CHAPTER 18 - The Outsider

Lyra What if Ryan found out the truth about me? Would he cast me aside like everyone else had? Would he see me as weak, unworthy of his attention? The thought made my stomach churn. I tried to focus on Sally's words, on the beauty of the campus around me, but my mind kept drifting back to Ryan. I couldn't shake the feeling that he was watching me, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. As we approached the orientation building, a sudden wave of dizziness washed over me. I stumbled, grabbing onto Sally's arm for support. "Hey, are you okay?" Sally asked, her voice laced with concern. I nodded, trying to brush it off. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little nervous, I guess." But the truth was, I wasn't fine. I was terrified. Terrified of being found out, of being rejected once again. "Lyra… I consider you a friend. My only one. You can tell me anything. I won't judge." The confession – the truth about my missing wolf – sat heavy on my tongue, ready to spill. A part of me ached to confide in Sally. She had been nothing but kind, her eyes warm with genuine care. Right then, I felt trapped. Should I confess my secret and risk being hated, or stay quiet and keep suffering alone? I was unsure which path would lead to greater pain. Taking a shaky breath, I met her gaze. Could I trust her? The real question was, would I have the courage to take that step? Could I risk everything for the chance at belonging, at finally finding a place… a home? I had to try. I opened my mouth to confess my biggest secret, then a spark – like static electricity – filled the air. The smell of eucalyptus and mint washed over me. My shoulders tightened as I turned. Ryan was walking toward us, his big body moving with a mix of danger and something… tempting. My dumb heart pounded, and I let out a curse. Sally noticed the change in my expression and followed my gaze, her eyes widening as she took in Ryan's approach and the way his deep blue eyes locked onto mine. "Lyra," he greeted me, his voice low and husky. The sound of my name on his lips sent a thrill through me, and I had to fight the urge to step closer to him. "I needed to speak with you." "I'll leave you two." Sally bent her head. "Alpha." Sally walked away and our easy moment vanished, replaced by those stiff rules about who had power. I get that Ryan was Alpha, but Sally was way too sweet to grovel like that. Being alone with Ryan, even as other students talked and laughed around us, made me feel exposed. Especially with him staring at my lips with his sharp eyes… like he was trying to pry my secret from my mouth. "What do you want, Ryan?" I asked, my voice sounding more breathless than I would have liked. "I, uh, wanted to check on you," Ryan said, his usual bravado replaced by a hint of shyness. "How did you sleep last night?" I eyed him warily, caught off guard by his sudden change in the way he acted towards me. "Fine, I guess. The bed was comfortable enough." "Good, good," he nodded, shuffling his feet. "And do you have everything you need? I want to make sure you feel at home here." His concern seemed genuine, but I couldn't help but wonder what his angle was. "Yes, I have everything," I replied coolly. "Great. I'm glad to hear that." The sweet smile he gave me nearly melted my heart it was so cute. An awkward silence stretched between us, and I spoke to dispel it. "Thank you, by the way," I said reluctantly, "for the opportunity to attend Harbringer. It's always been a dream of mine." Ryan's eyes widened in surprise. "Really? I had no idea." "Well, it's not like we've had many heart-to-heart conversations," I pointed out, my tone still guarded. "You're right," he admitted, running a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry about that. I want us to start fresh, Lyra. I know we got off on the wrong foot, but I truly want what's best for you." I studied his face, searching for any sign of deceit, but found only sincerity. "I appreciate that," I said slowly, "but you'll have to forgive me if I'm a bit skeptical. Trust doesn't come easily for me." "I understand," Ryan said, his voice soft. His gaze held mine, and for a moment, I could almost believe that he truly cared. But the memory of his betrayal, of waking up to find him gone, still stung. I couldn't let myself be fooled again. "Look, Ryan," I said, steeling myself, "I appreciate the opportunity to attend Harbringer. But let's not pretend that this is anything more than you holding me hostage. You need me for whatever reason, and I need the education. That's it." His jaw clenched, and I could see the frustration in his eyes. "Lyra, it's not like that. I..." But before he could finish, a bell rang out, signaling the start of classes. I took a step back, grateful for the interruption. "I have to go," I said, turning away from him. "I don't want to be late for orientation." As I walked away, I could feel his eyes on me, burning into my back. A part of me wanted to turn around, to hear what he had to say. But I couldn't risk it. I couldn't let myself be vulnerable again. Sally joined me at the steps to the main building. We entered and she squeezed my shoulder before we parted ways. "Orientation's just there," she chirped, pointing to the first door on the left. With a wave, and a promise to meet me directly after, she left. Alone, I took a steadying breath. Heart pounding, I pushed through the heavy wooden door. The orientation room was cramped, holding seats for a few students. Three of them were occupied by two males and a female. Their gazes flickered towards me as I slipped into the back row, desperate to disappear and become just another face.