Chapter 74

Sleep eludes me. Not that I thought it wouldn't, but it's frustrating just the same. I spend what seems like forever tossing and turning in the bed, unable to clear my mind of anything and everything and rolling myself into a frustrated mess. Up and down like a yoyo. Mood and emotions twisting me up and trawling me out just to do it over again. My bedclothes get so screwed into an unholy mess I end up getting up and fixing them several times, so unsettled and restless that I'm making myself crazier than hell. I can't think straight because I'm so utterly tired, yet I can't clear my head enough to close my eyes and think of nothing at all. It's exhausting and making me irrational and tearful all at the same time. He really has a lot to answer for. Alexi is all up in there in a hundred different ways. Good and bad, I guess. Churning over months of scenarios and shining a new light on meanings and outcomes. Picking apart every conversation we have had since I c