Chapter 14

ETHAN. May's in my arms, fast asleep. I've never quite noticed how small she is. How beautiful and peaceful she looks when she's asleep. Her lips are parted slightly, and her hair falls over her forehead. I brush back the dark strands and she leans into my fingers, murmuring something in her sleep. With little effort, I lift her off the couch and walk her to her bedroom. I consider taking her to mine for a split second, but I discard the thought in a heartbeat. Not my room. She has no reason to be in there. I lay her down in her bed and she nestles in the covers, letting out a breathy shaky sigh. *You make me feel warm too, May.* How could I have said that? I meant it, and that is what scares me. Seeing her in the arms of another man today destabilized me in a way that it shouldn't have. I couldn't function. I stared at her, unaware of my surroundings. Unaware of anything else. And when I couldn't take it anymore, I returned home and immersed myself in work to get rid of my thoughts. She calls him her brother, but any man would have seen it in his eyes when he had pressed her knuckles to his lips. The desire. The longing. He had no right to look at my wife that way. Only I did. An unusual possessiveness blanketed itself over me, threatening to take control of me. Threatening to make me walk over to where May had been standing and yank his hands off her, no matter that there had been nothing sexual about the way he held her. I'd spoken to Jared about it and he had laughed at me and said she was starting to grow on me. That can't be right. How long does it take for feelings to develop between a man and a woman? I wouldn't know. This is my first real relationship anyway. **** "Oh, and she said he was gay." May bursts out laughing the next day while she dices ingredients to make breakfast. I don't laugh. Because I refused to let yearning and feelings get the better of me, that happens to make me gay? "I'm pretty sure whoever he is, he isn't gay." May looks up from the knife in her grasp, and then she releases a string of giggles that I find oddly cute. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying too hard to dismiss it. Might you be a billionaire in secret? Jeff is." I'm seriously starting to not like this Jeff person. I wave my hand in dismissal. "I'm just saying it's unfair that you arrived at that conclusion. It really could be anything else. Relationships require a lot of...attention, time and dedication to build and maintain. Time that a businessman of that caliber barely has. That could be why." It's not that I've not had feelings or indulged in sexual relationships before. It's that before it becomes anything, I lose interest. It gets tiring trying to find a woman who actually wants to be with you, not because of your wealth, but because she truly loves you. I don't see how that is equivalent to me being gay in any way. Because I'm not. "You returned home late last night," I say after a time, eyes tracking whatever May thinks she's preparing. It looks rather... colorful, but it smells good. "I know, I'm sorry. I just lost sense of time and...I don't even recall much of it. It won't happen again. I promise." I nod and she adds, "I looked around this morning. I think we could get more things for the house. If we had guests over, they'd think we rented out the place for the evening. We have no pictures on the walls. It could be regular paintings...or something we both like. Or it could be pictures of us, I don't know. I want potted plants outside and...just stuff to make it seem more like our home and less emptied out." *Our home.* I like it when May refers to my house like that. I wonder if she'll do that as well when I take her to my real apartment. I didn't bother with the furniture or the decor in this building. It's one of my many assets and I'd only picked it because it was the simplest looking and would no doubt help May feel comfortable. Unlike my villa downtown. "Sure," I say, leaning against the doorframe. "When do you wish to go shopping for it and how much do you need?" "Today." The oil in the pan sizzles as she pours in the peppers. "We'll split the expenses. I'll let you know how much I spent when I return." There she goes again, trying to split the bills. I know better than to argue otherwise. It's an argument I can't win. It'll probably end with her scolding me for being insensitive again. I find that I have come to dread those moments just as much as I dread Granny's anger. May doesn't speak much, however when she does... "And the photos?" She looks up, pushing back a loose strand of hair. "When you're off work, we could take some together. If you're up for it, of course. And if you're not, it is fine either way. We'll get regular paintings. Or whatever you'd prefer." I nod. "How's next month for the gathering?" "Huh?" "The gathering with my family and yours. How's next month for it? Too far? Did your sister and her husband agree to attend?" "Anna will be attending." Her gaze seems distant and her lips pull down in a frown. "And the husband?" "I don't want him to," she says with a breathy sigh. "Did something happen?" Her lips tighten even more. "I'd rather not talk about it. Next month is fine. It's just around the corner anyway." Her gaze rises to mine. "Anything I might need to know before then? Like...what your family is like... anything at all." I shrug. "I'm sure they will come to like you as much as Granny does. There's nothing to worry about. And well, if they don't, it still wouldn't matter. You're my wife. They'll accept that." She turns away quickly to hide her blush, but I can see it tinging her skin. Hell, she's easily the most beautiful woman I know, and she doesn't even realize it. I swallow, walking back to my room as warmth and unease fill me up. I might need to take some time off again. For my own sanity.