Chapter 9

I still feel shaken, even hours after coming down here and welcoming the first flow of Alexi's clientele and I cannot shift the feeling of foreboding and anxiety gnawing at my bones. He has yet to appear, he never followed me out of the apartment when I fled, and he hasn't summoned me back upstairs either. I would be happy if he stayed upstairs for the rest of the night and sobered up, but I know he needs to be down here for his club's very first night. I don't like the side to him I met, and I have no desire to see it again so soon. The confidence in the opinion I formed of him over these last weeks has been shattered, and I am back to feeling like I don't know him at all. That sinister man from my hospital room and how in awe I was. I should have realised then that he had more layers than an onion and I have barely taken the top one off. Alexi aside, everything is going smoothly. We have drunk men molesting half dressed women as they all sit and smoke, getting high in the lounge. The strip act has turned lesbian show on our new stage and drinks are fast flowing as they are served to both the lounge and the bedrooms where some have already taken their spoils. Alexi has two important suits in the VIP lounge upstairs and our trio of experienced Dom ladies are up there giving them a private party. Everything is ticking along like a well-oiled machine, even if I am a complete nervous wreck. I am the hostess with the mostest. Smiles with charm and tending to everyone's needs, making sure security are watching every room discreetly, keeping an eye on all that is going on while appearing to be sipping champagne and schmoozing enjoyably. I have double checked that all weapons were checked at the door and put under lock and key. Alexi has this club set up for maximum control, thought of every detail, and yet he's nowhere to be seen on his first night. I can't stop watching the door in angsty anticipation, dreading the moment he does appear. I expected him down hours ago. He is too anal about being in charge to not show at all, so I am under no illusion that he will stay away. I wander around checking drinks, checking the supply of precious white powder and that other preferred narcotics are being dished out in low doses. We want fun not death, and we have the men keeping limits on all they hand out. We must take care of our members when they become too intoxicated for their own good. They come to kick back and relax and it's our job to make sure it stays that way. One of the men nods my way and I take it as a gesture to go over, moving across to where he's stood, and he nods towards one of the boudoir doors that is sitting open. I frown, pissed that we gave every member a personal key card for these rooms and told them to keep them closed when in use. Our security has access that overrides all locks should we need to rescue one of our escorts and yet here we are with one sitting open while in use during busy time. Anyone could wander in and start unnecessary drama or embarrassment. Some of these men prefer their kinks to be hidden—discreet is the whole point of the boudoirs. I walk over and push my head in before closing it, in case there is a reason it's sitting that way and get a complete eyeful of a naked old man pleasuring himself in the middle of the room, while Candy our school girl fetish jumps on the bed singing nursery rhymes to him. It's more than enough for me and I yank the door shut so it latches with a loud click over the top of the loud house music. I could see the pleasure he got from being seen and I guess he is a bit of an exhibitionist who likes to be watched while getting off. He hoped someone would walk in and check the door, it was just my luck it was me. I may have to bleach my brain later to remove that ugly eyeful. ''Make sure his door is always closed. Don't bother checking inside first, just pull it shut and he will soon get the hint.'' I tell my burly man and figure I should learn the new security by name if I am going to be dealing with this kind of weird shit. Our members have no idea the rooms are filmed for safety, and I am not about to tell our kink prick in there he can be watched with his door closed. I leave him to watch the doors in the narrow hallway and move to head out to the quiet part of the bar on the far end, nearer the main entrance where it's quieter. There's no one over here as the lounge seems to be the favourite spot so far, and we still have guests to arrive tonight. ''London?'' Alexi's voice startles me from behind and I turn in fright, losing my calm demeanour in a flash and I try to reel it back in without being too obvious. Blood pressure immediately back up to dangerous levels and loss of all calm. ''Carrero?'' I reply warily, avoiding looking him directly in the eye. Heart resumes previous unearthly pounding as my body runs cold and hits high alert. I feel awkward around him, like the first night I ever met him. Out of my depth and unsure how to act. ''Can we talk … Upstairs?'' He seems normal once more, maybe a little too normal for my liking. It's almost like he's trying to be reasonable and show me he has sobered up completely, but I am more than wary of him right now. Even if he has come down from his artificial high, I saw that other side and now I can't undo it. ''I can't leave your first night unsupervised. It'd be very irresponsible of me, Boss.'' I smile softly hoping I sound genuine, look relaxed and unaffected, when really, my sweaty palms and trembling body tell me that is not entirely true. Truth being I don't want to be alone with him. He sighs heavily and clicks his fingers at the bartender, motioning two at him and points at the wall of expensive whiskies we had imported for his members. He serves only the best in here and his drink of choice is anything that puts hairs on your chest with one sip. I don't refuse the drink choice, knowing better than to find fault with a command right now. The tender goes straight to it as Alexi motions for me to sit on one of the high leather stools instead of leaving here and I sit obediently. Relieved he has compromised for a ringside seat and I can at least relax that he would not publicly flog me. There is enough security around here to deter any Alexi psycho moments. I hope. ''I want to apologise for what happened. I normally avoid sampling my own shit on top of drinking all day, but Gino has a way of getting inside my head.'' He sits next to me and rests his arms on the bar and I just sit stiffly, regarding him quietly. Not sure if this is another charm offensive to smooth over, seeing glimpses of the real him, or a genuine apology. I know I don't know him. In fact, I have not even nearly begun to graze the surface of this man in the last few months. ''He's your brother; I believe that's what siblings excel at. I'm sure being twins must be worse.'' I jest with an empty smile plastered in place and a smooth tone to mask how uneasy I feel. The bubbling tension tying my stomach in knots is unsettling. ''I didn't mean to scare you. Gino didn't mean half the shit he said either, so disregard it. It's about getting back at me and nothing to do with you. He's still sore about me hitting him when we were teens and when he's on something he turns into a shithead, a bit like I do.'' He gives me a one-shoulder shrug and dips his head as he works out a knot in his other. Avoiding my eye for a second and I think I am seeing the very first hints of genuine emotion from the man. A sincere apology and a touch of remorse for Gino. ''So he said … Did you really put your twin in intensive care? How mad must you have been to almost kill your own brother?'' The shiver which runs down my spine makes me visibly flinch, and he sits back when the bartender slides our drinks to us and walks away. The club staff know not to hang around the people who come here, to listen in. That shit will get you bumped off. I focus on my glass and not on him. ''I hit him once. I didn't beat him or even try to seriously hurt him. I was just pissed and lashed out … I just caught him the wrong way and it almost killed him. He had a bleed on the brain, and he will never let me forget it either. For some crazy reason he tries to make me snap like that again whenever he's on a high.'' Alexi looks odd, sort of guilty I guess although it's hard to judge a facial expression that I am not used to seeing on him. I can tell underneath all that shit earlier he really does care about his brother even if the two of them are fucked up in the head with how they are together. Who knew the beast actually has a heart? ''Your brother's got mental issues.'' I mean why else would you poke the bear that is Alexi, that takes all kinds of stupid and a lack of caring about your health. I'm sitting here sweating buckets over his change in persona and Gino is over there intentionally aiming for one. Guy's crazy. ''I think it runs in my family.'' He nudges me with his shoulder and it's a weirdly friendly manoeuvre, not him at all and catches me a little off guard. A moment of that guy who sporadically shows his face and for a second seems a million miles away from the guy I know. I relax immediately with the hint of softer. Starting to really let go of what happened upstairs when faced with normal Alexi. ''Was that a try at funny? Did you just make a joke?'' I can't help the smile of relief that washes over me, that he's back to being just his bastard self instead of psycho self. His pupils are larger, and I wonder if his no-show was him just giving himself time to come down and level out. Getting that crap out of his system so he could act less insane. He knows he must be more controlled, even in his own domain. ''I do occasionally make them. So, tell me London, how's first night show time coming along?'' He drinks his booze in one shot and taps his glass on the bar to get another, the tender running obediently to comply, and I just swirl mine around disinterested in getting a foggy head tonight when I must be on the ball. I was never a whisky fan at the best of times. All previous drama forgotten between us. ''Boringly content and quiet. Your little sex club is ticking along quite nicely, and everyone is behaving.'' I nod along to the loud area in the sunken room, and we watch as a tall stout man is led along the discreet hallway by two girls giggling and flirting mercilessly with him, one is already topless and stops to kiss her counterpart seductively. Alexi sighs and turns to his fresh drink with a look of complete disinterest; not a guy that's happy his new venture is being a first night success. He seems listless and agitated, as though he doesn't really want to be here. ''Let's go upstairs. You don't have to be afraid to be alone with me. I won't hurt you.'' He throws me a glance and I watch him for a moment, something still quite off in his demeanour, trying to second guess this sudden invitation to hang out with a guy who rarely puts up with my company. It's not something we do when it's not work related. ''What about watching over this … isn't that what you pay me for?'' I wave my hand back at the club and he just shrugs it off. ''I pay you to do what I say, and I want you upstairs with me tonight.'' He repeats sternly, and I catch the little flicker of a jaw muscle. He may seem like he is back to normal, but there is a restlessness and hint of aggression peeking through. I normally see him this way when business stresses him out and he lets off steam by fucking the life out of some bimbo upstairs. It doesn't sound like it's just for a nightcap and an early to sleep routine if he is giving me the invitation instead of rounding up a fresh kill. Alexi is looking to release his excessive energy, and he is looking at me to vent into. I falter, a refusal on my lips as nerves get the better of me but there is that stirring deep inside of me that knows I want to know what it's like; If that is what he intends with this invitation. All the butterflies and tingles he gives me with his close proximity will be more intense if he screws me, and the thought sends a little shiver of anticipation through me, every part of my reproductive system perks up and shimmies itself to attention. ''I thought you said no sex.'' It's out without thought, putting my cards on the table because we both know that's what he is suggesting, and he smiles at me softly. No qualms, no denial that's what this is. ''So did I. Maybe Gino has a point and this, us, is tension. There's always something between us that usually ends in hostility; If I get it over and done with then I might not be so … possessive of my toys.'' He smirks, making a funny over his cray-cray upstairs and I shake my head at him. Unable to stop the genuine smile breaking free because we both know that is exactly what he is and it relieves the last of my uneasy tension. Just when I think he's a complete arse he goes and makes a self-depreciating joke about one of his biggest flaws and melts my ice a little. Carrero is a weird one. ''I don't think it's a wise move. We have a business relationship and sex, even casual, can make a mess of everything. We know where we stand right now. Don't muddy the waters Carrero, it's not like you.'' I get up to move away determined not to let this change, despite my body yearning to have him inside of me now he has planted that seed in my head. I ignore the way my underwear is heating up and remind myself that it's better to keep everything on a flat platform where we both know where the line lies. I'm aware that adrenaline from fear can boost my libido crazily, and that's all this is. I'm horny and looking for release because he scared the shit out of me. 'BOB' will take care of it later. Alexi catches me by the hip and draws me to him, even though I am trying to get away discreetly, and he is having none of it. He slides his glass back and stands up, moving in a flash, so he's face to face, pulling me against him bodily with minimal effort. I pause, holding my breath as he moves in and runs a finger across my cheek as he slides a strand of hair away. My skin erupts with fire and goosebumps and I stifle the urge to push him away, heart pounding at the very real possibility he is contemplating this, and I just turned to putty with a touch. Alexi is strong and solid and very male, all the things which make my body peak and warm to aching for sex. I should tell him No, make it clear that this is dumb, yet a tiny part of me is tempted, even if I am clawing myself inside in fear of what this step might do. The tingling gnawing throb in my nether regions is clouding any rational thoughts, as grey eyes lock on mine and keep me captive. ''Sex means nothing to me. It's just something I like and do. It won't change anything except take away the temptation. Clear the air.'' I don't know if he is trying to convince me or himself with that statement and I want to say we should stop, yet my body is practically peeling its own clothes off. I have no selfcontrol when it comes to this man being this close. That weirdness about him is still in the air and I wonder if it's still the aftereffects of whatever strength of his own coke he was snorting. That would and could explain this complete U-turn in what he wants, and I truly do not know what to do. Sense says run, my naughty inner goddess who hasn't been fucked in so long is saying open your legs and have the time of your life. Alexi has been a lure from day one and the being denied him has only made this more tempting. My head is a mess as I try to figure out what the hell to do. Open a can of worms, mess, hostility, and destroy the puzzle of us that I am not sure I would know how to put back together, to say screw it 'let's have sex' and do things to me I have fantasised about for weeks. Or say no and stop myself leaping into the fire and probably regret not taking the chance. If he is this possessive now, what will letting him sleep with me do? And what about his tastes in what he likes to do during sex? I can't be tied up and I won't be his submissive either. There are things from my past which have left their mark, internally engraved in me and certain sexual scenarios that I know I'll freak out over. No matter how much I have tried to overcome them. He doesn't seem like someone you give boundaries to. ''Sex isn't something I get emotional over either; it doesn't mean it won't change things, Alexi.'' I sound feeble and there is no real hint of refusal in my tone. I know where my body is swaying anyway. I'm almost glued to him and my pelvis is naturally trying to feel out how well-endowed he is. Even I know he's put this line up, and we should leave it alone. I'm scared, yet I'm crazy horny for him. ''Alexi? What happened to Carrero?'' He smirks at me and before I get a chance to say anything he swoops in and catches my mouth with his, moulding his lips to mine effortlessly and somehow teases me open in the blink of an eye as he kisses me seductively. It literally halts everything inside of me and I'm stunned and powerless to do anything except be kissed by him. Moulding my lips to fit his as his tongue trails mine softly and I swear I'm on the verge of falling into weak euphoria when an all-out panic attack and an overwhelming sense of terror sweeps through me. Alexi kisses me a little too well. Almost like he was made to do it and I shove him away hard. Clawing back my sanity somewhat and realising that kiss was the first time in my life that passion and desire threatened to consume me on a whole other level. I could lose control and myself in him if that kiss is a hint of what is to come. This is such a really bad idea. ''No kissing.'' I breathe frantically, clawing sanity back and pushing our faces far enough apart to be able to gasp for air. He doesn't release his hold on me though and just looks amused. ''Why?'' He laughs at me, and I just shake my head at him, grasping for sanity. Trying to get my thoughts in order and my racing heart under control. Full bodily reaction to that mouth. ''It's too personal and … intimate. It takes it from sex to something else.'' I untangle myself from him, mumbling nervously. His hands have slid around my waist as I try to give myself space, but he looks completely unaffected and just gazes at me. That infuriating Carrero confidence oozing out of every pore and I hate the fact that his kiss made the earth move for me, but he just looks … Normal. Ughhh ''Fine by me. No kissing isn't a huge deal … Sure I can just concentrate on fucking you instead. Shall we?'' He holds out his arm and I just frown at him, not even at the stage of agreeing with this, yet it seems I already have, and I literally stand here in two minds about what to do. He is way too sure that he has me and out of stubbornness alone, I should tell him to jog on. Sex with him or not? Fuck! This is the worst idea and all my plans of using him for my own gain have long since died. Don't be stupid Camilla … Listen to your gut and back the fuck away. He's too unpredictable and volatile a force to be manipulated. Playing games and trying to work out his weaknesses are too big a task and he reads people better than I ever could. If I have sex with him it will be purely for the act itself and no ulterior motive and I can't say I am not tempted. I haven't had sex with anyone for so long and there is only so much my vibrator can do for me. Real sex when it's done well with an accommodating male is so much better. Alexi is my idea of a wet dream and my curiosity is aching to know what he will feel like all over me and inside of me; he could be the best sex I have had in a long time or a complete disappointment and a mere mortal in bed. I need to remember who I am contemplating sleeping with. Alexi Carrero—terrifying, cold mafia boss. The guy goes from disdain to tolerant around me in swings and roundabouts daily. And this change in him is down to ideas from his twin and drug-fuelled clouded thinking. I shouldn't let him take control of me this way. I take his arm regardless, no longer in control of my impulses and curse myself inwardly for being so weak. I'm playing right into his hands and giving him the upper hand, yet my knickers are already self-combusting at the thought of sex with him. I want to know if he has the skill to match the persona, even if it's the worst mistake of my life. I've always been an idiot who lived on the edge of danger and craved excitement. Carrero is like a huge vat of toxic soup and with my idiotic sense of adventure, I just dived right in.