Chapter 7

　　DAMIEN: 　　Whatever Carmella was doing, it looked like she didn't want to be disturbed. A closer look at her made me realize she was actually bonding her hair in a way and this gave me the cue that I could actually move close to her. 　　"Can we talk?" I ask in an attempt to grab her attention even though I know that she was aware of my presence. 　　She nodded but didn't stop what she's doing for my sake. And with a deep breath which was the only way for me to relax my nerves, I began to speak. 　　"I know you're not comfortable with everything going on," I start with that. "But I want you to be open with me. I want to know how you really feel because I feel I owe you a lot of explanation." 　　She says nothing but keeps bonding her hair with her eyes fixated on her reflection in the mirror. The fact is that I'm actually surprised to see her do this herself when she usually calls for her personal maids to get it done for her or sometimes her Gamma. 　　Eventually, her hands are off her hair. And while still staring into the mirror, she says, "Do you want to know something, Damien?" 　　"Yes." 　　"The moment I become open about this ongoing situation, is the moment all hell lets loose. I'm sure you won't want any of that especially when your human girl is involved." 　　I wasn't sure what to say to that. It sounded like a threat and at the same time sounded like she was issuing me a warning that brought light to everything happening presently. 　　Perhaps I need to listen to more that she has to say before concluding that she meant any harm by the words she uttered. 　　She continues to speak, "I could have searched for my mate, you know. Maybe he's not here. Perhaps he's from another pack. But I chose duty over anything else and stayed here with you. I wanted to be the Luna for the members of my pack while neglecting that my fate could actually be bonded to someone else out there. Doesn't that mean anything to you?" 　　I felt sorry for her instantly. 　　"It means a lot to me, Carmella," I say truthfully. "But I never sought for my rightful mate. I—" 　　"Stop calling her that. At least not in my presence. You're only making me feel worse than I already am," she states. 　　"I'm sorry but I truly never did what I said before. I abided by duty too just like you said and it's the same duty that led me into finding her." 　　"Whatever you say doesn't change the fact that you never look at me like you want me around you," she rebuffs. "I knew you just tolerated my presence because you had no choice." 　　"We both didn't. Our companionship isn't sealed by fate so I won't say it's my fault," I remind her about the bigger picture that came with what we have. 　　She is up on her feet, turning around to face me. She then moves very close to me until there is no space between us. 　　Her hand rests on my chest as she looks up at me. I won't lie, her eyes were reflecting a lot of emotions that I didn't want her to see her going through because of me. 　　"You said our union isn't sealed by fate and I agree," she starts to say. "But over the years, I've grown to love you. I've become accustomed to your presence and everything that has to do with you. It's because I opened my heart to the possibility of wanting you around me and I took that chance. So you see that I also had no choice but then created one for myself." 　　Her words hit me where it shouldn't. I wasn't even sure how to react to what she just told me and to be honest, I think coming here to discuss our situation was a very wrong idea to begin with. 　　I heave out a sigh. "I don't even know what to say," I admit. 　　"I know. In your mind, you are fighting a battle of the fact that you really do not have a choice or not. However it's you not having a choice that led us to not having an heir to show for our union together." 　　"I've always wanted a child, Carmella. A little pup that I can call my own. I'm sorry we have none to show." 　　I was sincere with my words. As rigid as I can be, I still wanted and acknowledged the idea of having a child of my own. The thought mostly gives me chills but then it's unfortunate that I still do not have one. 　　"Then let's make one," Carmella announces. 　　"What?" 　　"We have no child because we never really were sincere about having one together. The moon goddess probably saw through our intentions and didn't bless us with one so now, if we're intentional about it, I'm sure she'll grant us our wish." 　　I squint my eyes at the proposal. "You sure that's the reason for what happened?" 　　Her hand travels up to my face. She caresses it affectionately, one which I hardly felt anything to. But I let her have her way. 　　And with her eyes deep into mine, she says, "Let's have our own babies and they'll be the rightful heir to the position of Alpha of the Red Moon pack. We can make this work only if we do it right this time." 　　I say nothing. I can't even bring myself to say anything when I know for sure that any word that comes out of my mouth could even worsen whatever hope Carmella was holding on to. 　　I shouldn't be doing this to her but I can't help it. I hardly have any control over what goes on in my life even with being the Alpha of a pack which is why I'm in a great dilemma as I stare down at her. 　　She probably read through my silence because she takes her hand off my face. A step backward and away from me, she asks, "You can't do this, right? You're scared that you're about to betray the trust of your human girl whom you just met some days ago, isn't it?" 　　"That's not what I'm thinking," I say in an attempt to correct her. 　　"Are you even thinking, Damien?" she snaps. "Because if you are, you would realize the girl's nothing like us. She's nothing like us, Damien, yet you want to end up with her?" 　　I shake my head. "That's not what I want." 　　"Then what do you want?" 　　"I don't know," I tell her. "I'm confused as hell right now and you speaking to me like this isn't helping at all. You think I wanted this to happen? You think I planned for all of this? You think I would go all out to bring in a human into our midst just to ruin everything we share? No. It was never in my books. And now that it has happened, all I'm looking for is a little support just to figure out a way out of this." 　　She sneers at me. "You want my support? Bloody hell you won't be getting any," she doesn't beat about the bush. "I see the way you've been looking at her, Damien. Those looks do not seem like someone who's confused about what he wants. It sure doesn't." 　　I was going to say something when my ears suddenly picked up a noise from a long distance away from here. It sounds like there's an ongoing commotion and from the look on Carmella's face, it seems she could sense it too. 　　Instantly, I access the pack link in my head to find out information from whoever could provide one. And the noise hasn't dissipated from hearing just yet. 　　'Alpha! The pack is under attack!' 　　I received that answer from one of the warriors and I knew immediately that I had to leave the room. I have to do it fast because I just realize now that Riley is out there with little to no protection. 　　I can't let any harm come her way. I brought her into the middle of all this and I have to ensure that her safety becomes a top priority. 　　Xavier had better be with her right now.