Chapter 12

Rigella's POV "Drink first, best ..." Roxanne laid a glass of milk on the center table. I smiled at her and sipped the milk. Seymour had just left to go to the office. He insisted earlier that he would accompany me here but I asked him to leave because I knew he had a lot of work to do. It's good that I forced him because it's obvious that he really wants to accompany me here. I also had good timing because Roxanne was still awake and watching TV. He said he was taking advantage of his day off because one day he was at work again. I can't blame her either, she doesn't really want to be an engineer. It was just his second choice and what he really wanted was to be an accountant. Just in case, engineering is what his parents want for him so he has no choice but to follow. "Get rid of that idiot ..." said Roxanne who in turn surprised me. I first lowered the glass to the center table and sighed. "I love her, Roxanne ... then Ice, I'm just worried about the child-" He cut off what I was going to say and sighed then sat next to me here on the couch. "So all this time, that's why you can't break up with her because of Ice?" She raised her eye brow and rolled her eyes. "Yes, I know how much you love and treasure your son. But how about you? Is it like this for the rest of your life? You'll always cry and get hurt. Tell me, best. Will you kill yourself with resentment, huh? " Her voice was calm but the annoyance on her face was obvious. I was devastated by what he said. I couldn"t keep quiet because I knew he had a point. "Seven years of pain is not good, Rigella. Especially since you're pregnant now ..." He fixed my messy hair. "You are a Chrysostom. Your family is influential, powerful, rich. You can choose one of your lawyers for the annulment. After all, he himself said that he does not love you and he will marry the bobita and his cunning girlfriend . E, go ahead of him. Then, he caused you so much pain. So, that's enough. That's enough please. Don't be stupid and be a martyr. You did your best just to save your marriage. That's enough. 'yon. You deserve to be happy and loved. Not like this. You don't deserve this ... " I bit my lower lip to stop myself to cry. This is not the time for me to break down. If only Roxanne was here with me today. It's funny that I just got out of the hospital but I'm emo now and thinking of things that will make me sad. Well, I can't help it. I know it's bad for me, for my baby but I'm already hurting so much that I can't help but release all the weight and pain here in my heart. And Roxanne is the one who can I count in for that. I want to get rid of the pain, I want to ... argh! I want to give up on this marriage but I can't! I love Ivan so much that no matter what pain I can endure, just don't lose him to me. I don't even know how many times I've made a fool of myself for him e. But no, I love him. I love him dearly no matter how stupid he is. "But Roxanne, I'm just thinking about the consequences when I break up with her. I don't want to be selfish. My children will be affected if I do that. They will lose their father ..." "Then for the first time, be selfish. For the first time, think about yourself. Look at what happened today, you contacted him, you asked for help but he didn't go to you. He doesn't care about you, Rigella "Even if there isn't ..." It was as if thousands of needles had pierced my chest. The saying "truth hurts" is true. For the first time in seven years, it just now sinks in on me. Roxanne is right, she doesn"t care about me. "So please, I'm the one who feels sorry for you, stop this already. It's enough to be a fool, it's enough to be a martyr. He already inflicted you so much pain. It's enough ..." I was stunned by what he said. I also couldn't answer him right away. Should I really need to stop all of this? But what about my son? I don't want him to grow up without a whole family. And, my baby. He is a man who does not have a whole family. But what about me? Can I still do it? Can I still fight? Can I still fight even if I am fighting alone? "Give me time, Roxy. Just give me some time. I want to think first if I'm doing the right thing. And when the right time comes, maybe, I'll stop from holding on. I'll stop from being a stupid wife. I'll stop all of these shits ... " I know that I really hurt Ivan because they couldn't marry Lara before. Pero, don't he think that this is too much? I think he hurt me so much over and over again as if I just wanted to die of the disease. Should I blame him for that? She tapped my shoulder then smiled faintly. "Alright. But I hope, you can make a decision right away. But whatever your decision is, I'm just here, okay? I always got your back. Me and Seymour. We won't leave you ..." I smiled. I really am lucky. "Thank you, Roxanne ..." ~ • ~ "I'll go with you inside ..." My eyes widened at what Seymour said. It was morning and I was there at Roxanne's condo spending the night. Seymour has now brought me here to the house because I am already worried about my son. "H ... Huh?" I was shocked by the question. He took a deep breath. "I said, I'll come with you inside the house. I want to make sure that you will be okay ..." I stared at him for a while to be sure. He seemed determined to be with me inside so I could do nothing but blink emphatically and nod. Until I walked in, he supported me. I told him that I'm okay but he still supports me. When we went inside, the maids greeted me immediately. They have a look of astonishment on their faces because maybe Seymour is with me inside. When we got to the living room I didn"t expect what I saw. I closed my eyes sharply and averted my eyes. I smirked bitterly, I just saw Ivan and Lara kissing torridly. They are no longer embarrassed, they are still here in the living room. I heard Seymour sneeze so I woke up and saw out of the corner of my eye that Lara and Ivan had stopped what they were doing. I turned to Seymour and he smiled sarcastically. "As far as I know it's a living room and not a bedroom ..." Seymour said emphatically causing my eyes to widen. I turned to Lara and Ivan. Ivan has a bad opinion of Seymour while Lara has a bad opinion of me. I just stared at the caterpillar and met his gaze. "What the fvck are you doing here?" I was almost swallowed up by the coldness of Ivan's voice. "Ah, I'm here because I took your wife home. Isn't it obvious, De Leon?" Seymour said sarcastically. Ivan looked at me badly so I averted my eyes and grabbed Seymour's arm. If the look was just disgusting, I might have been torn apart earlier because of Ivan's sharp gaze. "Get out of my house. You're not welcome here." Ivan's voice was still cold. Seymour's eyes narrowed at the extreme edge of his stare at Ivan. "You have no rights to kick me out of this house, De Leon. This is also Rigella's house and I'm her friend, so I'm welcome here." I just swallowed the answer of the two. Jusko, are they still going to fight? I'm so stressed now. My grip tightened on Seymour's arm so he looked at me. He smiled slightly and looked at Ivan again. "Get your friend out of this house, Rigella." Ivan said but I just looked at him. I wanted to get out of here but I couldn't move my legs. "Don't you ever order him, De Leon ..." Seymour said emphatically and I saw his fist clench. I looked at Lara and she just smiled. Isn"t he nervous about these two? Shameless woman. "Why can't I? She's my wife, Alcantara." Ivan grinned and he looked at my hand holding Seymour's arm. His face darkened and his gaze stung me so I averted my gaze again. "Your wife? Hah! Are you joking, De Leon? You call her as your wife now?" Seymour burst out laughing. Lara sneezed and looked at me. I just raised an eyebrow at him and stared. Epal is really a caterpillar. "We're married, Alcantara, you know that. So technically, she is my wife." Ivan's emphasis. "She's not, De Leon. You never treat her as your wife ..." I swallowed, I seemed to know where it was going. "That's enough ..." I said softly as the three of them turned to me. "Bitch." I heard Lara mumbled. "Same to you." I said and stared at him. "What did you say ?!" Annoyed Lara said and stepped closer to me. "I said right, same to you. Are you deaf?" My blood is starting to boil in this woman. He was about to slap me but good thing, my reflexes were fast and I broke his hand. "Don't let that dirty palm of yours land on my cheek if you don't want to bleed your face now. You want?" I could stand the challenge and I saw the fear in his eyes. Serves you right, bitch. I violently let go of his hand and stared at him. Don't let him hurt me especially now that I have a baby in my womb. We stared at each other for a while, me and Lara, Seymour and Ivan. I didn't expect that this will happen. I just came home here and yet it immediately dawned on me. For a moment more silence prevailed. I think, this is the perfect timing to end my decision. This is the right thing to do. The three of us will be face to face and good thing Seymour is with me. I sighed and changed my gaze. "I already filed an annulment. Let's stop this shit already, I'm tired." No emotion I say. Almost at the same time their eyes widened at what I said. What I have said was true, I called one of our lawyers last night to file an annulment for me. I used Ivan"s femininity to keep that going. I turned my gaze back to Ivan again and I couldn"t read his expression. But I know deep inside, he is happy because he will be able to get rid of the "lintek" we married. After seven years of pain, I just now thought of quitting. It's too painful but this is the right thing to do. I want ... our lives to be in order again. I faced Ivan with a smile plastered on my lips. "You just see me as an option. Maybe, it's time I see you as a memory ..." I said then left them dumbfounded.

Rigella's POV

"Thank you, Attorney ..." I said to Atty. Romualdez when he handed me the annulment papers.

As I expected, the annulment I requested was processed quickly. Why? Because I'm a Crisostomo, we have lots of connections so ... this is it. I made it right for Ivan to hurt me emotionally and most of all ... physically so this annulment will be processed quickly.

At first, of course, I was a little hesitant about what I was going to do because of course because of my son. But I thought he would be even more hurt when he found out that his daddy and I were together but we didn't love each other.

And one more thing, this is the right thing to do for our situation. I am also the one who will suffer if I continue to cling to our marriage. Tska, I accept everything, finally. Maybe ... Lara is really Ivan's great love so no matter what I do, he still can't love me. And it's funny that I understand him even if it hurts.

I already signed the papers even though my hands are shaking, because of nervousness. I was nervous before because I might not be able to handle it but I thought about the things I realized last night. Maybe ... it will be worth my decision in the future. Sana lang.

I felt Seymour hold my hand so I smiled at him. This guy ... this guy never left me even though I inflicted pain on him. Hopefully ... the time will come when I will be able to reciprocate his love for me because I know it's worth it when I entrust my heart to him. He is worth it.

We left the law firm and immediately got in his car here in the parking lot. I leaned back in the chair and sighed. I closed my eyes and smiled. Everything happened so fast, I never imagined I would do it. That I can do it. This is an achievement for me. Weird, right?

"Let me do the honor to send him those papers ..." Seymour said causing me to wake up and turn to him.

I bit my lower lip and held his hand. "I'm the one who will give these papers to him, Seymour. I want to give him these ... personally." I smiled at him and bowed slightly.

His forehead creased. "But ... But why? You want to get separated with him and yet-"

I interrupted what he was going to say and smiled. "That's the point, Seymour. I'm going to separate from her so I'll give it to her myself so ... so that I can get my child. It's in the contract that if she signs these annulment papers, our marriage will expire and he has full rights to Ice. I don't want to get involved with him anymore nor see him anymore. "

That was actually my plan in the first place. I don't want him to have any more rights to Ice because he doesn't have a father. He could've just reconcile with me and live with me happily for the sake of Ice ... but he didn't. So, this is what he got.

Seymour sighed and took my hand again. "Do you want to go to your house now? So that you can give me those papers?" He asked.

I puckered my lips. Now right away? "Hmm, okay. So that I can get my son right away and so that he can sign these papers and when they are passed to the court ..."

Seymour nodded quietly and tightened his grip on my hand. Until the car functioned he held my hand so I just let him. I just leaned back in the chair and just looked out the window. It's raining, maybe I should name my baby something connected to the rain? I smiled in that thought.

Then a question suddenly popped in my mind. Should I tell Ivan about my pregnancy? Besides, it's his child also.

But ... he fooled me. So, I'm not going to tell him about our baby. After all, all her rights to my baby were taken away when she didn't take me to the supermarket and just let us take our son's life there.

And I think, I know why. He's with Lara that time. I memorized his schedule and I knew the day he wasn"t busy. And that day, I am more than sure that he was not busy and just ... having a "quality time" with his so-called-girlfriend.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. Shouldn't I stop thinking about him now? He's not worth thinking for. He doesn't matter.

I did not realize that I was stunned and when the car stopped I only woke up in a trance. I looked in Seymour's direction but he wasn't the one I saw ... if not our house. The house I lived in for seven years.

I was stunned at home. I kept that house for a long time. But ... here it is and I will leave suddenly. I smirked bitterly, this is so ironic.

I was stunned when the door opened to my habit. I saw Seymour open it so I smiled at him sparingly. He helped me get out of the car. I adjusted my dress and looked at Seymour who was staring at me seriously.

"You can leave me here ..." I said then gave him an assuring smile.

"What? Rigella, it's dangerous-"

My forehead creased. "Dangerous? Why?"

He sighed and rubbed his palm on her face. He look frustrated. "You're pregnant, cupcake ... Maybe what will happen to you and your baby when I leave you here alone ..."

My lips parted but I immediately smiled as well. "You know me, Seymour. I'm strong, okay? I won't do anything or let anything affect me and my baby. So, please, leave me here. I'll just call you to fetch me. Please?" I said, pleading.

The truth is, I don't know what will happen inside the house and I don't want Seymour to see how vulnerable I am. I mean, I'm not going to be weak in front of Ivan but when I know I'm with someone, I become weak because I know I have a captain. So yes, I don't want him to go with me anymore.

He sighed then looked at me intently. I promise to you, Seymour. After this, I will let myself learn how to love you. So please, let me do what I want.

"Are you sure, cupcake? Coz I will really leave you here ..."

I bit my lower lip and smiled. He really couldn't stand me. "One hundred percent sure, Seymour. So, go. I know you're busy in your office. Don't worry, I'll call you right away when something happens to me. Resbakan them right away." I laughed so he would let me.

He smiled and messed up my hair. "Just call me when you want to pick me up and when they do something to you. I'll be right here in five minutes."

"Okay ..." I smiled.

He kissed me on the forehead and said goodbye again before he got in the car. When he got in, he immediately started the car so I pulled over and he pulled his car away.

I was just shaken. The speed would actually make that man's car run. But when I'm with him, the speed is okay. Jusko.

I swallowed hard before I decided to enter the gate. I counted to ten before opening the door of the house and blinking emphatically. I also tightened my grip on the envelope. This is it, Ella. It is no longer in arrears.

When I entered, I woke up immediately because I was almost deaf in the silence. I looked around and I was almost stunned because there were cracked vases around. Wait, what happened ?!

I immediately ran up the stairs but I walked carefully up. When I got to the second floor I immediately ran to Ice's room. I went inside and I was relaxed when I saw him on earphones and playing iPad while lying on the bed.

I sat on her bed. "Ice ..."

He turned to me and immediately got up and hugged me. My tears flowed immediately and I hugged him too.

"Mommy, I think Tita Lara and Daddy had an argument. They're shouting at each other and I was so scared. Let's leave this place, Mommy please ... Pease, Mommy ..." Ice's eyes were red and seems to be crying.

I took a deep breath and stroked her hair. Even my son is already affected. Why did my son and I end up in this kind of situation?

After I hugged him and calmed him down I looked for his suitcase and when I found it I opened his closet and packed his clothes. We need to get out of here.

When I finished packing her clothes, I looked at the envelope with the annulment papers. Ivan needs to sign this to end it all. I took it right away and invited Ice to leave.

We walked quickly down the stairs without making any noise. I winced when I saw the whole house. The equipment is broken but not all.

"Ice, where's your daddy?" I asked my son.

He looked around and pointed to something so I turned around. Ivan was on the terrace drinking alcohol and smoking. I turned to Ice and knelt down so we were equal.

"Stay here, baby. I'll just talk to your dad. Stay here, okay?"

Ice nodded and sat down on the stairs holding her small suitcase. I sighed before standing up and looking at the envelope. This stupidity needs to end.

I walked closer to Ivan and when I got close to him I swallowed one after another because he was already consuming several bottles and packs of cigarettes. Will he commit suicide? What happened?

"Ivan ..." I said using my cold voice. I don't want to prolong it any longer.

He turned to me immediately and I was almost depressed by his appearance. He look wasted. What happened and is he like this? I just disappeared for a while and then he was like this right away? Seriously, I'm curious.

I sighed, don't talk ah. "You, even if you look like a stone for being so numb, take care of yourself. Because even if you're like that, you don't get hurt, you can get hurt ..." say what? What are you saying, Ella ?!

"Rigella ..." he stood up and was about to approach me but I immediately walked away and looked at him bravely.

Without hesitation I handed him the envelope. I never thought I would be this brave in front of him. Maybe because ... I'm thinking of my son? I don't know.

"You need to sign these papers so we can go." I seriously promise.

He frowned and accepted the envelope and opened it. While I opened my body bag to get a ball pen.

"As you want, here are the annulment papers. Sign that to finish everything-" I stopped closing the zipper of my bag when I heard something torn.

My eyes widened as I looked at him as he tore up the papers.

Shit! Is he out of his mind?!

To be continued...