Chapter20: I Am A Fool

I was fidgeting when Oliver insisted that I should ride on his big bike. I don't have plans to be with him. I wanted to be on the bus rather than to ride at his back because I knew, once I let myself go with him, my heart would betray me, and I am afraid if I could no longer hide my feelings for him. And even if it hurts me that he is with the cheerleader captain, I am still hoping that one day he will look at me with tenderness. I expected that he would like me too, but I know it is absurd. I need to stop myself because he is not even the ideal boy for me, and this is not me anymore since this is the first time I wish someone would like me badly. I never beg any boy to like me or to be with me because they always chase me around, and I'm just wondering why I am feeling this way towards Oliver. I ignored him all I could, and I tried to look away from his handsome face as possible, hoping that the bus would come right away. It feels like the odds were against me since the bus didn't arr