Chapter 16 a note saying goodbye

The time is going by faster than I have been counting. It is crawling to two weeks at a rather alarming pace and yet, there is no improvement in Tyler at all. I beg Doctor Cane every day just to give it one more chance. We have been stealing chances and I fear the day that they are going to run out. I am not ready to give up on Tyler. I know that he is in there, he just needs to find his way back home. Each night, as silly as it may seem, I burn a candle hoping that it will help him find the light and step back into our world. Yes, the rambling thoughts of a woman that has almost no strength in her left. Yet, I need to be strong for our baby. I cannot give up on living and I cannot give up on hope. But giving up is a question that we have been talking about a lot lately. The thing is, that day when I found Tyler on the floor, I found his gun only but inches away from his body. The blood was so much that I could not see if he was should or merely wounded from climbing up on the gate of the stall. Yet, before I come to what the doctor found. It is what I found. A note. On the floor, just underneath the chair where he was always sitting, I found his own, and god it breaks my heart when I say it, but he left me a note saying goodbye. Now in front of me is Detective Flecther for what seems to be almost the hundredth time. What he does not know, is that I have been hiding it from him and everyone else. Only Doctor Cane knows about it. Detective Flecther has come to the idea that I tried to kill Tyler that morning. Doctor Cane has come to the conclusion that Tyler tried to take his life. What do I say to all this? It is bullshit. I don t believe any of this, this must have just been an accident. So as Detective Fletcher takes the note that I am now finally making known to him, it scares me to horror as he starts to read it out aloud. "If you are holding this in your hand, and my body is lying lifeless, you will know that the darkness has finally consumed me. I ll be nothing more than a fleeting memory that invades your mind in the dead of night, a passive thought you reminisce back on years from now. Maybe with sorrow. Hopefully with a smile. Don t worry, I ll still be here, existing forever within the memories and experiences we once shared. All of which I m eternally grateful for. Grateful to you and the rest of the world for letting me experience it. Some moments of pure bliss filled with laughter that echoed throughout the night as time flew from our grasps. Others of darkness that seemed to go on endlessly, turning mere seconds into an eternity. It was in those moments that I found life. A constant reminder that I still existed. But it s becoming too much for me now. Those nights full of despair became days, then months, and they will eventually become years. The same despair that served as a reminder that I was alive now taunts me with life. It sounds like I m being ungrateful. Just a whiny little bitch complaining about something so minute compared to all the other problems of the world. I guess I am. How can my sadness stack up against the harsh realities of life elsewhere, where people are being slaughtered endlessly and dying of disease? No homes. No family. I have no right to complain. I guess I m just not as strong as you are. It s said only the strongest, most adaptable survive. So it s only fitting that you live to carry on this legacy. I hope one day you forgive me for being such a burden. For running away from all the mistakes I ve made, problems I created, leaving you to take care of them. It s very selfish of me. But I know you ll be able to handle it. You re stronger than I ever was. Strong enough to shoulder the weight of the world. And keep moving forward. By the time you finish reading this, I ll be gone, but you ll still be here. You ll still have a chance to create the life you want to live. I know it s asking for a lot but I have a final wish. I wish you keep living for both of us. I wish you continue this life and don t succumb to the circumstances of it. Love and give infinitely. Experience all there is to. Chase after your dreams and wishes. Live a fulfilling life for the both of us. Live. Every second we re alive, we have the chance to recreate ourselves. From the second our eyes open and witness the sun radiating above us, we re given a new opportunity to live the life we want to, to become the person we wish to be. We can shed off our old skin and become shells of our former selves. It ll be hard. But you re strong. Kill the part of yourself that you despise. Let the part of you that wants to thrive be born. Do this every day till your former self is nothing but a memory you reminisce back on with gratitude for helping you become a better version of yourself. Live. I could not. I could not let go of the horror that he brought into our lives. He made me a hollow man that sat in a hole and was too deep to come out from. I guess that hole has taken me now. I need to apologize for leaving you to raise the only thing that would give us joy. I cannot give that. I would never be a good father. He has taken my life and I have given one. Please don t let your heart hurt for too long. Move on. Things will get better. I love you, Jenna. If there is anything that you ever remember about me. Then let your heart take this. But on that note. I must go… With that I watch as Detective Fletcher sits back in his chair, I can t even say that I know what he is thinking. His eyes are emotionless as he scans over the note over and over. Then with what can only be said as a rumble from his chest, he starts to speak, "Mrs. Moore. Why would your husband take his life if he had so much to look forward to?" "Detective, that I have been asking myself. Tyler would have never done this. It must have been an accident." He tosses the note in front of me on the table and his voice hitches one tone higher, "If he would never do that, then why the note? It cannot be an accident." He goes quiet for a minute and then looks at me with those dark burning eyes. "Mrs. Moore, what was it?" "What do you mean what was it?" "What pushed you over the edge? Where you tired of him not being here?" I gasp as I hear the very word come from his mouth, he is once again throwing the blame at me. Well, "Detective Fletcher, I have no reason to kill my husband." "Well," he clears his throat as he takes a little piece of paper from his pocket. "This, Mrs. Moore, this tells me different." My eyes grow wide and I fall back into my chair, "Where did you get this?" "Mrs. Moore, I would not be a Detective if I did not know how to scratch around where people would like to keep things hidden." He takes a sip of his coffee and looks at me from underneath the frame of his glasses. "What was it that time? What did they do wrong?" How dare he accuse me of something that was clearly, well, it was not an accident, but how does he dare to walk in my house and disrespect me in this way. So as I slam my coffee cup down on the table, I turn to him with the utmost fury in my eyes. "Detective, I am sure that you shall respect, but I have house guests that shall arrive any moment." Well, of course, I should not have said that for he is yet to continue, "Ah, is it the gentleman that assisted you then?" "Detective Fletcher, if you did your homework, then you would know that the man finds himself in prison." He only but shakes his head at me and with one godawful smile on his face, her answers. "Mrs. Moore, I am afraid to say but the gentleman has been released over a month ago." My heart immediately drops into my shows. Fuck. How could I not know of this? But that is beyond the fact. This man is accusing me of killing my husband. Well, I think it is time for him to be on his way, "If there is nothing else, Detective, I would like for you to leave." But then horror is sent through my body like an icy winter down my spine. "I am afraid that I am taking you in Mrs. Moore."