Chapter 14

AMY “This is my training den,” Logan mentioned as we sauntered into the brightly lit cave thanks to the large hole at the top center. The ground was leveled evenly with several green plants around the surrounding area. “It’s empty,” I remarked as I studied the area. “This is not a gym. This place is mainly used for my indoor combat training. It’s the perfect place to train without any interference,” he said, clearly still angry. “Oh,” I whispered while he walked to the center. “Please tell me you know how to do this.” He extended his right hand claws. “Just because I don’t know how to transform doesn’t mean I’m that bad,” I hissed as I extended both claws. “If you can do this, then how don’t you know how to transform?” “Just teach me already!” He held my gaze for a while before sighing. He rolled his sleeves up to his elbow and I found myself drawn to the beauty of his right forearm tattoo. It just complemented him so well. “As werewolves, we have two entities dwelling in us. Our human nature and our wolf nature. Both of them bond so deep that they act as one soul,” he explained. “Which is why transforming comes easy because our wolf is a natural extension of our bodies.” He extended his claws again. “The moment you treat your wolf as a separate entity, transformation becomes impossible.” “So is that why I can’t transform?” I asked. He nodded. “There has to be a bridge linking both of you together. And that bridge is our emotions.” “Emotions?” “Yes, werewolves naturally get their transformation from ages nine and above because at that age, our wolf nature has fully formed. The first time we have a spark with our wolf is when we have our first transformation.” “And the other times?” “That is where our emotions come in. Anger, fear, sadness, disgust, excitement, happiness, joy. One of these emotions triggers our transformation depending on the circumstances.” He pursed his lips as he came closer to me. “You have to explore one of these emotions if you want to incite your transformation.” My gaze fell to the ground unsure of what option to explore. I was scared, scared of failing, scared of the pain that might come with my bones breaking and mending. My wolf, on the other hand, was excited that she was going to be let out for the first time. “Come on, what are you waiting for?” His right eyebrow arched upwards as he crossed his arms against his chest. “I’m trying to think…” “There’s no need to think, just let it come naturally. Gosh, this is as easy as stealing candy from a baby!” “You’re not helping!” I barked. “Well, you’re not trying!” “Can you just be quiet…” He grunted before walking far away from me. I closed my eyes while my teeth gnashed as I forced every nerve in me to transform. But I felt nothing. I tried over and over until Logan started hissing and shaking his head as he walked back and forth. “Why the hell did the moon goddess mate me with someone like you?” he lamented and I instantly felt a throbbing pain in my chest. “I waited for ten good years only to end up with a pathetic—“ He paused, but the damage was already done. “I didn’t ask for someone like you either,” I said back but he scoffed. “I didn’t even want a mate!” “Well we both got what we didn’t want but fucking move on! You’re weak, Amy! At this rate I doubt you can avenge Clara or your pack members when it really matters!” “I’m trying, I swear!” I moaned in distress. “Then transform!!” “I can’t!” I panted and he huffed. He brushed past me and headed towards the entrance. “Are you leaving?” “I have better things to do with my time, Amy,” he toned icily and it only made the pain sting more. “You promised me!” “And I’ve given up on you. You’re not ready to learn.” “I am!” “You are?” he scoffed. “Because of you Clara died!” “Stop.” Tears slowly blurred my vision. “It’s the ugly truth, Amy. If you hadn’t been such a coward and run into the forest maybe Clara would still be alive.” “Please stop…” “You are so weak that you couldn’t even save your pack! You survived to avenge your pack but here you are being a complete failure!” “Logan!” My tears trickled to the ground. My chest was tightening in pain by the moment so that I could barely breathe. “A failure to Clara, a failure to your pack, and very soon, a failure to me.” My wobbly legs failed me that I didn’t realize when I fell to my knees. “Please stop…” “Maybe you’re just cursed to bring destruction wherever you go!” “Logan!” I barked as my hands sunk into the ground, grabbing as much sand I could. “Failure! Pathetic!” “Stop!” I snarled, unable to control the violent quake raging in me. “I regret the day I met you.” “Stop!!” I screamed as my fangs extended. I felt a sharp pain strike in my back. “Logan!!” I cried as I fell face flat, unable to tame my breaths. My ankles cracked in a flash and before I could hold them, my fingers cracked too. I banged the ground repeatedly as I screamed my lungs out. “Logan!!” I glanced at him one last time but he didn’t even move an inch. My clothes ripped as fur slowly grew out of my skin and at that point I realized what was happening. Maybe I should have been happy, but this pain haunting every part of my body was even worse than losing Clara. I wanted it to stop but I was losing myself to the insanity quickly. I didn’t know how long it took but the pain suddenly vanished. I felt very different, very strong, in fact. I was standing on all fours, my snout twitched as I picked various scents. My ears could pick sounds to the far tweets of the birds deep in the forests. And before me was my mate struck in awe, his eyes mirroring my white fur. I was mad at him and more than ever would have ripped him apart but he was my mate and I couldn’t find that resolve. So I chose to dwell on the other emotion—joy. I could finally transform! My wolf wanted to explore and, without thinking twice, I ran out of the cave, enjoying the breeze that streamlined past me. The feeling of running on my paws across the dead leaves and twigs. I’ve always felt drawn to the forest naturally but now that I was in my wolf form, the entire place felt like paradise. I didn’t know how much time I’d spent but I made sure I toured around the forest to my delight. I rested behind a large tree, reminiscing on Logan’s words. Maybe he was right. Maybe I was cursed. Maybe I should just run away. That's what was best for everyone.