9 Unhealthy Obsession

It was Sunday the next day and Sarah spent the entire morning in bed after God knows how many weeks of being the first one in the office. She finally got out of her bed around 11 a.m. to get ready and head out to have her weekly brunch with Hannah. The event had gone smoothly yesterday, Everly was happy and at the end of the night as Sarah bid her goodbye Everly asked her to set up a meeting so they could start discussing the wedding. Sarah still couldn’t believe it, the Wilkins were the definition of what you call ‘uber-rich’, they were richer than entire countries. This wedding was going to be like a royal wedding, in terms of extravagance and luxury at least, with a guest list including all the celebrities and Sarah could not believe that she would get to plan it, this would officially bring her company into the major leagues. Every time she thought about it, it brought tears to her eyes and made her heart swell with pride and joy. This was her dream, this was her everything. This meant that she had finally made it. She had grown up in a typical working-class family. Her parents had gotten pregnant with her when they were in their 1st year of college, their families cut off ties with them and so her parents got married and spent her childhood working odd jobs so they could provide her with just the most basic necessities. During her childhood, she didn’t feel that they were financially struggling in any way. To her 7-year-old mind, they were enclosed in their own little world where everything was perfect and happiness was constant. She always had everything she could have wanted, one of her parents was always with her on most occasions, they would take her out every chance they got, and they made everything seem fun whether it was a grocery store run or even filing taxes. She remembers her birthdays being the occasions her mom would save up for, she would cut out coupons and cut corners wherever she could so they could go all out for her birthdays or create fun party themes for her with so much creativity and D-Y-I’s and she remembers all of that till today, they all made up some of her fondest memories till date. It all changed when the twins came, their parents had planned this pregnancy, but they hadn’t prepared for two and if there is one thing you need to know about babies, it is the fact that having one is expensive. Change didn't mean the typical stuff that happens when younger siblings come in the house like her getting less attention and the typical jealousy, it wasn’t like that for her for the most part. The first year after the twins came, there was a permanent tense atmosphere in the house. Besides those rare moments of joy when they would sit as a family and just joke around, most of the time there were worry lines etched into Sarah’s parents' faces and by that time Sarah was old enough to notice them and to know what they meant. She almost never saw her father, he would work 7 days a week and whenever he was home, he was too tired to do much. With two newborns and no help, there wasn’t much her mom could do besides try to stay afloat with housework and cooking plus tending to the kids. She remembers how when the twins were toddlers, her parents had this huge fight, it was late at night and she was supposed to be asleep but she heard it all. It started with slowly rising voices coming from their room next door, it was about Sarah’s father forgetting to pay the utilities bill, then it was about the general finances, then it was about how tired my mother was caring for 3 children all on her own and then it just escalated. Not able to keep their voices down, the pair moved their fight to their small backyard, that is where they exploded. To this day Sarah lets them believe she didn’t hear anything, but she heard it all and she can hear it to this day. That was the point where she started changing. She stopped asking her parents for things, she refused to do much for her birthday, and all in all, she did her utmost to be independent of them, well as independent as an 8-9-year-old can be. With time, things got better for them, her parents reconnected with their families and moved closer to them. Now her mom started working as well while her grandparents would look after the kids, her father got promoted at work with a raise, and with her mom working as well, he reduced his working hours and the financial situation eased out. But the damage was done to Sarah. As she grew up she started taking on more of her own responsibilities, mowing lawns in the summers and babysitting over the weekends, she also got a job at a local pizzeria when she started high school. Her parents just assumed that she wanted to be independent. Their good kid, oldest daughter, and she let them think that it wasn't anything deeper than that, she liked being the child that they didn’t have to worry about and that is what pushed her to this point. She was successful, she would never have to face the same struggles they had to, and they would never have to fight over money. She had developed this need to succeed and earn as much as could. It was not because she liked to do well in her field but it was for the fact that no-one should have unfulfilled desires in her family. She liked to think it was an aspiration but deep down she knew that it was an obsession and not coming from a healthy perspective. As emotional as this entire spiel was, this was what kept recurring in her head as she thought about this milestone she had hit. She couldn’t help it, but as she entered the place where she had to meet up with Hannah half an hour ago, she pushed all these thoughts away from her mind that gave her anxiety, wiped the corner of her eyes noticing the sudden moisture that had accumulated there, and got ready to celebrate. Hannah was seated in the corner of the restaurant, with mimosas ready. “Yay! My fancy, rich people wedding planner bestie is here!” she squealed as soon as she spotted Sarah, got up and rushed to squeeze her into a hug. They finally settled down into their seats and were ready to place their orders. As they sipped on their mimosas in comfortable silence, Sarah spoke up, “Did you hear anything from the authorities about your hit and run?” Hannah’s expression transformed within seconds from elation to fury “ You will not believe the utter bullshit I am about to tell you…”