CLARA

#Chapter14 CLARA Twenty years ago… Samuel smiles gently at me. “You’re right, Clara.” We are silent for a moment when he breaks the silence by asking me a question out of the blue. “Are you excited to find your mate?” “Are you kidding?” And it’s like a dam has been broken. “Of course, I’m excited. I just can’t wait for my birthday to come. I have dreamed of meeting my mate since I was five years old and could understand what mates were. I imagine how he would look how he would be, how in love we would be, how devoted we would be to each other.” I clasp my hands in front of my heart. “I can’t explain it to you. No words I have can explain my anticipation to you.” “I think you have done a pretty good job.” He smiles at me and I blush under his gaze. “You’ll find her, you know.” He looks up into my eyes, his body tense after hearing my words. “I know you are nervous about your birthday tomorrow and about finding a mate. And it’s not an issue if you don’t find your mate on the day itself, you know. It only means that if your mate is in the pack, she hasn’t reached the golden age of seventeen yet.” Samuel seems amused at my efforts at consoling him. “You mean to say, my mate could be someone younger than me? Someone your age, perhaps?” A furious blush rises to my cheeks and my eyes drop to my hands, unable to say anything to him in reply. “I’d like that, you know. I would be willing to wait.” I look up to meet his eyes but his gaze seems so far away, as if he’s forgotten I’m sitting here and he is talking to me. But I hope for my sanity that tomorrow at this time, I have my mate in my arms.” *** There is a heavy ball of grief roiling in my stomach. But visiting one’s family’s graves after almost twenty years will do that to you. No matter how much time passes, their loss still feels as present as ever. My parents never got to meet my husband and children. My brother never got to meet his mate, fall in love, and have children. Death seemed to cut off all prospects and it seemed so final because it was completely irreversible. What I wouldn’t give to have my family beside me in times like these? Thoughts like these made me end up crying for over an hour in my parked car outside the graveyard. Werewolves don’t particularly like change. So, even though, I had been away for almost twenty years, much of the pack lands were the same. Almost everywhere I looked, I could remember the younger version of me prancing about with friends and my family. I know that I had been ordered not to make any detours and come straight to the pack house but when I noticed a familiar restaurant, I couldn’t help but park my car and enter the establishment. Waves of nostalgia hit me as soon as I opened the door. Immediately memories from a different age hit me in full force and I almost didn’t hear the bell when the door finally closed behind me. With shaky feet, I move to the corner seat facing the windows. This was the seat my family occupied most of the time. I and my brother fought most of the time over who would get to sit in the aisle seat. I choked back a sob when my butt finally hit the worn-out cushion of the seat. I take several deep breaths to control myself and turn to look outside the window when my eyes land on her for the first time in almost two decades. Sophie Jones. Dressed in a skintight jean and a peach flowy top, she looked every bit as lovely as I remembered her to be. Twenty years ago, admitting this simple truth brought such pain to me. I had been so much in love with Samuel that his being with a pretty werewolf hurt me in so many ways. But now as I look at her and at how gorgeously she has aged and matured, all I feel is nothing. I don’t feel an ounce of jealousy, or any hatred towards her for stealing my mate. Perhaps, the moon goddess sometimes makes mistakes in choosing mates and my being mates with Samuel was one of them. My lips lift in a sardonic smile at all the events that led me to be where I am and I drag my eyes from her as she enters the beauty salon on the other side of the parking lot.   #