Chapter 13 9: Rays Of Hope

"It s locked, here s the key." She handed him the key and he unlocked the door before he pushed the door open and Fareeda was about to get inside when he spoke. "I don t know what s wrong to have you crying that hard, Fareeda. But if perhaps it s because of what Alhaji said about us, like I said to you, go and apologize to him and I ll call it off." Fareeda listened until she heard the sounds of him walking down the stairs before she closed the door and immediately found her way around her room and put her glass back. What did that mean? After all that happened between her and Adam, she didn t know what to think about anymore. Fareeda stared at her wrist, where Mujaheed held her until he was sure she was safely into her room and when she brought her hand up to her nostrils, it scented like him. She looked for her phone where she left it just when the lights came back and saw that Adam had left her a single missed call and a text. She didn t intend to call him back, so she opened the message and read what he had written. 'I think what you said is right, if not for the fact that I don t love you. I do love you, Fareeda, but maybe you ve never noticed the sincerity of my love for you. But as you said, it s better we part our ways since you re going to get married after all. Thank you for all the beautiful moments we ve shared. I wish you all the happiness you deserve and also love. Adam Lawal Batsari. She felt a thug chugging at her heart. She had silently prayed that he would go against her wanting to break things up with him, she wished he would mend his ways and they would find a way of being together with him. She still loved him ands was sure it would be the same in decades to come. Fareeda felt fresh set of tears as they rushed down her cheeks and she palmed her face, breaking into tears that were filled with so much agony. ? It had been over two months now, but Fareeda felt it as though it was yesterday. Nothing had changed, it strained her soul to the point that she had finally given up on matchmaking Asma u and Mujaheed because Ummah made everything clear to them that even if Alhaji had agreed to change his words, she would never let her daughter get married to a gateman. Fareeda felt so much pain, even though she was certain what she did was the right thing to do, there was also a part of her heart that regretted saying they should part ways with Adam. She didn t think that it would be so easy for him to let go of her. It got to the point that she had to unfollow him on all the social media she could come across him because despite knowing she could see it, Adam had never hesitated even for once to upload his picture together with the girl she had fought with in the club. She had cried an ocean of tears, realizing how painful it had been for her since Adam left her life. How in shambles her heart lived due to the excess love she had for him. And right now as she sat on the resting chair in the balcony, staring down at the vast compound of the mansion, she heaved a sigh. She lived in utter luxury, she had had everything she wanted even though she had never gotten her hands around the vital things her soul needed to survive, she was still thankful. Nana knocked softly on the door before she opened it and walked inside with the tray in her hand. This was the only balcony in the house no one was allowed to come to but Fareeda, it was the balcony that could only be accessed through her mother s chamber. She hardly ever come to this balcony unless she wanted to have peace in her heart, if she wanted someone to soothe her aching soul. She watched as Nana placed the tray and smiled sadly at her, the young girl had been so worried about Fareeda since she noticed how forlorn her life had become two months ago. Instead of Nana to walk out like she did always, she found a sit beside Fareeda and held her hands. Fareeda looked at her and tried to smile but failed at it, "What is it, Nana? Do you need something else? Dahlia has done something to you at school again?" She spoke softly and her voice didn t carry the timbre and melody it used to. It was dull and achingly painful. Nana slowly shook her head, "No, today is Saturday, we don t go to school, Ya Fareeda. Have you forgotten about that already?" She said, the sadness vivid on her face. "Sorry, it slipped off my mind. What is it then? Why aren t you in Islamiyya? It s past time already." The evening was cool and peaceful, she loved being alone but she would rather have the company of Nana than the thoughts always wanting to bring an end to her life. Nana sadly shook her head, "I ve told you that we ve been given two weeks of break on Wednesday, you ve forgotten that too, Ya Fareeda. Will you please tell me what s wrong? Maybe I can be of help." Fareeda smiled and fondled Nana s head, "You re such a darling, Nana. Nothing you can be of help with, but making sure I eat too is a lot of help and I appreciate it," she said and her thankful eyes turned to the tray full of scrumptious snacks Nana was sure she loved. "Whatever it is, if you feel like there s a ray of hope somewhere, don t hesitate to follow it, Ya Fareeda, you might think it won t work out, but there s always light at the end of the tunnel, you shouldn t give up this easily, okay?" Fareeda smiled and watched as Nana stood up, "If you need some help, just call me." "I will, this is enough help already, Nana. Thank you." The moment the door closed behind her, Fareeda sighed and thought about what Nana had said, the only ray of hope she had now was to apologize to Alhaji, she knew even if she did it would just be for a pretense but she hated to even think about it. She picked up her phone that was beside her and called Asma u, "Come and meet me in Mama s balcony, I need to talk to you about something." She stared at the snacks Nana brought for her and decided to take a picture of the view, with the sun setting and the meal, it gave a beautiful view. She posted it on her instagram page with the caption, 'There s always light at the end of the tunnel, you just have to hold onto even the flimsiest rays of hope. She knew she might not have to fully relate to the quote she suddenly created, but hopefully someday, she will. She was halfway into the snacks when Asma u for the first time in her life came into the balcony and she stared down at the entire house. The balcony had the most beautiful view of the house, the sky and everything. Even the coolest of winds. The ambiance alone was enough to calm one s soul. "You called me, what is it?" She asked as she sat down, taking one of the snacks into her mouth. She had noticed about how forlorn Fareeda s life had become, which was so unlike her but she didn t ask because they had never been close enough for her to. She had never even spoken normally to her until the matter of Mujaheed arose. "I think there s only one way out, for the two of us. Me, away from getting married to Mujaheed and you to make him yours." She said softly, not taking her eyes off the view that was in front of her. "What is it? You know Ummah is so persistent, I don t want to do something that will make her even more angry, Ya Fareeda." Asma u said reluctantly, she knew her mother enough to know that she would have to give up on her life before she would let her get married to Mujaheed, like she had sworn already. "You see, there was a time Mujaheed told me that if I don t want to get married to him, I would have to go and apologize to Alhaji for what I did, I d hate to do that but right now I don t have any other choice. Because I ll likely kill myself the day I get married to Mujaheed." "Is he the one going to tell Alhaji that he s no more going to get married to you?" "Yes, and if I want him to believe me it has to be done in front of Nana, she will be the witness. And you now I can give to world to Nana, but she will choose not to lie to him than have it all. I think I ll go and apologize to Alhaji tonight, and after that, I ll tell Mujaheed to tell him that he doesn t want to get married to me but would rather love it if it were you. If Alhaji agrees, which I m sure he will because he adores him so much, Ummah would have little to no control over it. Look, you can convince Alhaji after the marriage to go back to Jordan together with him, continue your studies while Alhaji will find a job for him there, what do you think?" "Will it really work out, Ya Fareeda? I don t want to set my hopes on it after already giving up." "Trust me, it will. All you need to do now is make sure Ummah stay away from Alhaji s living room tonight until I m done apologizing, because we both know she will damage everything if she s there." "And about Mujaheed? To tell Alhaji he wants me instead, I mean." "I will go and talk to him now, you just have to keep on praying his hard skull might be penetrable now." Fareeda said with a soft smile and stood up. The thought of apologizing to Alhaji was even making her cringe, but that would be the only way out. The only ray of hope she had left. They left the balcony together and she directly went down to the main gate. She knocked on it from inside and Mujaheed wondered who it was. If someone wanted to go out, wouldn t they just come out already without knocking? "Nana, is that you?" He asked from the bench he stood. "It s Fareeda, I need to talk to you." She said in a soft tone and waited until he came inside before she looked up at his face. He looked strikingly handsome and for the first time in her life, Fareeda noticed his hair. He had the kind of hair that one might think he wasn t from the northern part of Nigeria. Black, silky and undoubtedly soft even though she hadn t gotten the chance to touch it, some locks of it slipped down to his face and he quickly pulled it away from his eyes. "What are you staring at?" He asked, lifting his brow as he fixed his gaze on her now embarrassed face. What was she thinking of?! She internally screamed and looked back at his face with a stoic expression.