The Jerk

Holding my chin, I handed Harris one glass of coffee. "Here you are!" "Hey, did the sun rise from the west? What's wrong with miser?" After a sip of the coffee, Harris teased rather than thanked me. I looked at him with dissatisfaction. "Come on! Don't make me regret my treat!" Instantly, Harris beamed. "Out with it. What can I do for you..." "Is my intention obvious?" I rubbed my cheeks with confusion. I thought I had hidden my emotions well.  Since Harris had said so, I became candid. "I want to know how to get the samples for a paternity test without alerting the people in question." Harris leaned over and whispered, "Kelly, be frank with me. Are you pregnant?" I stared at him with my eyes wide open. "What?" "You're pregnant but not sure if Carroll is the father of your child, so you need a paternity test."  Nonsense! I snatched the cup of coffee from Harris and said, "I should treat the dog rather than you. How bad you are to ruin my reputation! "No wonder you don't have a girlfrie