Chapter 13

When I arrived at my apartment, I immediately made a hot chocolate, and as I finished sipping it, the cold I had felt vanished, so I quickly showered. Then, as a meal, I prepared rice and canned tuna. This is how to survive life without a companion or parent; instead of taking a break after school, you will prepare your dinner. I also miss my aunt's cooking in the province, as well as the service I had when I was there before. I did not receive any nasty or cruel behavior while staying with my aunt and uncle.They treated me as ifI were a real child, as well as their children; I was treated as if I were a real sister, so I can't say I don't miss them now and again. I ate fast and hurried straight to my room because the rain had become really heavy and was now accompanied by thunder and lightning. My room is modest, but it is perfectly adequate for me. There is only one bed, one cabinet, and one study table in my room. There is a light bulb in the ceiling and a window in the room that is hidden behind a heavy curtain, but I have not opened it since I moved in. For me, the light from the lamp shade is sufficient because I prefer a dark room to a bright one. I'm not sure why, but I prefer to be in a dark environment since it makes me feel calm and relaxed. Aside from the darkness, I enjoy silence because it provides me with strength and allows my brain and body to rest. In the midst of my thoughts, I decided to check up my Facebook. I'd like to see if Jas has already confirmed me, and I also want to experience someone chatting using my account. Since I created this account I have never chatted with anyone so I also don't know the purpose of this account then but now the purpose of this is to contact my auntie in the province. In fact, I'm still learning how to utilize this program. I checked the notifications as soon as I opened it. I didn't receive any notification that Jas had accepted my friend request, so I went back to his account and checked it again, but I still can't see his postings. I'm not sure why, but Baki popped into my head. She had previously stated that she knew something, and I was curious as to what it was.I have a feeling she already knows about the phony issue with Ivan and me, and I'm hoping she'll keep her word and not tell Jas about it. Despite the fact that the situation between Ivan and me is untrue, I don't want Jas to know. A head chat flashes on my phone screen while I go through my newsfeed, telling me that someone has messaged me. Because my internet connection was a little unstable, no image appeared on the icon, and when I opened it, I just recognized who it was. Gil, Ivan (Hello, please look after the umbrella. It's a gift from my mother. HAHAHAHA. I'm kidding.) (But be careful you will return that to me. *then let's talk about 5 minutes HAHAHAHA) (Oh my God! HAVE YOU SEEN MY MESSAGE? Is it legit? I've seen by my crush! How to calm down?) (Hey, I"m just joking! Don't block me, please! #begging) Should I reply him? Why is he act like a childish? Maybe he lacked the care of his business minded parents. (Omg! My crush is now typing!) I wasn't expecting him to behave in this manner. At school, he thinks he's fabulous, but on social media, he act like a kid. Is this his method of getting my attention?What the hell! I didn't know What i'm going to respond, so I let him leave. I resumed scrolling through my newsfeed, but he began chatting with me again. (I apologize for bothering you. When I missed call the day before yesterday, it's not me, I promise. It was my cousin who did it. He's just making fun of me. Did he bother you? Did he irritate you? I apologize profusely.) In part, I was mistaken in thinking I was annoyed with him when he missed a call. He wasn't the one. Is it true that you should not get upset with someone without understanding what their side of the story is because you might hurt them? I'm grateful that I didn't rant throughout that hour and kept my irritation to myself. I was ready to respond to him when he sent me another message. I was afraid of appearing disrespectful if I didn't respond, so I sent him a short message. Despite the fact that he caused me a headache, I felt guilty. He was taken aback by my reply and instantly typed something for me, so I waited to see what it was. (Is it real!? I don"t know what to say, I'm speechless.) I typed a reply. (You don"t have to say anything. Kbye, I'll just give your umbrella when I see you.) I stalk him on Facebook just to see what he's up to. When I clicked on his profile photo, I was taken aback by the number of reactors he had. He has a ten thousand reactor, and his photo gets a lot of comments. Is he that well-known? It appears that he is not the only prominent and well-known student at our school. He also appears to have admirers from many schools. Well, definitely he's really has a good features. He was neither skinny nor chubby. Her skin is flawless and she is tall. On his face, everything seemed wonderful. I don't have anything negative to say about him, but his demeanor is the polar opposite of his physical appearance. I know that he has a good side also, but I don"t feel the same with the girl who admire him. Maybe because I like someone else so no other man gets my attention. He has a new post, and despite the fact that it was only two minutes ago, he already has 200 reactors.As I read his most recent post, I bit my bottom lip. (Still can"t believe we have a convo of my crush!Shout out to you, young lady! Accepted friend request from you cutieee!) That was his post and when I opened the comment section, many were asking him. When I read some of the comments, I began to wonder what they would say to me if they discovered that I was the person their idol was referring to. (Who"s that lucky girl?) (Girl, you are lucky to Ivan!) (That's gorgeous for sure!) (She"s so lucky to you, Ivan.) (Step aside! I'm really the woman he's referring to.☺) (I hope I'm just that girl! HAHAHA No courtship, wedding right away. Rawr!) (Crush reveal! For sure that's beautiful!) I stop from reading and I don"t know how to feel. I don"t want to be involved in this issue.He has far too much media attention, and I'm sure a lot of people will recognize me. I'm sure they'd be unhappy if they found out I'm the girl he's talking about. They'll think Ivan has a low standard when it comes to girls. In comparison to other girls, I am not sexy or attractive. I am a simple person who values academics above all else. Why me? What did he see in me, and why did he choose me? I went into my account and looked at the friend requests, and there was his account.I declined his request but he was able to follow my account and that's what I can't delete.I did it to avoid revealing my motive to him since I didn't want him to value me. I believe he has a nice heart; I was simply annoyed with him because I didn't like what he was doing, but now I see that it was possibly his way of expressing and expressing his adoration for me. I'm not sure why, but he has a new post on my newsfeed, even though I didn't accept or follow his account. I'm not sure how to react after reading his most recent post. (She declined my friend request:<) I gasped as I turned off my data. I stopped reading the comments area of his post because I knew I was just going to read things that would hurt and drag me down. Is it too much for his feelings that I declined him, or did I do the right thing? I just want one, since I don't want him to be focus on me.

• ••

It was eight o'clock in the morning when I awoke the next morning. I was too lazy to get up because it was still raining. I stayed in bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about what a delicious breakfast.My daily routine just kept repeating itself. I found it tedious at times, but I had to keep going for the sake of the future. I checked my phone and my blood was instantly rejuvenated because of Jas's text message (Good morning, El.I'm going there,are you free? I just remembered that your schedule today is night classes.) As I read his text, I was taken aback. I'm not sure how he'll get here. Is he oblivious to the fact that it is now morning? (Good morning too, Jas.Yes, I"m free today, but it"s morning now, Jas. So how can you come here? You"re not allowed to go out whenever there is a sun isn't it?) I replied. He seems to have forgotten his illness but that is impossible. Is he drunk? But how could he get drunk if he was not allowed to drink? What is happening to him? Maybe he was just kidding me. (Who says thatI'm not allowed to go out now? HAHAHA SEE YOU!) What does he mean? As in? Is he going here? Right now? What if his condition is put in danger again because of me? I can't handle that anymore so I have to stop him from coming here.Is he on the verge of losing his mind? I got out of bed right away and stood up. I exited the room and proceeded to brush my teeth at the sink. Because I was rushed, I did not change my clothes. I'm concerned since Jas doesn't appear to be kidding and appears to have lost his faculties of reasoning. I returned to my room to get a jacket and then grabbed the umbrella Ivan had lent me. I didn't anticipate to be out of balance because I was still adjusting my sandals when I opened the door. Instead of falling to the ground, I slammed with something scented. I immediately altered my position when I saw who he was holding my waist to support me. I stuttered, "W-why are you here?" I couldn't look him in the eyes. He was the one who grabbed my waist for the first time. Embarrassing! "I told you, I will come here.Why? You don't care for my being here, do you? He turned away from me and said, "All right, I'll just go home."By gripping the end of his hoodie jacket, I was able to swiftly halt him. He turned back to face me, but I didn't release grip of his clothing. "Why are you're still going home? You've made it this far alive, so come in side." I brought him inside after I said those word. He didn't fight back and simply shut the door behind him. We sat on the sofa, and I instantly looked for any abnormalities in his body, but there was no sign of his rashes or even redness. Is he no longer in any discomfort? He didn't look at me when he asked, "Why do you seem irritated that I'm here?" He had clearly noticed my earlier demeanor. I start to explain my side. "I"m not angry, Jas. I'm just worried for you. I'm sorry if you felt that way. I didn"t mean it. " He still wasn't looking at me so I held his face so he could turn his gaze to me. As he looked on my eyes, I said this, "I"m sorry okay? I'm not really angry. I was just afraid that your life might be in danger again because of me." I promised myself that I would never leave him and that I would not repeat what had happened to him because of my stupidity. And if that just happens again, I don"t know if I can handle my conscience.He hugged me without saying anything. "Don't blame yourself ,El," he said. "It's not your fault. Don't put too much thought into it. Protect your inner serenity," he added. I hugged him back and I felt his warmth. I can smell his manly scent, and it's nice to be hugged now that it's cold outside. I can feel he cares about me by his hug, but even if he begs me not to overthink, I can't help myself because that's how my brain works; it's out of control, and I can't handle it without medicine once I'm in a state of breakdown.