Chapter 2 2: Blindness

Fareeda heard the door moved, and she moved her hand on the nightstand, looking for her eyeglasses. She wanted to see who it was, maybe Adam was back or as the nurse who had collected her father s number said, they had already called him? She wondered. She didn t find the glass, and she thought for a moment, where had it been? She heard the footsteps, and out of curiosity and fear of what would have happened, who it would be, she spoke first, "Nurse?" There was silence, and she knew for sure it wouldn t be the nurse because if she was the one, she would have answered her. "Who is it? Adam?" She called out again, and she was sit-in upright on the bed now. She could only see their blur visions, it was men, two of them standing while facing her. Moving her palms on her eyes to clear what she knew wasn t there, she still didn t see anything but the blur vision. Where in the world was her glass? Why didn t she asked the nurse to hand it to her when she came for her father s number? "Who it is, please?" She asked again, still not giving up on her search. Where was her bag? Did Adam put the glass in her bag or something? The next thing she felt was a striking slap on her left cheek and not knowing she was at the edge of the bed, she fell. "Oh my! Who it is?!" She thundered, but her whole body was shaking out of fear. Who it is? What the hell was going on and where the hell was her glass?! "It s me! And today I ll make sure you regret ever staying alive in this world, stupid girl!" Alhaji thundered and plucked out the IV that was attached to her body. He used the long tube and rolled it into two, and before she spoke a word, she heard the first slash on her body. "What did you think you just did? How could you do this to me, Fareeda?! How dare you do this to me?!" He had never been this furious all his life, he kept beating her while she moved in all directions and he followed her, it was easier that she didn t have her glass on her, she wouldn t see the hatred he had for her and the disgust all over his face. "What do you think you re doing, Alhaji! What is it? What have I done to you? I m sick, can t you see this for Allah s sake?!" She clamoured and managed to stand up, holding her body that kept shaking with sickness and the way he had beaten her had made it difficult for her to breathe. He strokes the rolled-up tube on her body once more before he cleared the bead of sweat on his forehead. "Are you even asking me? Who s child did you miscarried, Fareeda? And where did you went yesterday for a man that s not married to you to bring you to the hospital?! Is this the kind of life you ve chosen for yourself?!" He roared, and even though she flinched like she did whenever Alhaji was angry at her, she held a stoic expression and cleared the bead of sweat on her forehead, holding onto the wall behind her to support her shaking figure. "What did you say?" She quivered and flicked back the tears that had already accumulated in her eyes. She had to put up with this expression. "You miscarried a baby yesterday! Or did you not understand what that means? Or perhaps you ve been married somewhere without me knowing?" He thundered, slashing more of the tube onto her body, and to her surprise, she didn t feel any pain when he beat her now. She placed her shivering hand on her flat stomach and felt it as empty as it used to be. When did it happen? How could she become pregnant without her noticing? How could she miscarry her baby? She could feel the cloud of agony trying to overshadow her heart. "Alhaji, are you sure about what you re saying? How could it be? How could I lose my baby without even knowing he or she is inside me?" She was finding it so hard not to break down, but she had to be strong in front of Alhaji no matter what it took. He let go of the tube and began beating her mercilessly with his hands, punching and beating her until she fell unto her knees, this time, she couldn t stop herself from crying. She was even feeling dizzy and she knew it would only be a matter of seconds before she out of consciousness. "How dare you feel sorry about the child you lost? What have you turned into? What have you turned yourself into, Fareeda?" He punched her stomach so hard that she screamed at the pitch of her voice and that was when Mujaheed knew he had stepped up, that was his use here after all. "Alhaji," he spoke softly while he took a hold of Alhaji s hand away from her. They both stared at the way she held onto her stomach so hard while she winched in pain, excruciating pain that would be hard not to cry over. "I think you have to sit down and cool for some time. I ll call the nurse to take care of her." Alhaji sat down as Majaheed suggested but he shook his head at the latter. She didn t need a nurse, she deserved to die, a painful death that would make her regret the kind of life she lived before she took her last breath. "No, don t call anyone to help her here, she doesn t deserve to be helped!" He said breathlessly, holding his chest to calm himself down. From where she was crouched onto her knees with both her hands on her lower abdomen, Fareeda looked up to the direction she heard her father s voice came from and also, where she was sure the blurry vision she was seeing was his. She cleared her tears and tried so hard to stop them from pouring down her cheeks, "Of course," she started, tilting her head upwards a little, "I don t deserve to be helped, I truly don t deserve it. The one that deserved it didn t get it how could I? And do you know what, Alhaji? I m so sad that I couldn t bring this baby into this world, I wish I could. Because I don t have any wish greater than giving birth to a baby without being married, so I could present him or her to you and see what you d do…" She let go of her words due to the excruciating pain that seeped into her lower abdomen. She winced for a few minutes before she looked up again, "And do you know what? I m not regretting ever being pregnant. I m sadder that I have lost it. And guess what? If I would be given the chance to, I d make sure I give birth to an illegitimate baby and present him or her to your monstrous self so I can…" Mujaheed didn t know when he moved forward and slapped her so hard across her left cheeks. "Are you okay? Is this the right way to speak to your father? After doing such a shameful act, do you still have the guts to speak at him with such horrible words? Aren t you ashamed of yourself? He s your father, what do you think you re saying to him?!" He thundered. He hated it when he saw children being bad to their parents because these kids didn t know what they had that he didn t have the chance to. Whose voice was she hearing right now? Did she hear him right? Or perhaps she was now hallucinating? It could never be him, right? Whenever Alhaji was in town, he only drove around town with Jibril, and this was not Jibril s voice. "And you, who the hell are you? Please don t tell me it s the one I m thinking of?" "Whoever it is shouldn t be what you should worry about, right now you have to apologize to your father and ask for His forgiveness! What do you think you re doing?!" What did she mean? She couldn t see him or perhaps she had forgotten his face? Fareeda scoffed, still finding it so hard to believe that the voice she was hearing belonged to Mujaheed, there was no doubt it was his voice. She didn t miss the arrogance, the pride and a touch of masculinity his voice always carried. He might have seen her been beaten by Alhaji, but that didn t give him the right to slap her and order her around. Where the hell was her glasses?! Because she needed to look right into his eyes before she told him everything she wanted and reminded him of his filthy position in their lives. He was, but a gateman and that was it! "And who are you?! Who the hell do you think you are to order me around, Mujaheed? Wait, not that, what gave you the guts?!" She thundered, her whole body shaking with pain and anger, she wished she could see them right now so she could strange whoever she laid her hands on. What a waste of opportunity. Mujaheed turned to look at Alhaji and saw that he was painfully staring at her with the most pathetic expression Mujaheed had ever seen. "Will you apologize to him or not? What do you think you re doing, Fareeda? He s your father and if you were a good daughter, you would have been on your knees begging for his forgiveness, not this!" He wished he could beat the hell out of her too, she deserved a painful beating. She threw her head back and laughed breathlessly, she was in pain, tired and wanted nothing but to lay down and sleep. "Forgiveness? Who do I need to ask for forgiveness? Not this him because he s nothing short of a mons…" "Fareeda!!!" Mujaheed thundered, and for the first time in his life, Alhaji saw fear in her eyes. She shuddered silently before she masked up her emotions but that didn t change the fact that she was frightened a few seconds ago. "Learn how to talk when it comes to your father!" He spoke angrily and she didn t know why she couldn t speak back to him. Seeing that, Alhaji smiled and stood up. "I need to ask for a favour from you, Mujaheed, please." His voice croaked as he spoke, disgustingly looking at Fareeda that was still clutching onto her lower abdomen and Alhaji knew it was high time she needed her glass now, but at least she should be in darkness for the time being. He will take away all her glasses and that will stop her from going anywhere. Mujaheed turned to look at him after he had calmed himself down a bit, "I ll fulfil it, Insha Allah. What is it?" He bowed his head down a bit to show his respect. He respected this man, adored him even. "Please, I know she s of no use now, she s a bag full of dirt and disgust, but will you please help me and marry her? It s the only solution I could think of now, and from what I ve seen now, you re certainly the only man that will bring her back to her sense." Alhaji wasn t able to close his lips when Fareeda abruptly stood up and she spoke, "What?! You don t mean, Alhaji?! What do you think you re doing? Begging this gateman to marry me? Who do you think you are to do this in my life! I will never accept this and you have nobody in this world that will make me!" She was shaking, with fear, with anger and anticipation of what would happen. She knew Alhaji as much as she would say she knew the little she knew about Mujaheed. He hated her, she was certain he wouldn t get married to her, would he? Alhaji looked at her and painstakingly shook his head, today his daughter was asking him who did he think he is in her life. What a life he had lived and a daughter he had raised. Mujaheed was just looking at her as she vented out at her father, and after he turned to look at Alhaji, he found him resting on his knees, staring at him with all the plea he could have ever mustered in his eyes. "I know, you have the right to say no, but please don t. I m begging you on my knees, please marry her today." "Alhaji!!!" The whole four walls of the hospital room echoed with her voice. She might ve not seen him clearly, but she knew he wasn t lying when he said he was on his knees. Her, Fareeda Kamal Sardauna, her father knelt before a gateman begging him to get married to her! This is ridiculous. "You can easily get rid of me, you can throw me out of the dungeon you call a house and severe all ties with me, I ve always been wanting to do that but you were so clinging that I had to stay. Do whatever you want to do, freeze all my accounts, make me poor, but don t your selfish self ever think of getting me married to this man, I will never forgive you for this, Alhaji Kamal Idris Sardauna!" Her lips closed right when Mujaheed laid his two palms on both her cheeks. He was infuriated, he had never seen someone disrespect his parent like Fareeda did, and looking back at Alhaji, he was at the verge of tears. "One word, I want you to utter one more word and see what I m capable of doing, Fareeda. You have lost your mind, but at least the people around you are still sane." He turned back to Alhaji and helped him sat up on the chair. "I ve accepted, Alhaji. There s nothing in this life that you can ask of me and I wouldn t do it for you. I ll get married to her, but…" "But what? Do you want a mansion exactly like ours? You want expensive cars and butlers walking around the house? You want a huge amount of money to be deposited in your bank account? But what? Complete your sentence you shameless gold digger!" She shouted at the pitch of her voice and when she saw the blurry vision of him walking toward her, Fareeda didn t know when she shuddered and took a step back, covering her face with her arms in nothing but fear. "I told you to keep your mouth shut, one more word from you and you ll force me to do what I didn t want to. Now, go back to your bed and sit, wallah Fareeda don t infuriate me more!" He spoke through gritted teeth, and surprisingly, he watched as she guided herself to the bed with the help of the wall. What did this mean? He turned back to Alhaji that was staring at them with something he could call amusement, "I told you, you re the only one that could do it." He brought his eyes back on Mujaheed and smiled painfully, "But what?" "I can t marry her now, we have to wait until three months as provided by the Islamic shari ah. We have to wait to make sure her womb is purified, she has to see her blood three times before it is permissible for any man to marry her." He ducked his head down, feeling the weight of his words and he caught the glance of Fareeda through his peripheral view, she was shaking, either due to pain or anger, but he didn t care a bit. Alhaji palmed his face, "Forgive my ignorance, I was so angry to think straight. We can wait until after those months then, Insha Allah. Thank you so much, Mujaheed, may Allah bless your life." Mujaheed silently muttered an Ameen beneath his breath and looked up to Alhaji once again, "And something, please even if I get married to her, I want to keep doing my job and stay in my chamber." "You don t mean…" she started but he cut her off in a breath. "Fareeda!" There was a warning tone laced on his voice and she didn t know how she turned mute. "Is that what you want, Mujaheed?" Alhaji asked with a weak voice because he hadn t thought that Mujaheed will still want to stay as a gateman. "That is it, Alhaji." "Then you will be granted it. Thank you so much." Stop thanking him! She wanted to shout, but something somewhere in her mind was stopping her, and she didn t know-how. Alhaji stood up, "Please help me stay with her, she might leave the hospital if we both leave. I ll call Jibril to come and get me and Nana will bring lunch for you two." He nodded respectfully and spoke, "Insha Allah, Alhaji. Please take care of yourself." He watched as Alhaji walked out of the room with unsteady steps and turned to look at her, she was still fuming. He sat down and silence prevailed in the room. She wanted to speak to him, but she didn t know where she should start or what she would say to him. He could be adamant, that she will tell the entire universe about him. Him accepting this shameful proposal that man did to him, what did it mean? Before Fareeda got a hold of her thoughts, she heard the door creaked a jar and got a blurry vision of someone that looked like a woman. This reminded her, where were her glasses? "Fareeda, how are you feeling?" The nurse calmly asked as she moved to the bed. "I want to die, can you help me do that?" That nearly cracked him up. It would have been easier for both of them if she died, that way he wouldn t have to fulfil the promise he made to her father. It wasn t until he sat back and calmed himself from the anger raging his insides did he realized the kind of promise he made, the kind of proposal he accepted and who was involved in it. He didn t imagine himself married to Fareeda for a single day without him sending her to her grave. "I can t kill you, Fareeda," the nurse chuckled as she returned the IV on her, "Don t worry, no matter what happens, life will certainly be beautiful again." She helped her laid down on the bed and everything before she took the bag she brought in with. "Someone dropped your handbag a few moments ago, and I thought I should bring it for you." "My eyeglasses please, Nurse. Can you help me search the bag for it, maybe it s inside? I can t see without it, and I need to see a shameless face in this room." She said with a weak and tired voice. And her last sentence didn t make sense to Mujaheed, what did was, I can t see without it, and he found himself fixing his eyes on her large white orbs that if he didn t know she was serious, he would think she was lying.