Chapter 3 Dylan

　　I clicked the door shut to my study, running my hands through my hair in exasperation. 　　Exasperation at Cherry, at myself, at this whole god-damned situation. For a moment, guilt kept me at the door. I thought of Cherry perched on a bar stool, eating alone in the kitchen. Her grey eyes washed-out and picking daintily at her meal. I almost went back. Almost. 　　It wasn’t that I didn’t care about her. She was… 　　What is she? 　　The truth was I didn’t know anymore. But the hopefulness in Cherry’s tone as she’d said dinner was ready had knotted my stomach. It wasn’t at the thought of her cooking. 　　Her food is always bloody delicious. 　　I knew part of me would regret not sitting down for a bite. But it was what lurked beneath that simple offer of food. An important part of the mating bond was a mate’s desire to nourish the other. The more frequently I gave in to her cooking and ate with her, the more chance there was for the bond that was destined to exist between us to grow. 　　No doubt, it was partly why my parents had Cherry move in with me as soon as she turned of age. I stifled a groan as I thought of my mom and dad before going to my desk and collapsing in my chair. I opened up my laptop and booted it up. My parents were such self-righteous asses. I loved them and respected them, not just as parents but as Alpha and Luna, too. But what they’d done to me in this matter was a bitter pill to swallow. 　　At seventeen, they’d told me Cherry, and I were fated mates. Of course, my dad had laughed at my disbelieving expression, telling me I’d feel differently when the girl became a woman. Just wait, he’d told me, with all the self-assurance of an Alpha, blessed by the Moon God, Nuu-Chah. As well as all the confidence of his own lived experience. After all, my mom and dad were fated mates themselves. But the difference was my mom had come from another pack, and she hadn’t met my dad until they were both in their early twenties. It was a completely different story to how things stood between Cherry and me. 　　Maybe it was the age difference. Maybe it was my disbelief. Maybe it was the congratulatory way with which my father told me about my mate’s existence as if he’d done me a great service in finding her. But most of all, the feeling that had stayed with me since I was seventeen was anger. 　　When I’d been seventeen and told the exciting news, I and the other teens in my pack were attending a local high school in Seattle to take our exams. It was my first real taste of freedom, away from Lord Hills and the watchful eye of my father, the Starsmoon Alpha. And the space and freedom thrilled me. 　　So far, my parents have only shared the news about my future mate with me. It hadn’t been publicized to the pack at large yet. So, as heir to the Starsmoon Alphahood and with my strength and good looks, it hadn’t been hard to capture the interest of one of the female shifters in my year. It started as an act of rebellion. Each time I stole away with the female to a hidden spot on the school grounds, I felt electrified. I was doing what I wanted. 　　I remembered how our make-out sessions underneath the bleachers had quickly escalated to driving out to more secluded spots. It had felt exhilarating. We’d got intoxicated on each other alone, our kisses becoming petting until we’d been in the backseat of my car fucking. And our secret meet-ups had continued for months. I’d ended up liking the girl—a lot. 　　Emily. Her name was Emily. 　　I told Emily to keep our relationship secret. At first, because I didn’t want something that was so enjoyable to end. Then, I realized that the idea of my parents finding out about her worried me. What would they do if they found out about her? I made Emily swear again and again she wouldn’t tell anyone about what we were doing. 　　Bu the beautiful, kissable girl hadn’t been able to hold her tongue. When my father found out, Emily was sent away. And so, I hadn’t clapped eyes on her since I was seventeen. With his Alpha’s command, my father forbade me from even looking for her. I’m bound by my oath to never look for her. 　　So, that’s that. 　　Disappointment swirled through me as I numbly clicked open an email about pack business: something to do with the pack’s boundaries along one of the ranches in Lord Hill. 　　As I half-heartedly read the email, my thoughts fell to how my own life felt so stuffed-full of boundaries. I tapped the desk with my fingertips restlessly, aware that I’d hardly been home half an hour and already felt as if the walls were closing in. The longer I spent here with Cherry, the further away that sense of possibility I’d felt with Emily slipped away. Was the excitement I experienced back then something that was simply gone from my life? Could I ever feel it with Cherry?