Chapter 141

Markus's POV While trying my best to keep my tears at bay, I took the shovel from the garden house which I borrowed from the count's gardeners and dragged it across to where my mother is. The shovel was taller than me and too heavy to carry with my own two hands. No one bothered asking me where I'm going to use the shovel, but I was glad that no one gave me their attention like they always do. I was afraid that if they asked, I would broke in tears and even lead into depression. I was trying to help myself get stronger, pushing myself to survive and live, knowing that my mother wouldn't want anything bad to happen to me even if she's gone. I'm sure she wants me to grow into a fine young man someday, pursuing my own dream. I may at least grant her that wish. With my weak small hands I tried to push the shovel into the dry dirt and only managed to sink in a few centimeters of it's tip. To ease the work, I took a pail of water and poured it out to the dirt until it turned soft but not too