Chapter 15

The Hamptons is as dull as I thought it would be and Mico is like my parasitic shadow. He never lets me out of his sight no matter what reason I give him for going out, even for lady's products; he still stands right there, three feet away as though I'm going to crawl under the tampon shelf and make an epic escape. Alexi left after that night and I haven't seen him since. He was gone when I got up. and it's been five days with absolutely no word from him at all. Not that I should expect word as he never told me he would contact me, and after he left, I am certain I don't want him to. I don't ever want to see him again after what he did to me and the furthest away I can get from him, the better. I feel nothing for him right now, except hatred and loathing and if I never saw him again, it would be too soon. I haven't abandoned my plan of running. I withdrew as much money as I could every day for the last four when we stopped at the cash line and concealed it from Mico, the nosy bastard that he is. I swear now he is the man I have to deal with, and he actually talks, I am starting to see he is as bad as Alexi for his need to know everything and bossy self. You can tell they are related. Using my own account, not the credit card Alexi left for me to use on food and bills, I have managed to squirrel a decent amount away. I've packed my money in the lining of my handbag and sewn it in along with my passport, so if Mico looks he will find nothing. They don't even know my passport is in my real name, so I have always kept it concealed. I aim to run first chance I get, and I don't care where I end up. I have a baseball cap in my bag to be able to cover my telltale hair, and I am literally just waiting for that opportunistic moment that Mico lowers his guard. I am always watching for it. He's taking me to the wine store to stock up Alexi's cellar this afternoon, seeing as the group of five security, that he doesn't think is overly excessive at all for one little woman, has been boozing out the last few nights from boredom and it is running low. I want some bottles of red to kill my nights if I am stuck like this for a prolonged length of time. I might have to get drunk enough to attempt a climb from my bedroom to escape at this rate, as Mico is bloody relentless at guard duty. We walk into the wine shop and I immediately run for cover behind the nearest shelves when I spot a very familiar blonde head, perky little frame and bubbly tone two aisles away and almost thrust myself into a crate of bottles in a panic to avoid her. Surprise hitting me hard and self-preservation kicking in. Mico looks at me like I have lost the plot and then his eyes scan the shop and a smile breaks across his face. ''Arrick … Sophs … hey cuz.'' He wanders forward and I glance around to see if the blonde really is Sophie Huntsberger, like I fear. Peeking out from my spot I catch sight of her turning and greeting Mico with a hug, fully entangling her petite frame in the hulk of a grizzly bear. I almost forgot she is a part of the Carrero family that all live here, and I presume the tall handsome one with her is the Carrero she is living with, Arrick. I remember the name from that night Tyler's men held us captive. I guess they are living their happily ever after still, and she looks good. Healthier, happier and it churns up another bout of guilt for what I did to her and I push it aside. Sophie didn't deserve the shit I threw at her. She was more of a revengeful knee-jerk reaction to liking someone. I got petty, pushed her away for fear of giving a shit. I watch safely from afar, cursing my luck at walking into the one girl in this place who would know who I am and last time she saw me broke my fucking nose. Okay, so I deserved it after what I did to her, and I do still feel a little bit shitty for trying to screw her over and drug her into a night of rape at one of my client's hands. Sophie was someone I started to genuinely like, and then I realised that I did and backtracked epically to stop myself from ever being stupid enough to trust anyone. I pushed that girl down a well in a bid to stop my weak arse emotions from the possibility of a real friend. It's obvious the boyfriend is a Carrero, it's written all over him. He's fairer than most with sandy hair yet brown eyes and a softer jawline, but he's related to Alexi alright. Stance, muscular form, quick smile and those straight eyebrows over eyes that can turn from charm to glare in a second. I can hear him talking and he has that same husky depth to his voice like Gino and Alexi do. An unmistakeable sexiness that not all men have, and I guess the Carrero genes are strong and the family resemblance is crazily uncanny. Easy to spot at a distance though, which helps me immensely when dodging people. ''How're things going with you two lovebirds?'' Mico sounds almost normal when faced with family, and it's probably the most I have ever heard him say to anyone in such a chirpy tone. He never really speaks. ''Great. Sophie is still at school in fashion, and she's doing amazingly well, we moved in together into my apartment finally.'' The deep voice of a guy who wouldn't be too pleased to meet me face to face. Sophie will have told him how I got her kidnapped after trying to ruin her life so yeah, steer clear of that Carrero. If I remember right, she said he was a fighter, or Tyler did, and I wonder if this is the cousin that Alexi sometimes trains with. I can see the appeal although he looks incredibly young. I'm not into boys and college prep boy smiles. I like men with a little maturity and age, but he's a good match for Sophie. She has a young childish look about her and I can see how they gel. Barbie and Ken of the Hamptons. ''Aww well done, always knew you would do well Sophs.'' Mico sounds almost human. ''Thanks. How's Mandy? Are you still seeing her?'' Sophie's sweet almost childlike voice is all sunshine and smiles, so unlike how she was when I knew her. She sounds happy and it makes my gut ache in envy. Peeking again, I can see her boy has his arm slung around her shoulder protectively and is holding her against him in a way that makes it clear this is the love of his life. He's handsome, in a less appealing way than Alexi, and strong. Looks like he would protect her to the death if he had to. I don't know what that must feel like. No one has ever loved me, not even my mother who was biologically built to love me. She used to scream in my face almost daily about how I ruined her life and drove her to drink and drugs. Every time she pounded a fist into my face in rage for something that upset her, she told me how it was my fault that she got mad and lashed out, if only I would be good and stop angering her. I honestly do not know what love is supposed to feel like and watching them now just makes me feel incredibly jealous and hostile because I know the reality is that I will never find out. Turning away and biting on my lip to curb the surge of emotion that wracks my heart and chest, trying to shake free these stupid emotions that Devil Carrero inflicted upon me and then I realise how close to the door I am. It's like being shaken to sense and suddenly I am very still and silent as my brain catches up with the program and I glance around to double check. Mico is talking, I can hear him, and he has his back to me, distracted with Sophie and her boyfriend. It's that little window I have been waiting for, an opportunity presenting itself, and I can't believe my luck. It literally just fell on me by chance and all thanks to Sophie. The girl really is great at saving my bacon. I rummage in my shoulder bag, pull out the cap without hesitation, knowing I need to take my chance before it's gone. I quickly roll my hair up to stuff inside as I pull it on my head. You have to be fast, take whatever chances come your way and always ready to go at the drop of a hat. Glancing back to check that Mico is still occupied I can see he's still not looking this way. I put my bag over my head to cross my body, so I won't drop it and take a long deep steady breath to calm my nerves. I'm ready, I can do this. I need to just swallow and go. I close my eyes, count to five and then step away and head straight for the door. Adrenaline boosting and chest pounding. Don't look back, don't hesitate, just open the door and leave. Just go. I walk as fast as I can, glad the door has no sound when I open it and slide out into the street blinded by the sun. So quickly and jerky, my movements made in fear as it overtakes me. I cut left so I don't cross the window of the store, and as soon as I am out of view, I put my head down and run like the devil is on my arse. *** I literally feel like I have walked the streets of the Hamptons for days, alone and afraid, and yet it's only been hours. I have never felt so distraught and sick with regret in all my life. I have walked in circles and gone through a million doubts and emotions in the meantime and feel completely ravaged mentally. I got to the bus depot not long after I got away from Mico, and then lost my courage when I saw two boys who could have been Alexi's brothers at the terminal and realised I am in the land of Carrero. They all live and breathe around this part of the world; word would fly fast about wherever I was heading. I mean there are not many harlot redheads in this part, and I stand out like a sore thumb. Five foot six, slender with large breasts and a trim body, red hair, pouting red lips on a pretty attractive face and dressed head to foot in designer black, figure-hugging tailoring and highheeled boots. I am hardly easy to hide even with a mismatched baseball cap. I tried to track a flight out of here, but it's only a small private airport and getting a plane is like trying to get blood out of a stone. Alexi would trace my flight easily as they all pretty much go to JFK. From there I would then need to get another flight and risk hanging around in the city being trailed by CCTV. I know he has the means and I wouldn't put it past him to fly after me and make my life a living hell for running away. I literally have nowhere to go, nowhere to hide now reality and logic have set in and I realise how stupid this little adventure really was. His reach goes far beyond this city and this was the dumbest idea I've had since sleeping with him. I'm sat in a park, on a swing, and just staring at the ocean in the distance until it gets too dark to see much without the light of the streets. Hoping to find calm in the sea and the waves to still the crushing panicking beat of my heart and nerves. I don't know what to do, and the reality is I have no one, nowhere to go and nowhere to hide. Victim of my own designed circumstances. I have been alone my whole life, never had anyone to care or watch out for me … until him. The man I hate with a passion because he takes delight in my pain, and yet he's the first person who gave me a glimpse of what secure feels like. He gave me a home and a job and stopped other men from touching me; as fucked up as he is and how much of a controlling arsehole he can be, he's never touched me against my will either. I can't say that about any other man who ever came near me. Prick Alexi is the first man who actually gave me some sort of respect and responsibility, even if it was only running his club. I'm already running from one monster that haunts my dreams and my life, makes me check behind me at every turn and watch over my shoulder in case he might be lurking. Running from Alexi will be so much worse. Rick was a small-time pimp with a violent personality and paedophilia tendencies. He hated to lose, but he never had the means to find me or the cash to follow me. Alexi has both, and the power to do so much more. I won't just be running from some evil narcissist with a bad temper and a hate at being fucked over by a little girl. I'll be running from a mob boss I still owe a shit load of money to, and he will not like that it makes him look bad. Being defied, disobeyed and made a fool of. His reputation will be on the line and he will make an example of me. It's so much worse and I was stupid to not think all this through first. I have to go back; I have to walk back to that house and beg Mico not to tell him because I am terrified of what he will do to me. If he goes apeshit over me picking my own dress, I cannot even imagine what he will do to me knowing I ran away. It's a betrayal, even if he says he doesn't trust me, and in his eyes, he owns me. I just threw all that back in his face. No matter how much of a sadistic prick he is, he demands loyalty, and no matter what I feel, I owe it to him—he saved me more than once, and despite the emotional hell he inflicts upon me, he has sheltered me from a life that was killing me. He gave me a new start, a sense of purpose and something to be proud of, a job, home and responsibility. I'm praying Mico has been looking and not told him for fear of repercussion; maybe if I get my arse into gear and go home, I can make a deal with him to not let it go any further. I will literally let him fuck me to keep this secret from Alexi. I'll suck him as much as he wants and however many times just to keep this quiet. I left my phone at home this morning like I do every time I leave the house, so I couldn't be tracked, and now sitting here I realise I can't even pave the way and soften the return. Mico seems like the kind of guy who will give me a slap, if not more. I haven't seen him push anyone around, but he has that violent vibe. Although, saying that, so does Alexi ,and yet he's never hit me and I know he never would. He just uses other means to hurt me. I know I have no choice in this at all. It's a clear-cut decision—remorse and beg for forgiveness OR ultimate painful death. I get up and will myself to turn towards the road and head towards the direction of Alexi's house. It's about a thirty-minute walk or more, and if I don't go now, I will end up sleeping out here and probably decide to throw myself in the ocean as it's a far better choice than any of the other options. I have zero courage and yet my legs start aiming homewards. If I can call it that. I'm wracked with anxiety and terror, shivering because I am both cold and scared, and I paste on a determined look in a bid to convince myself that it's all going to be okay. Alexi won't just put a bullet in my head for running scared— will he?