Chapter 9

"Morning bitches." Bea muttered tiredly, rubbing her eyes. She yawned as she leaned against the locker next to mine while I pulled my books out. I turned to look at her and smiled cheekily. "Morning, lovely. You—" I pointed at her, "—should smile more." Bea narrowed her eyes suspiciously. Then, she glanced at Jade. They shared a look, communicating with their eyes. Normally, I would know exactly what it meant—right now, I was lost. "Jasmine." Bea exhaled sharply, her tone growing stern. She brought her face close to mine, looking me hard in the eye. I inched away, laughing. "Personal space, Beatrice. Jesus—your breath smells minty fresh. Is that new gum?" "Bea..." Jade spoke slowly. She glanced at Bea, concern washing through her eyes. Bea ignored Jade. She placed her hands on my shoulders, holding me still to analyze me. "Are you trying to read my mind?" I laughed lightly, giddiness swirling in my stomach. She ignored me. "Oh—you stupid, stupid, fucker." Her voice was cold and terrifying. I blinked, confused. She pushed me to the side, causing me to stumble slightly. She yanked my locker open—knowing my combination and then started rampaging through my things. "Bea—" I cocked my head to the side as I watched her in confusion. What was she looking for? "What are you doing? Stop—you're making a mess." "Shut the fuck up, Jasmine." Ice cold voice. She was angry. Very angry. I looked at Jade—she only smiled sheepishly. I could see the concern in her eyes. "The fuck is this?" She turned around, holding a bottle in her hands. My mouth fell agape—but I was too dizzy to react the way I wanted to. My heart dropped to my stomach. I reached forward and tried to grab the vile she was holding. She pulled her arm back quickly, keeping the vile away from me. Bea was angry. Bea was really, really, angry. I had seen her angry before—but never like this. There was disappointment and concern in er eyes—but more than that, there was anger. She was feeling many things but the only emotion she was showing me was her anger. Anger that was entirely directed at me. "Bea—" I shook my head slowly, blinking furiously. "It is not what it looks like." "So—what—you're not high as a kite off of codeine right now?" I opened my mouth to speak but shut it. I couldn't lie. She could see right through me anyways. I stared at her. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to calm her down. A few people walking past us had turned to glance over. "Bea—come on." I gasped a breath, trying to grab the bottle from her hands. She was taller and faster, pulling her arm back and pushing me away. I stumbled backwards. "Woah—" two hands were placed on my shoulders to steady me. "What's going on here?" I heard John's familiar voice behind me. John, Shane and Zac stopped walking to see what was going on between Bea and I. Great. Jade cleared her throat, stepping in. She took a step towards Bea and yanked the bottle of pills from her hands before the boys could notice it. She leaned closer to Bea, speaking quietly. "I know you're mad and worried—so am I. Right now, right here, is not a good place to do this." I froze in spot. My chest constricted with shame and guilt. I wanted to cry. As angry as Bea was, I could see the heartbreak and disappointment hiding behind her anger. Oh, I hate myself. So much. I hate myself so much in this moment. Bea shook her head slowly, taking a few steps backwards. She ignored everyone around us, speaking only to me. "You—are not fucking doing this again. Do you hear me?" I gaped at her. I felt like I couldn't breath. I wanted to armadillo into a ball and cry. I am an idiot. I let my emotions get the best of me. I couldn't cope with some stupid feelings. I didn't know how to—and because of that, I resorted to old coping mechanisms. I swallowed the lump in my throat. I could choke on a sob at any moment now. "Guys—" John spoke calmly, hesitant to say anything. "I think you both could use a walk—maybe some fresh air. Maybe." I knew he was trying to help. I appreciated that but it only seemed to annoy Bea further. "Shut the fuck up," she snapped at him, only looking at him for a second before looking at me again. She was glaring. "Does your dad know?" I blinked, slowly shaking my head. I was too afraid to speak. Zac was staring at me intently, concern flashing in his eyes. He tried to keep a blank face but his eyes gave it away. He didn't look at Bea, not once. He looked at me, trying to understand what was going on. "Bea—" my voice cracked. "I—I'm sorry. Please—please let me explain." I didn't want Zac to see me like this. Bea shook her head firmly. "I don't want to talk to you right now." She picked her backpack off the ground and swung it over her shoulders. "You—" she sputtered, not being able to properly express her frustration. "You're—God! You're fucking stupid, Jasmine." She continued shaking her head as she walked away from all of us. My heart cracked. I looked at Jade, at a loss. She offered me an apologetic, sheepish look. "She'll cool down and talk to you." She tried to reassure me but looked conflicted herself. "I—I should go talk to her." Jade squeezed my shoulder softly before running after Bea. I stared down the hallway, watching them disappear. I felt like my body had gone cold. John stepped in front of me, looking down at me with warm, concerned eyes. He placed his hands on either of my arms. "Jas—are you okay?" I looked at him. I opened my mouth but no words came out. I felt like I was choking—like there was a wire around my neck and I could feel a sob threatening to break loose. I shook my head frantically. "I—I need to go.: I barley choked the words out, slamming my locker door shut before literally running down the hallway. As soon as I stepped into the girls washroom, I broke down and started crying.