chapter 11

I can t turn and I ve no idea why. I m as weak and powerless as Juan said I was. Because of me, Colton will perish tonight, too. He ll feel this pain, he ll know I m suffering, and as soon as my heart stops, his will too. I failed to keep my mate safe by failing to save myself, and I don t deserve his love, his bond. I m sorry, my love. You were right. I m no warrior. I doubt he ll even hear me, as along with my ability to turn; my mind-link is silent and has been since I lost him upstairs. I close my eyes, trying hard to connect to him, to feel him inside my head one last time, but there is only deathly silence in the recess of my brain as fingers encircle my throat and I wait for the inevitable squeeze to end it all. My blurry vision focuses in front of me, straining across the lawn in a last-ditch attempt to see the world I m leaving behind. He begins to choke the air out of my body, slowly, enjoying the power, savoring it, smug about the lack of my fight because I have nothing left. Truly sick. My eyes settle on the chaos lying before me, and my heart implodes with what I see, the devastation too much for me to compute. Tears rolling down my face as sadness numbs out everything else. A quiet peace filling my senses as shock and reality hit to shield me from the horror of what I m witnessing. There are bodies everywhere. The unwanteds, the guardians, side by side, no care whether one was important or not. There s blood, debris, and the lifeless souls of my reject pack, strewn wherever the eye strays. Headless, maimed. Some torn to pieces, some just bleeding out from wounds across their throats and already dead. Dark fluid taints it all. Blood in the shadows stains everything as far as I can see. Chaos everywhere. It s a massacre we never saw coming, and they hit the weakest in our kingdom, the ones who had no defenses. Most of us were just children or teenagers, and we never stood a chance. This is it for us. My story is finally over. I close my eyes and accept fate, choking slowly, no longer panicking but accepting, as blood sours my sense of taste and I gag and fumble at the grass, hot and sticky with the essence of my life, beneath my palms. I m struggling to breathe, heart giving in, unable to fight while my body is broken and shattered. Paused and waiting for the final snap to end this agony and suffering. The sudden wrenching of the hands around my neck makes me spasm in response, so in tune with the final blow, but instead of relief from this plane to the next, I m set free. Dropped hastily so my face collides with the damp, stinking grass and the taste of my own blood is rammed backwards as I inhale forcefully. My throat is released, and the flash of air that whooshes by me turns my gaze to follow, weakly, the path of whatever just flew by me. A flash of snarling fur, a huge beast in utter rage, taking down the form of the man that held me captive, and I can tell it s Colton as his scent follows on the wind. That instant inner completion only his presence can bring me, and a tiny ounce of my heart is restored. I slump my head down on my cheek to watch him, as I can t do much else. He s ruthless, a true warrior, and one of the biggest of the pack as he towers at three times the size of my attacker on his hind legs. Within seconds, without any obvious effort or fight, he tears the man limb from limb, with no hesitation, as though merely pulling apart a piece of damp paper towel. Scattering him across the back wall in a vile dark red spray of body parts with an almost explosion like drama. Snarling, seething so his teeth glint in the moonlight devilishly, he turns viciously before throwing its head across the courtyard with enough force that it clears the wall completely. It s an act of rage and fury, and he throws his own massive head back, letting the most terrifying, stomach-churning howl erupt from deep within his body, alerting his kindred that they should come. The noise fills the air, echoes insanely, and overtakes the silence and chaos as more of my brethren clear the walls effortlessly, like water over rocks, scaling and flowing smoothly in from all directions to land in the courtyard. Pouring from every avenue into the small space. Flooding my view with the forms of wolves of all sizes and shades and packs from every corner of the mountain. Uniting for a common enemy. I try to get up, relief overwhelming me that they ve come to our aid. Our saviors are here, but I can t move. My hands are bloody and ripped up, my body is weak, smashed internally, and I can t feel my legs anymore. So drained of my life force that I m ebbing away into nothingness. Try as I might ... I can t move. Lorey? Baby ... Lorey ... nooo! The black beast is over me now, turning me gently with massive clawed paws so I face those glowing amber eyes to fall into his safety and care. He calms from snarling teeth to human form instantly. In a blink, from ferocious to handsome and familiar. Suddenly smaller, naked before me, in the dark night sky and a look of utter despair washing over that furrowed brow and tear-filled eyes. "I m sorry." It s all I can splutter as I cough up blood and shudder with the effort, too consumed with fatigue to do anything else. Colton stifles a sob, scrunching his face up, and cradles me close. Picking me up as carefully as he can and pulling me against him gently, his pain at me being like this filtering back to me and weighing upon me tenfold. Sharing our agony, and I can feel his heart shredding for me. The devastation tearing through him at what he sees. "You have to turn, please. It s the only way you can survive these wounds. Turn for me. Don t give up. Don t leave me, baby." The desperation in his voice ravages my heart, but I m too weak, and I ve lost too much blood. I m so cold, so numb that even his touch can t warm me as it should, and I cry softly with desperation because I know, as soon as I slip away, his own heart will cease to beat. I can t let him die at my hands; I have to save myself to save him. He doesn t deserve this, he did nothing wrong. He came for me; he came to save me. I have to try just one more time, to give everything I have into healing myself, but it s futile. I don t even know how to turn, let alone if I can. It s like there is a disconnection and my abilities fail me. I muster any willpower I can, but it s like that veil of power is still weighing down, oppressing me, and I can t fight it. "I can t. I don t know how." Tears roll down my sodden face as I let out a useless breathy whisper. So ashamed of my own inability to be a match for his strength and power. Colton stares at me, his face suddenly straightening as he sobers instantly. He looks to his own hand, curled around my shoulder, an instant twinge of his cheek muscle and then a frown that I can t read. Colton doesn t wait, something registering on his face, and he furrows his brow with determination, pushing the softness aside. He picks me up, even though I cry out in renewed agony of this new torture, and holds me tight. Pain slices through my wounds as I cry out at what he s doing, writhing and shuddering with the sheer pain it inflicts upon me. I push my hands to his chest to beg him to let go because it s too much and my body can t take more. Glass stuck in my wounds, penetrating deeper with the pressure of his embrace, and I howl out in despair because he s only hurting me more. "I m sorry, baby. I have to." Pulling us to standing, he runs towards the nearest entrance to the courtyard. His focus intent as he scans the wall and moves us as fast as he can to the nearest gate. It s a human run, not hyper-speed, and he hauls ass to get me outside the perimeter of the enclosed garden and building. I don t understand and all I can do is cling on and stiffen and sob at the movements that bring me no end of agony. His mind syncs with mine as soon as we are free from the confines of the courtyard; I feel it. Shocked by the sudden presence of him inside my head, even though he doesn t say anything at all. A change to the weight on my chest and the dull fog of my brain as he skids down to his knees, scraping across the tarmac, taking me down with him as soon as he feels the bond return so effortlessly. "Try now. Trust me, you have to try. Focus on me; think of yourself as you were the night of your turning. The pain, the elation of your new form, will it, baby, will it! Turn!" He begs, commands, and Alpha tones me all at the same time. Desperation in his plea and I m powerless to disobey him. Something about taking me away from the house makes me feel different, as though the constraints have lifted from my soul and my head clears just enough. That internal foggy pain that held me weak moves aside, like lifting a foot from my chest, and with a little effort, my body starts to tingle. "That s it … your eyes … keep going. You can do this … it s not hard. Fight for me." He catches my hand and holds it in his loosely, waiting, watching, silently pushing me on with a look of fear in his eye that maybe it s too late. It causes chaos in my heart to see him so afraid. I focus all my effort on pushing, some deep inner need in me to unite with my wolf again, and as soon as I open my mouth to utter the words 'I think it s working , I arch in his arms and convulse as my body transforms me into the one thing that can save me. Right on the stroke of my human heart giving out and sucker punches me back into the land of the living in the most painful kind of way. I gasp as I inhale loudly, coughing out, splaying my limbs and shuddering viciously as he catches me in his arms and then immediately lets me go to twist and turn onto my belly. I wretch and gag at the same time before vomiting a ton of blood and mucus right over the top of Colton s naked thighs, as I ve no control over my aim. My wolf body ejects all that internal damage as though somehow healing is just the process of getting rid of the messy bits I no longer need, and I m covered in my own mess. Matting my leg fur and clinging disgustingly around me. I scramble away from him so as not to make this worse, and find myself on all fours, suddenly rejuvenated as the pain diminishes, and I wheeze. The transformation heals me as fast as is possible—from head to foot. Cuts close up, bones crack and reform, and my lungs expand fully, enabling me to breathe once more. Within minutes, I stand up as though I didn t just go through hell and was near death in the bloody mess I left back there. Shaken, sore all over as it fades away properly, but completely healed. I slump down on the ground and almost immediately revert to human form, as I don t have the energy or the skill to sustain my wolf form yet. That took so much out of me to literally save my life, and I m spent. Exhaling with a strangled cry of relief and emotion as everything hits me hard. Like being in a train wreck, only it s all mental now the physical has been brushed away. Colton scurries over to me and hauls me into his arms without hesitation, a look of relief on his face, and yanks me close to his chest. Wrapping me up and smoothing his hands over my naked body to check for any sign of unhealed marks. There are none. Wolf healing is incomparable and almost always fully effective. There are only a few things in this world that wolves can t heal from and none are present tonight. He tugs my face to his throat and hugs me with less panic in his touch, exhaling heavily as he allows himself a moment of relief that warms me to my core and brings me some calm. "The pack have them in retreat. I need to get you to safety and follow them. There are survivors and we have to stop them before we lose them." He nuzzles his face against my hair before shifting me, making it clear we can t stay here. He helps me up, pulling me to my feet and, holding me close to his body, leads me to one of the abandoned trucks that are scattered in every street surrounding the school. I recognize them as belonging to the Santo family. They must have flooded in from every part of the mountain at a moment s notice. "How did you know to come?" I ask weakly as he slides me into the nearest vehicle, pulling a blanket from the rear and draping it over my naked body as I begin to shiver insanely. I may be healed, but my body and mind are going into shock from all that has just taken place and I suddenly feel as though I m in some sort of dream. Fully aware that him taking control is a necessity, as I don t have the presence of mind to do anything for myself. "Your link was broken, and I couldn t reach you. I knew something was wrong. I could feel your confusion, and then your fear. Your pain almost ended me, and I didn t think I would get here in time. They did something to the house. Soon as I got near it, my wolf form struggled to stay. There s some sort of noise or frequency around it. It stops us. I could feel it in the garden, but I couldn t hear it." He closes my door, jumping in the front of the truck and scrambles around for keys, finding them still in the ignition, thankfully. Wasting no time in putting it in gear, reversing us at a screeching speed as though we re in pursuit of something and hightailing us towards the south road out of this part of the mountain valley. Getting me away from here, even if the threat is being chased off in the other direction. "Where are we going? Why aren t you saving anyone else? There are more of us; it s not only me in that home! You can t leave them behind!" I sit up, panic-stricken and sudden concern for the others left behind hits me in the chest like a freight train as my tears return with a passion and I half sob, half choke the words out. My reject pack are back there, they re the only family I know, whether I liked them or not, and there are so many innocents among them. Colton catches my eyes in the rear-view mirror and looks away quickly, a sadness hitting me right in the heart as his emotion silences me with a swift shunt of my stomach. I immediately know what the pain and sorrow are in what he doesn t say. He avoids my eye as I stare at the back of his head, feeling him, reading him as he overcomes my senses. Tasting his hesitation and sorrow. "There is no one else, is there?" I state blankly, numb shock weaving through me and hitting me with the gravity of this situation. The weight of reality settling on my shoulders to drag me back down to numbed calm. He s in constant link with his pack, so they would know about survivors, and I m guessing the fact they re chasing down the vampires who ran, and no one but Colton is shepherding one of us away, means they already checked. He shakes his head, unable to look at me, and I catch his furrowed brow and the gleam of moisture glazing his eyes in the mirror over his head. He ups a gear, pushing the truck to dangerous speeds as we head out of the valley and up onto the main road that takes us around the perimeter and out to the south. "We weren t fast enough. I almost didn t get to you in time. We just weren t ready for something like this. I wasted time assembling the pack when I knew you needed me." He sounds almost ashamed, but without the pack, he wouldn t have been able to fight all of them himself and save me at all. They would have taken him down as soon as he lost his wolf form in the gardens. "All of them ... the unwanteds ... the guardians. They re all gone?" It s not really a question but more of a dazed reaction as my mind pushes me into shock at what s happened. Verbalizing the truth, I slump down across the back seat as silent tears fall down my face, diagonally across my cheek like cold, sobering smears and soak the cold leather of the truck. "I m sorry, Lorey. I know they were all you had. We never knew this was coming." Colton s voice is shaky and low. Shame and regret tainting his normally sexy huskiness. We share the agony, but it doesn t lighten the load. Insides twisting in cruel heartache as it sinks in fully. In the blink of an eye, they re all gone. Just like ten years ago. The sad thing was, until this moment, I hadn t thought they were what I had at all. We were never a pack, or a family, in my mind before, but now, those others, they matter more than I ever gave them credit for. Even Vanka, my roommate for ten lonely years, and I would give anything right now to have her get in this truck and blow smoke in my face. My heart crashes inside my chest as the most painful, debilitating heaviness hits me hard, and I let out a mournful sob that turns to a howl as my body turns without me trying. I lie on the back seat, breaking inside once again. My body reverting to my wolf form to heal me from the agony my heart is in. A defense mechanism because my instincts think I m dying all over again—how ironic. The most heart-wrenching howl I ve ever heard leaves my body, fills my ears, and echoes into the eeriest silence of the dark world around us. First my blood family, then my pack, and now my unwanteds. Is there nowhere to run where fate won t deliver me the worst kind of blow and take everyone from me?