Chapter 04

"I think the little young master also likes grapes," I heard her say. I smiled and rubbed my belly. Little traitor. Staying in my belly and likes to eat his daddy s favorites. "When the young master s mother was pregnant with him, she also ate grapes. Only grapes" She smiled and looked at my belly. My belly was not big but it had a small bump. "When will the young master come again?" I asked. Aunty Jade s facial expression changed as she heard what I asked. "Young master won t come again. His job is done and he doesn t have permission to come here again." What? Doesn t have permission? What kind of nonsense was that? "He s the father of the child. Why can t he come?" What kind of father is he, if he can t come to see his baby? "Young master has works. He s a busy man. Don t think that you can start a relationship with him because of the baby." I wanted to laugh. A relationship? I haven t even seen that man. How am I supposed to start a relationship with him? Pufft. I didn t talk with her more, just simply nodded because I didn t want to argue with this woman. He will definitely come. As she went out of the room I laid back on the bed and stroked my belly. He should come because I have to save my brother. I will wait no matter what and no matter what they told me about him. ………………. Time flew and I m already nine months pregnant. I can t do anything with this huge belly. Doctors confirmed that the baby is a boy and this little guy is making things hard for me. Kicking me and moving. I have no idea how to leave him because he s mine and he s growing inside of my body. I just.. I m just not ready to let go of this little life. As for my little baby s father, he never came. I waited and I m still waiting but he didn t come for the whole nine months. Noah s health got worse last month because he didn t get his surgery. Why are these people so heartless? Am I going to give my baby to this heartless family? My tears came out because I was just helpless. "No, Your daddy will come baby" I placed my hand on my belly and I could feel him moving. Every time I mention the word 'daddy he starts to move, maybe happy. Suddenly a sharp pain came as I screamed. Baby is coming, but didn t they tell me that my delivery date is next week? "What s wrong?" I heard Aunty Jade s voice when I was about to talk and I felt something broken. "Oh my god. baby " Aunty Jade yelled as she came and tried to pick me up. Then two men came and took me into the car as they drove to the hospital. I can t go through the pain. It hurts like hell. Aunty Jade was squeezing my hands. "I..I..can t aunty…. It.. hurts" I sobbed because of the pain. Did my mother go through this when she gave birth to us? "Be strong Julianna," She said as she caressed my hair. Then they put me into the ward and doctors came in. I was scared. "Calm down Julianna, Push the baby" I nodded at them and started to push but the pain was something I could ignore. My body was covered with sweat and finally, after fifteen minutes, I gave birth to my little baby boy. I smiled as I heard him cry. "Can..I..see?" I asked as a nurse gave him to me. He was covered with blood and some white colored liquid. I took him to my arms and looked at him carefully. He slowly opened his eyes and they were blue. Gorgeous. I think he looks like his daddy. Suddenly, my heart was covered with a bitter feeling because I won t see him after today. Unintentionally tears came out of my eyes as I looked at his eyes. "Mommy s sorry my little prince" I kissed his forehead, my teardrops landed on his face and he started to cry again. A nurse came and took him into her arms but I m not ready to let go. I just wanted to run away with him because he s my son. Then slowly my vision turned dark as I drifted to sleep. ……………………….. I woke up and looked around. I was still in the hospital. I sighed and got up from the bed. My body was weak but I should go to Noah now. I ll take my money and pay it for Noah s surgery. I was still wearing a hospital gown and I saw clothes on the table and I knew it was for me. I quickly changed into the clothes and went out of the ward. Then I met aunty Jade. "Here is your money and leave here. Don t come back again and as the contract rules you will never see the baby and his full custody will belong to his father." My heart shattered into pieces. How am I supposed to let go? He s my son and I gave birth to him. His father didn t even come to see. "Can..I see him for one last time? Please. I gave birth to him. I m his mother" I spoke through my broken voice. I m not ready to let go. I carried him for nine months and he grew up with me, not with his father. "You can t go against the contract. You already signed it. Don t make the old madam angry" Those guys are rich and I knew I won t be able to win against him. So without arguing I took the money and left. "Take care of your health Julianna. Good luck" I heard aunty jade was talking to me but I didn t turn around to see her. I was just broken. They are just so heartless and didn t even let me see my baby for one last time. I forced my tears back and went to Noah s hospital. Finally, I m going to see my little brother. I smiled happily because I m going to save Noah and he will be happy. I went to the hospital. I walked through the corridor and I met doctor Peterson. I smiled at him but he didn t smile, he just nodded at me and left. What the hell? But I saw guilt on his face. Why was that? Suddenly my heart became restless. Did something happen to Noah? No.. With that, I ran into his hospital ward quickly. As I entered his ward, Noah wasn t there. Fear took over me as I looked at his bed. Where is he? I asked myself and then the nurse came into the room. "Where is Noah? Did he go to a check-up?" I asked her but her face had the same look as doctor Peterson. Why? "Where is he? What happened to him?" I couldn t hold my tears back. I asked as I took her hands. "Noah..He passed away yesterday" What? What did she just say? Passed away? No.. she s lying… "You.. You re lying, right? Tell me where is he? I took money for his surgery" I said. I didn t believe her words and I won t believe them. Maybe Noah is playing with other kids. "Julianna… I m sorry.. I know it s very hard to believe but he s gone. It happened yesterday at 10 in the morning. We called you but you didn t answer. I m sorry" Yesterday? At 10? I.. I was in the hospital giving birth to my baby. How.. How did this happen? My heart was suffocating and I couldn t breathe. I clutched my dress tightly. What is this? After everything? "But I found money for his surgery" I said as I looked into her eyes. "He kept this with him and asked me to give this to you" I didn t have tears. I just.. I was just empty. It felt like someone grabbed my soul away from my body. My heart hurts. She gave me Noah s notebook. I didn t open it because I was afraid.. "Is he really gone?" I asked again because I just couldn t believe it. To my disappointment, she nodded while wiping her tears. "So…. where is he now?" I asked because I was done. I didn t feel anything. Just empty. "We arranged a funeral for him. It will happen in the evening." So this is it… This is how it ends. After everything, I only gained pain, tears, and loneliness. Is this my life? "Julianna. Where are you going?" I heard her speak but I didn t care. I just left. I hugged Noah s notebook tightly and left the hospital. I went home and I came here after nine months. I went straight to Noah s room and laid on his bed. "I..I m so sorry darling" I said while hugging his pillow. His milky scent is still here with his things. I closed my eyes and recalled his smile. It was the smile that encouraged me every time I was about to fall. That smile gave life to my baby but now everything is gone. I failed him. I failed him as a sister. It was all my fault and