Chapter 18 Is There A Second Chance For Us?

Never did I think that my heart will break once again. Was I a fool to believe that something so innocent with Trinity will work? Bullshit! Once again, I need to remind myself, do not bang the boss s daughter! Guess it was failed from the start, yes it was a thrilling ride, but I need to stop for one moment and take a step back, for, beyond all the craziness that filled our lives, I need to allow myself to remember why I do not get involved. What made it all worthwhile was having her in my arms. I always thought that I have no purpose if I did not have her presence in my life. With Trinity, I needed to prove myself as the man I wish she would desire. Guess I have failed myself, not even to mention her as well. Ya…I am soft. To have beauty in your life is easy, but to have the beauty of the woman that you love and the one that loves you in return is the greatest gift that one can experience. I can, with all honesty, say that there is no doubt that she completed my life. To be lonely for eternity can be seen as a life sentence, but having what you crave, is the greatest blessing. Bullshit! I was never more assured that she would be mine. Guess once again; I need to remind myself that I am so out of her league. I promised her my deepest love, my fullest devotion, my tenderest care through the pressures of the present and the uncertainties of the future. I committed myself to love her. I knew that our love was heaven-sent, and I promised that I shall be there forever and always. My heart will be her shelter, and my arms will be her home. Those are just the words of a delusional man. The fact that she ever believed the shit that came from these lips goes beyond me. Fuck. This hurts. The whole messed up thing is that she did not only live in her own body; she lived in mine too. We were part of each other; we were one. I can still hear her footsteps in the passageways of my heart. Her voice echoes through my veins. I can see her face in the mirrors of my memories. She has engraved herself deep into my soul. She will forever be a part of me. But that is where the memory ends, I might love Trinity, but there is a bigger part of me that does not want to be with her. Ya...It is easier said than done. Who knew that brat would have stolen my heart the way that she did? That she would look up and smile at me, that she stopped me from running away, stop making me exit and stay. Would I ever go back to her if she asks me to? No fucking way. What she brings to my life laid like the beautiful colors of a perfect autumn in my soul. She has made me change in so many ways; I lived with myself for so long that I did not know that I could be a better man. But yet she excepted me the way I was; it scared me that she gave up everything to be with a man like me. She took my loneliness away and vowed to spend her life with me. Well, once again, that is just a load of shit that came from my mouth again. So after making my elegant exit from the Stone mansion, I find myself at home with a bottle of whiskey… Fuck the glass. I am here sitting and flipping through my phone, thinking of a time when it was so much easier just to dial a number and have no strings attached sex for just one night. Will I do it now? Will I indulge myself in the lifestyle I used to have? No. Maybe. Perhaps. Depends how far this bottle of whiskey goes. Then again, the less I see a woman, the far greater it would be, ya…Trinity has ruined me. Guess when I said she would be my undoing, I should have made it clear, for she has brought me down to my knees. Not in the way I wish it would be. Why the fuck did she had to go kiss Castenada, not once, but twice. I know that there is this whole fuck up thing with her becoming Mafia Queen, but god, can Vic not grow a pair and sort shit out as a reasonable man would. So that was the length of my relationship with Trinity Stone. Well, let us look at it this way, Vic will not have to know now. I am sure by now she has heard the word from him. I guess she would have noticed that I have packed up. I shall not set my foot back there, not ever again. Vic is quite capable of finding a new detail. As for me, well fuck! there goes my business. Fuck. Why did you have to bang the boss s daughter? So as I wallow in my own self-pity, my phone starts to light up. Trinity Stone. Well, what do I do now? Answer and tell her to leave me alone? Or do I hope she gets the message if I ignore her? Well, let us try the ignore part first. The phone goes silent for a few brief seconds before it persistently starts to light up again. Now is this girl going to flood my inbox with a million messages saying how sorry she is? Do I even care if she is sorry? Well, let us ignore her for another few seconds and then decide how I feel about that. So I grab another bottle of whiskey. Ya…I just finished the whole damn thing. Guess drunken texting is soon going to set in. Yes, men do that shit too; it is not a woman thing. But it is far debatable if a woman shall finish an entire bottle of whiskey. But regardless, there is a second one that needs to be finished. Fuck…I am getting pissed. Then as I thought, my damn phone starts lighting up again. Now, this girl is persistent or just eager to tell me a bunch of lies again. What could possibly be next? Oh, fuck! I had sex with Castenada. Hey, the woman has already stung me deeply; I guess there is not any deeper than it can get. Ya…Let us answer and she what little princess wants. "Hey." "Hi, Colton. Daddy said that you left." "Well, I think that was kind of obvious when you were staring out the window at me." "Why?" "Oh, god, do I need to refresh your memory, or has Castenada s kisses rendered you completely drunk." "It was only…" "Stop, I do not want to hear." Then from the other side, I hear her start to tremble as the words seem to become heavy from her heart. Well, there is just one thing I can say…That shit does not sit well with me. She can cry as long and as hard as she desires, now my only question is, "Why did you phone?" "Please, will you come back?" "Fuck! Did you just hear what you said? Do you think I for one second will take you back?" "Colton, why are you so mean to me?" "Trinity, why did you break my heart?" There is no word spoken from her side. Ya…did not think she would have an answer for that. Guess the love I thought we had was just an illusion of a delusional man. A delusional man that is about to put the phone down in her ear, "Trinity, please, do not hurt me even more than you already have. But can I tell you one fucked up thing? I still love your bratty ass. And I can tell you this, even if it takes me forever, I will get over you." With that, the phone finds its way smack bang right into the trash. I am just a nobody bodyguard that thought he could get a woman that was never his from the start. It fucking hurts. And as I am sitting here, I can hear my phone vibrating in the bin. Should I get up? Should I stay here? Fuck that. Nice going Colton, now you are scratching in the trash. The moment I see the screen...Trinity Stone...my damn heart gives in. "Yes, Trinity." "Colton, I love you." Well, that only took five minutes to form three words. "I love you too Trinity, but our love is not enough for me to come back. You hurt me like a bitch and I don't think I am going to be in one piece very soon again." "But Colton, please. You know..." "No, I don't know. And I do not want to know." And just as I think my words will be enough to hurt her, she continues forward, "Please give us another chance?" "Please give me time."