Chapter 104

I miss proper food. Cooked dinners, hot drinks, snacks. I miss milky cocoa, walking around barefoot on the carpet, and having a light switch to illuminate the shadowy corners. I miss having a soft bed and a safe room to close off at night and not worrying about always having one eye open. I miss the noise of the others in other rooms and down hallways. I miss Meadow and the sub pack, and I dare I say it ... I miss him too. If I’m honest, I miss him more than everything else combined, and then some. Even if I hate him for all of this and will never forgive him for marking Carmen, I can still admit my need hasn’t wavered. I can’t even think about it without bringing back the agony which shadows my every move and pushing it back down in the depths to shut it off. I watch the fat seep out of the meat as the stone heats up and it sizzles, giving off an aroma that reminds me of the mess hall. Not that rabbit was a typical smell, and I have to swallow back that instant choking regret I get of