chapter 44

It feels like it s been hours since the doc left, and I did exactly as I was told. I ate the food and dressed in the gray sweatpants and sweater, put on the socks and oversized boots, which baffled me completely as to why I needed them and all the undergarments in the bag. I m now pacing my cell wondering if I imagined they had any importance. Maybe he was just being thoughtful and giving me items to aid comfort, and I was looking for something that was not there because I was so desperate for an out. I rummaged in the bag and food, wondering if maybe he left something for me, like a key card, and came up with nothing except confusion, convincing myself I imagined it completely. I can t stay here like this, watching her sleep the day away, and if all he is going to do is take tests and fill me in with stories that screw up my head, then this is hopeless. I m trying to process all of it, and I can t swallow it right now, so I do what I do best and push it to one section of my brain f