Chapter 4

When I woke up, my inner thighs were very sore, but I found that I was in a room that did not belong to me. The wood floor and the grey walls, all the stuff were unfamiliar, including the trophies and the pictures. Then someone groaned, I sat up, but quickly grabbed the sheet and covered my chest because I was naked. I turned my head around slowly to face the male starring back at me. There was a blank on his face. Flashed back…MY GOD! I was sooo afraid, I almost shook unconsciously, I didn’t want him to know how I felt, but I couldn’t control myself. His back was facing me which was flexed and tanned. I was nervous, waiting for him to break the ice, but he said nothing, just sat there without a word. I stared at him sitting at the side of the bed, I realized a question. Did he regret the last night that he spent with me? I guessed he did. I am not the pretty girls around his side, not the intelligent girls in his class. Other girls wear the short skirts and high heels, but I wear trousers and sneakers. And I am so fat that none notices me if I walk in the street. And the most fatal point is that I’ve even shifted. I even doubt that whether I am a werewolf? Suddenly, he moved, I followed his movement with my eyes. He stood and dropped the blank covered on his body. He stood tall staring at me with a straight gaze. I found that he already put his clothes on, maybe while I was sleeping. Then he got his worn jeans and dark jacket and didn’t give me a look until he finished his movement. "What happened?" I asked. I wasn't even thinking. I hated myself. Why did I ask him this problem? "Don't act like you don't know!" he said in anger. I was so confused. "Do you jump in bed with anyone who cares about you?" I heard my heart beating and it dropped. I shook my head quickly before speaking. "No. I never jump in bed with anyone but you. I can’t control myself Alpha-" "Oh, you jumped at power, as long as that person was an Alpha?" He said in a mean way. Why does he think that I am a whore or some kind of power-sucking person? I would only just sleep with someone I loved and never someone was power. "No, I am not the per" "But this was what happened. I was drunk. And you should have known better why you here." he yells. I suddenly felt I was a wicked person, have taken advantage of someone. Everything was ruined. I slept with a drunk man, but he assumed that all the things were what I planned. Why he said he missed me, he looked really happy to see me, he took the dress to me, he comforted me when other girls laughed at me? "I-I am so sorry. But the colors flying around, I didn't know you were drunk, it is my bad" " Wait... Colors flying around?" He gazed me in an unbelievable way. "Fuck! This means that we are mates! How could!" He shouted loudly, he may go crazy. He sat down on a chair and didn't say anything else anymore. I had known that we were mates because our wolf school taught us that when you meet your mate, you would feel something different. But what Sean said really hurt me. " No, I can't do this. I promised." He says to himself looking at me. "I can't have a mate. I am sorry. I'm rejecting you." He says with no emotions like a robot. I looked into his eyes, there was not shiny anymore, just a dead lake. He hurt me again and again with word that haunted me over the night. "You should leave before I come back." With that he left. Slamming the door shut. Leaving me alone with his cruel movement. I stared at the ceiling wondering why he treated me like this. He rejected me. I'm rejected. I should say that I deserved it. An ugly, fat, unshifted, unpopular sad bitch? If I was him, I’d like to choose a better one. I think I should leave, not only his room, but also the pack. There is no point that I keep staying here. I am trying my best to live, to suffer what I shouldn’t suffer, but now, my mate rejected me. What he did was adding the salt to injury. What am I offending? I’d rather be a rogue or go to the heaven to see my father, rather than stay in his pack standing the pain. The real question is... Why should I stay here? What's the actual point of me staying here? In this bloody mean pack. My own last hope was my mate and he just rejected me. After sleeping with me. I will run away. Being a rogue is better than staying in this pack. Being dead is better than this. At least then I will be with someone that loves me. I will be with my father. Tired and drained. Finally, I came back to home. It was so good that no one was at home. I decided that I needed to learn how to live on my own, and I wasn't going to cry over anyone who didn't deserve my tears. It was my fault that I should have told Jared the truth earlier. But now...It's too late and I don’t care about it anymore. I made my way to upstairs, entering my tiny room. Before I packed some clothes, I ripped out few papers from a book and was about to write a letter to my brother. I know you remember our father and we’ve been loving him so much until now and I know hid death still hurt you. This is the reason why I wrote this letter for you, because I don’t want to leave without a word, without goodbye like father, this may make you sad. Don’t try to find me, this would be a long gone, and I promise you will never see me again, you may glad to see this. Here was not my homeland anymore, until that day I never forget. To be honest, I was hiding the truth, I should have told you as soon as possible, but I assumed that the truth may hurts you and this may be the only way to save you. And now I must save myself, you were my best brother and I loved you even if there are some misunderstandings between us. Someday I would forgive what you do to me. Now just let it go. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I hope it was nice where you are. Love always Ingrid. I didn’t know why I wrote this letter actually, maybe I still cared about him. Whatever, all for my dad’s sake. After I made sure that this letter was right, I folded it and walked to my brother’s room. Leaving it on his bed, I made my way downstairs. I turned my head back and see my house, this may be the last time. Then I had to find Hebe, it was necessary to say goodbye with her, or she would never forgive me. Standing in her doorway, holding my pack, I knocked the door nervously. I needed to look around to make sure no one noticed me. Hebe was shocked to see me because it’s been a while since we met each other. She gave me a hug and hold me tight. "How did you go out?" she asked me, knowing my brother’s order. "Well, he doesn't know I'm out. " "What? Are you seriously?" She joked. "I decide to leave." She stopped smiling and changed her face. "What do you mean Ingrid?" "I'm running out of this pack." "No! What happened? Tell me what did Jared do? I will kill him!" "Actually, I found my mate" I say looking down to my foot. "That's great. Congrats.... Who is him? Why didn’t him come with you?" She noticed I wasn't happy. I was speechless. "He rejected you. Who is it? I will totally kill this bastard!" "It doesn’t matter now. I am here to say goodbye. If you see me again, I will tell you everything. We will see each other again someday. I love you." I pulled her for a huge. "I love you more." I gave her a small smile and I cried. "Impossible" I say. I began to run. I knew Hebe was so sad to lost me, but I had to go. There was not where I belonged. I couldn't stay here no more. It wasn't home no more. I run. I run away from the pack and into the forest.