been trying to get you up earlier, but you do

Jas&quot; pov
  I can't appreciate everything I did, especially the way I hurt El. I didn't mean to hurt her, and I hope she understands that. I hope she's okay, and that she won't ignore me despite everything I've done to her. Every time I'm with her, I have a relaxing time, and that is precisely my problem.
  Everything has a limit for me; I shouldn't be excessively joyful or sad. I don't know how to live a regular life anymore, especially since that it has affected the people I care about. I'll avoid harming myself as long as I can because I still want to see and be with the people that care about me. It was very difficult for me to not want to be with them; I wanted to be joyful throughout my time with them, but I couldn't because everything would turn to grief. It's the same thing that's going on between El and me.
  I couldn't explain everything to her because I wasn't experiencing normal feelings. I didn't want to come to the point where she blamed herself again because I was

Chapter 21