Chapter 10 : Under the Mask

A dead silence hung over us. Him staring down at me, dwarfing me as I now barely came up to his chest. His confusion was written all over his face. He didn't understand me. "What?" The question fell from his lips almost before he could stop it. Then his uniquely handsome face pinched together like he tasted something bitter and he reached down, gripping my face in his hands. Harder than he usually did. Forcing me to stare at him and notice how his teeth were extended into fangs. Every part of him was different. Sharper. Rougher. But I still found him alluring. My cheeks grasped in one of his massive mitts, but still gentler than I expected him to be. "Your form pleases me," I whispered, staring deeply into his glowing amber eyes. "I still want you." "You're lying," he hissed out between his teeth, his entire body rigid with seething rage. He didn't believe me. Not for a moment. I couldn't help but wonder how many times it had happened. Revealing his celestial form to someone, only to have them scream and wither. I didn't see a monster when I looked at him. I only saw a powerful being relinquishing some of his power. Perhaps Orion didn't realize what he was doing. How deep he was letting me in. I was under his skin, and he was under mine. I wanted him to know how badly I wanted him. My body wouldn't lie. Against my better judgment, I reached out with both of my hands and pulled his free hand toward myself so he could feel how my body tightened for him. My nipples pebbled with delight. "Do I feel like I'm lying?" I asked breathily, not interested in hiding the lust in my voice. He cupped one of my breasts, his blunt-tipped thumb stroking the tip, making me sigh, body thrumming for him. I molded against him. Pliant and submissive. Heat coursed through my veins, spine curving as I arched into his hands that felt entirely different than I remembered them. But they made me ache all the same. "I'm hungry for you," I murmured, eyelids fluttering at the new sensations. A gasp left my lips when he pressed down even harder, observing my reactions closely. Trying to find a lie. His chest rose and fell rapidly as his eyes widened. For once, it was like I could see him, his thoughts etched into his face. Not hidden. His frustration betrayed how badly he wanted to hide from me. But he couldn't. Always telling me not to hide from him, but he was hiding just as much as I was. But regardless of it, how clearly he wanted me too, I had a feeling his reaction would be the same nevertheless. "You don't want me, Adira." He drew back from me, my aching body now cold. He turned, preventing me from analyzing his face. Stealing my breath away. His black feathered wings extended outwards. "Stop prying. Leave it." "No." "No?" he repeated, thick black eyebrows shooting upwards. "No?" he said again, this time nearly a shout. Both of his massive hands grasped my shoulders as he pushed me into the bookshelves, several books falling and hitting the ground. I didn't shrink or look away from him for a moment. "Scare me all you want. I'll still want you." An animalistic roar of frustration burst from his chest. His hand snapped around my throat. He squeezed, torn between wanting to kiss me or kill me. I watched the passion for violence and sex battle in his eyes. The uncertainty only enticed me even more. Agonizing pleasure enraptured me. Desire so powerful I thought it would combust and kill us both in a fiery inferno to rival Hell itself. His broad shoulders strained, a cord in his neck roped with stress. His nostrils flared and I watched his scarred upper lip curl. "I will destroy you. Snap you into so many pieces no one will be able to find them all. Keep digging and you'll be a nameless corpse found in a ditch long after I've consumed every bit of light you had left." I didn't care. His hand tightened around my throat, nearly cutting off every source of oxygen. I gave myself over, muttering, "I-I…want you..." *** A small hand shaking my shoulder jerked me right from my slumber. My eyes snapped open as I jumped upwards with a gasp, a piece of paper stuck to my sweaty cheek. I looked around, desperately searching for Orion, but he was gone. Not a single book out of place. Like the passion we had just shared never happened. "Are you alright, dear?" Betty asked, coffee pot in hand. I scrubbed my face with my hands, wondering what time it was. My temples pounded, exhaustion heavy like cement coating my spine. Or maybe I was feeling the bruises where he had pinned me against the bookshelf. Fuck. I felt like shit. "Yes, I must've fallen asleep," I rasped out, throat gravelly and sleep-coated. My throat felt sore, unnaturally thick like Orion was moments from snapping it. "Not a problem, but you can't sleep here," she replied gently, as if she was worried I was there because I didn't have anywhere else to go. "Are you in trouble?" Was I in trouble? Maybe. But nothing I couldn't handle by myself. Nothing I'd want to burden anyone else with. "Just overworked," I answered. She nodded, not pressing. "If you find yourself in trouble, I have some connections. Don't be afraid to ask." Betty filled my coffee cup. I wiped a crusty cluster of sediment from the corner of my eyes and mumbled, "Thank you." She gave me a sad smile and shuffled back into the stacks. I groaned, sipping coffee the consistency of motor oil. Time to get back to work. I sure as hell wasn't going to leave it alone. Not when I was so close to the answers I wanted. Fire brewed in my belly. I picked up the book in front of me. A demonology book. The history of incubi. Unrelated to the Princes of Hell, but remain under their rule. Said to be the children of Lillith. Servants of Asmodeus. According to the theology, incubi would sneak into dreams, feed off sexual energy and assault unassuming women. Rarely the women would become pregnant with cambions, half-human and half-demon. Looking just like human children. More than likely, these children are gifted, but go through life unaffected by their paternity. Live and die like humans. Orion couldn't be a cambion. He didn't look human. There had to be more. He was much older than that. I moved on, dismissing that theory all together. Scanning the pages until I got to a section about the seven deadly sins. And the demons that represent them. The Seven Princes of Hell. "I know Lust, pet." Wait. I scanned the page, eyeing the names. Asmodeus, one of the Seven Princes of Hell, and the embodiment of Lust. This particular demon confuses demonologists because no one can determine his motivations. As far as all of the Princes of Hell are concerned, Asmodeus is incredibly dangerous. He liked humans more than his brothers. Gaining pleasure from influencing even the most powerful mortal kings to act against the common people for selfish needs. While being known for lust, he also enjoys gambling and enacting revenge. He appears in various stories… Asmodeus. Was that Orion's true name? I had to keep reading. Who knows how much of this is true, but I didn't care. It felt like an in. A look beneath the bravado he put forward. His snarling teeth and furious glare. According to some texts, he was the son of Lucifer and Lillith. Others claim he's Lillith's husband after her first one was castrated and imprisoned. Father of Demons. Another said he rebelled alongside his brother, Lucifer, as Asmoday and became Asmodeus when he fell. Famously telling God to, "put me where you will." And thus was named a Lord of Hell. So many conflicting stories made me unsure what was true, or what was a fallacy to make him seem more evil than he really was. I read and absorbed everything. Looking for his name in every text I could. It felt right. I knew who he was. But how I could use his name, I wasn't sure. All the words began to bleed together, a few hours later until it was nearly seven in the morning. My head pounded, the scars on my face feeling unnaturally tight. Or maybe that's how they always felt and I had just forgotten without Orion. A shock of fear ran down my spine. He didn't feed from me. Does that mean he'd find someone else to satisfy him? My abdomen clenched painfully. Heart stuttering in my chest. A thickness enveloped my throat, forming a hard lump I couldn't swallow. He wouldn't do that. I wanted to think he needed me. He chose me and kept choosing me. But perhaps I just indulged his curiosity. He used me. He made it very clear every time he saw me. I was an insignificant little mortal who he used for necessity. Stupid. I was stupid to feel like this was anything but a transaction. The fact he'd find someone else fed the boiling pit of rage in my stomach. Did the thought make me want him less? No. It didn't. Thinking about how he pinned me against the bookcase, his blazing eyes drifting down to my mouth. He wanted to kiss me. I would have glided my tongue across his sharp teeth, molded my lips to his. Nearly eight feet tall of pure muscle and demonic energy, he could have destroyed me right against the stacks. Taken me like the demon he was. The thought of fucking him like that, in his real form, made me hotter than I thought was possible. Knock over bookshelves and break tables. With the power inside him, we could burn the whole world down together. I pressed my thighs together, cheeks flushing when I imagined all the destruction we'd be capable of. I would let him take everything from me just to have a taste of what it'd be like to have people crumble at my feet, begging for salvation. The transaction wasn't one sided. I knew it, especially now when my entire body ached like I had run half a marathon in my sleep. When he fed, it renewed me. I tasted his power and consumed it for myself. This morning, I felt chewed up and spat out. The pain in my ribs came back, throbbing an incessant beat I hated. I stared down at my book, gazing at a section describing how to invoke a demon. Mainly a bunch of chanting. Inclement weather projects the speaker's wishes louder than during clear weather. Therefore making it more likely to hear a reply. Next, I read a disclaimer warning against calling forward a Prince of Hell and how incredibly risky it was. Risks be damned. The second his mask slipped and I watched the war raging in his eyes, I felt connected to him. Seeing him at his barest. He couldn't hide from me anymore. I was well aware invoking a demon based off of a hunch wasn't the smartest thing to do, but the idea of him taking his feeding elsewhere infuriated me. It was worth the risk of calling forward the wrong demon. He was mine. I didn't care whether or not he liked it. I ground my teeth together, pushing the discomfort behind me and buying the book I was reading. Betty arched her brow. "Find everything alright?" Nodding, I ignored the pain in my head. She lowered her glasses, eyeing the book carefully. Her gaze shot back up to me. "Don't read anything out loud unless you mean it. Do you understand?" A bead of sweat ran down my cheek, panic squeezing my heart slightly. "I'll be careful." Betty seemed to exhale a nervous breath, taking my payment and handing me a paper sack. "Okay…have a good day. Come back soon."