Chapter 13 : Letting Her Down

*Henry* When Samuel and Mae had left, Henry let out a wild scream. The anger and rage he felt inside were starting to spill over. He looked around his office space, so orderly and bland. Just the look of it was starting to set Henry on edge. He couldn't stand anything around him anymore. On impulse, he screamed again and knocked everything off the desk. The lamp hit the ground with a satisfying crack, and the glass from the bulb shattered all over the ground. Henry then moved over to the bookshelf and started pulling books off, chucking them across the room. He ripped open the books and started tearing the pages, doing the best he could to tear books apart at the seams, all the while letting out all of the noises of rage and irritation that had been building up inside of him for weeks. He did his best to rip down parts of the shelves on the bookshelf and continued to do his best to destroy the room to pieces. Destroying the room was Henry's attempt at letting all of the built-up emotions in his chest run wild, freeing them from their cage as he continued to go on a rampage in the room. None of these emotions would help him get Mae back; none of them would help him solve the situation. His muscles started to burn a little, but he pushed through the feeling to keep releasing his aggression. When Henry felt like he could do no more damage to the room, and had built up quite the sweat, he stopped and collapsed onto the floor. Henry's breathing was heavy and deep as he desperately tried to find a solution to his problem. He wanted to talk to his mother and see what she knew about communing with a Moon Goddess. Perhaps he could find answers there. Perhaps there was an elder that he didn't know of in the pack or in a different pack that might know something about mating rituals and how they could possibly go wrong. Henry would not stop asking questions until he found a solution that would allow him to be with Mae. Henry did his best to calm his breathing and center his thoughts around a solution. He realized first things first, if he was going to ask Mae to wait and give him a chance to fix things he had to do the same with Circe. She had been pushing him for a wedding and had seemed apathetic to his suffering in pain, only interested in what she wanted. Something that he could never give her. Henry stood abruptly and went out in search of Circe. He tried to think of the best thing that he could tell her, something that she could not object to and something that would hurt her the least. Henry ran through many scenarios in his mind. In all of them, he imagined Circe putting up a fight and arguing with him until he got too frustrated to continue. He was almost getting too frustrated just thinking about the conversation. Henry tried to calm himself down and think about things more rationally again. Henry thought about his father dealing with his troops and new stations around the perimeter to protect themselves against any attack that Mae's father might send. That would be his excuse. He couldn't possibly focus on a wedding when their packs could go to war. He needed to stand by his father's side to protect their lands. When Henry felt confident in himself and confident in this choice, he began to practice how he would break the news. He hoped so badly that Circe would just accept that she would have to wait to get what she wanted. Though secretly, he knew that if he was successful, she would never get what she wanted. Henry wandered throughout the castle continuing to think and plan out exactly what he would say to her. He searched through all the bedrooms and down the hall, but couldn't find her. He could feel himself getting annoyed because she had always been around, lingering, trying to get closer to him. And now for the first time, he wanted to find her and she was nowhere around. For the first time he actually wanted to talk to her, but where was she? Henry sighed and rolled his eyes and did his best to ease the tension in his limbs. He knew his frustration and anger would do nothing to help the situation. Henry passed a maid in the hall and carefully grabbed her arm, trying not to alarm her or hurt her in any way. "Have you seen Circe, ma'am?" he asked as politely as he could. The woman smiled and shook her head. "I saw Ms. Ivy walk into the gardens earlier. She looked like she was looking for someone too. Perhaps your mate is with her?" the woman offered. Henry forced a polite smile and nodded before turning on his heel and heading back downstairs. Just picturing Circe's smug face and twisted smile made him irritated. He tried to push that from his mind. She would understand; she had to. He needed time. Henry would move heaven and hell if it meant he could be with Mae again. Walking quickly through the house, he went out into the backyard. At first, the whole area looked abandoned; he could see no signs of life anywhere. He wondered if perhaps Ivy had found what she was looking for and had already left the gardens. Henry was about to turn and walk inside when he heard a strange noise coming from behind the trees. It sounded like the short sniffle of a woman crying. He felt a sense of concern perk inside of him as he pictured Ivy crying. Curious and intrigued, Henry moved toward the sound. He walked slowly through the gardens until he reached the edges of the trees and heard another sound coming from his right. He kept walking until he saw Ivy and Circe sitting together. They seemed to be deep in conversation, and neither of them looked happy. Henry noticed quickly that, though Ivy seemed serious, it hadn't been her sobs that brought him here. "Excuse me, ladies. I don't mean to interrupt, but Circe, I was hoping I could talk to you, alone." Henry knew Ivy wouldn't object. Even before she matched with Levi, Henry thought she was an amazing woman. She was honest and loyal and always gave people the benefit of the doubt. "Of course, I'll leave you two to talk," Ivy answered. She exchanged a long and curious look with Circe before standing and walking back toward the house. "I think I'll go see what my husband is up to." Ivy patted Henry on the shoulder before continuing to walk toward the house. When Ivy had reached the patio, Henry turned back to Circe. She was still sitting in the grass and looked as if she had been crying pretty hard. He couldn't recall a time ever seeing her look so vulnerable. Henry sat down across from her, feeling stiff and uncomfortable. Part of him did feel sympathy for her. He didn't bear her any ill will and didn't want to see her suffer, but he couldn't focus on that right now. "Circe, we need to talk…" Henry started. He rolled his eyes at himself realizing he had already stated that and had her attention. He took a deep breath and tried to relax before he started again. "Look, I know you know about all the problems that have been going on." "I know you are still upset about Mae," Circe replied. For the first time, Circe sounded genuinely sorry that he was still suffering so much from what had happened with Mae. He raised a curious brow and then Henry sucked in a harsh breath, thinking about Mae. "No, I mean… yes, I am, but I'm not talking about that. I mean the issues between our pack and the Forest Pack. They are threatening war, and it's looking serious. My match with Mae wasn't just about our love for one another. It was a peace-building opportunity. Our marriage was supposed to unite the packs," Henry explained. Circe looked at him as if this news was horrifying to her. "I–I didn't know that," Circe answered in a low voice. She almost seemed as if just that news was enough to set her over the edge. Henry looked at her curiously, wondering what had happened that has made her act differently today. "It's okay, it's fine. It's not your fault. But here's the thing, I can't focus on this right now," Henry explained, gesturing between himself and Circe. "I can't focus on us, on the pain I feel about Mae and especially not wedding plans until our lands are safe. I know you are desperate for a wedding, but I need you to give me some space. Until we are no longer on the edge of war I can't talk about it, I can't focus on it or start planning the future at all. Do you understand?" Circe nodded, but her eyes were swimming with tears. Henry felt a little panicked. He had tried to sound as polite and reasonable as he could. He expected her to object, to fight him, or argue. But instead, she simply nodded and broke down in tears. He didn't know how to handle that kind of response. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, I hope you understand," Henry tried to offer, but his words seemed to have the opposite effect than he had intended. Her emotions and vulnerability made him uncomfortable, and he couldn't keep looking at her. He turned to the house and wished he hadn't sent Ivy away. "I won't–I won't–bother you… anymore… about it," Circe cried out between sobs. She stood and ran off into the forest. "Circe!" Henry called after her. He felt confused and uncertain about how what he had said could've made her so upset. Perhaps he underestimated how much she loved him and desperately wanted to be with him. Henry sighed. Henry stood there for a moment wondering if he should go after her and calm her down. Part of him felt concerned, and all of him felt responsible for her pain. But Mae's face and his feelings for her pushed their way into the front of his mind again. He tried to convince himself that Circe would be alright, that he couldn't worry about her and her tears right now. Henry needed to start searching for a solution. He started thinking of all the wise people he knew in the pack and in Mae's pack. Surely, someone had the answer he was looking for. Without another thought or glance at the woods, Henry marched back toward the house, more determined than ever.