Chapter 43

My suspicious brain immediately jumps to the worst kind of conclusions and I pale … blood running icy cold through my veins as my breathing labours. The thought that maybe he wants me to finish the job I didn't do very well last time I put a gun to my head flits through my mind. Maybe he's arming me so next time I can just do it somewhere alone where he won't have to sit and watch or feel obliged to intervene. I try to pull my head out of the gutter, but my trembling hands and light head are hitting me with all sorts of warnings. Alexi doesn't seem fazed at all. 'It's for you, take it. I need to show you how to handle it.' He just carries on as though he's oblivious to my complete freak-out. 'I don't want it!' It's out as fast as a lightning bolt, panic hitting hard, and no matter what he has going on in that clever head I am avoiding it at all costs. 'I don't care. I need you to carry one from now on. I need you to be comfortable handling it.' He hol