"GUYS, I have a new jowa." We all looked at what Joyce said. We're all here in the living room and currently watching netflix. It's Sunday so we're free to do this thing.
 "And who is that unlucky man?" Joyce was stunned by what Chiza said.
 "Ansama grabe!"
 "Eh who is that ?!" Ani Rhea.
 Joyce was able to stand up but she was scrolling on her phone and then she showed us the man dancing.
 "Shoetangina! Please gaga! That's Ivanna!" I looked at Danica in surprise.
 Who the hell is Ivanna ?!
 And who the hell is this guy? The dancing that Joyce showed? Well, I admit he's good at dancing but I don't know him.
 "Stupid Joyce, stop that shabu." Joy threw a pillow at Joyce.
 "I don't even have the support of my contributions."
 "Guys, who's

  I WOKE up the next day with no one in bed. I was immediately overwhelmed. I chineck my body immediately.
  Was it a dream ?!
  But I'm wearing his shirt!
  I walked around the room, and I still didn't see any other trace of Chaos. I saw the window on my side open and the sun was shining again.
  Not so .... He left me?
  Did he realize that he doesn't love me anymore?
  Or was it a goodbye sex for both of us?
  "You're awake." A cold voice I heard. I saw him just coming from the bathroom and the towel was still on his right shoulder. I looked away when he started to part his wet hair.
  It seems that you have slowed down his work.
  I was just shaken because of what I was thinking.
  Aish!
  "Ahm ..." What can I say ?!
  He walked to the couch where his bag was, I just realized that he was shirtless while he was wearing his pants. I couldn't help but blush when I remembered what happen

"Don't make any noise or he will wake up."
 "Joyce, you have two mouths and you're still making noise."
 "Why is Sha raining?"
 I could hear something like bees whispering, I opened one eye as I slowly saw my friends who seemed to be worried about it.
 I saw Jayrose pinching Joyce's arms.
 "Aray ko naman!" Joyce moaned. So I opened both my eyes.
 "Guys, Sha is awake." When Rhea saw me.
 "It's as quiet as the noise." Joy.
 I slowly leaned against the head board of the bed. They support me.
 "Take it slowly."
 "Is something wrong with you, Sha?" Then Nica sat down next to me. I smiled at them and shook my head.
 "Wait, eat first and then take your medicine." I saw there was soup on my bedside table and there was a glass of water with two medicines.
 "Thank you." It would have taken me a while so Joyce took it and she fed the saken.
 "Let me." He said, so I did nothing but nod.
 I looked at their faces one by one and I could see the concern on their faces.
 "Why are you raining?" I stopped chewing when Chiza asked that, then suddenly I remembered what happened. I first looked at the time on my alarm clock and saw that it was eight o'clock in the morning.
 Was it a dream?
 Impossible, I touched his face. I know it's not a dream!
 "W-how did I get here? W-what happened to me?" Please, if I fainted again, Chaos would have brought me here.
 'Cause I saw him!
 "Sha ..." Joyce let go of the bowl and held my hand, so did Nica.
 "What's really happening to you? Lately we've noticed your change. You used to be naughty but we didn't care because we met you there but it seems like it's getting worse. We often see you smiling sometimes but we feel like you're going through something. We always there is sadness in your eyes since Chaos has not visited here. " Even Nica.
 "What are friends for right? We'll listen, Sha." Scarlet said.
 "Yeah, even me. I can't contact you anymore." I was surprised when I heard Alyana's voice, Joy showed me the iPod and saw Alyana and I had a video call. She's still wearing her pj's.
 I can&quot;t help but smile, because we&quot;re complete now.
 God is really very good, because despite the fact that I no longer have parents. Still, my friends are here. Always here.
 "Awww, don't cry anymore. I'm not there to wipe your tears ..." When Alyana said hello, I was already crying. Then I felt Nica and Joyce hugging me.
 "You can tell us everything, Sha. We've been worried about you."
 "B-but h-how can I get here? S-who brought saken?" They all looked at each other.
 "S-is it Chaos?"
 I saw Rhea heaved a sigh.
 "No, Shaina. I saw you lying on the floor opposite the gate. It was raining cats and dogs, I was looking for you to eat then I went out and saw you. Do you know my fear for you? You're hungry ! " I chuckled when I saw someone help tears with her.
 "I was so scared, I thought you were dead! You were soaking wet from the rain and then you were so pale that I panicked and called them. It's good that you only have a fever but it's too high! We're really worried about you."
 I was weakened by what Rhea said, so it was a dream?
 Because if I really saw him, he wouldn't let me lie under the rainy sky.
 Besides, I wondered why he was going to let me, right?
 "I'm sorry .."
 "Tsaka here." I looked at Chiza when she handed me something.
 It's the album, the one I held for Kathleen. P-how did it go with him? Kay Chiza?
 "W-how?"
 "One of your friends is from here. Her name is Kathleen, I don't know how she found out about our house. But she said, give it back to you."
 I touched it trembling.
 "She's from Moonstone's fan group, Sha. Why are you with her?" Chiza asked.
 "And why do you have a Chaos album?"
 I took a deep breath first,
 "I'm sorry guys, but it was all my fault." When I start.
 Gosh! It's my first time to tell them how I feel.
 "Sha ..."
 "You all know how much Chaos loves me, but despite all that pain I only caused him pain."
 "The pain hurts because when he disappeared, I just realized that I love him so much." They covered their mouths, as if unable to believe what I said.
 Heart of stone, that's what I have.
 I was shattered and broke.
 "Then what happened? Is that why Chaos doesn't come to you anymore?"
 "The one week I was on vacation, I was with him because of Diana."
 "Diana Sandoval ?!" Joyce asked in shock. I nodded.
 "Wait, why because of him?"
 "She gave me the VIP card at that resort, and it's owned by the Walterson family of Chaos. That was all planned, Diana talked to me to accompany Chaos for one week, it looks like that was the last week. I can be with him. "
 They were shocked, I saw they were still confused by what I was saying.
 "Because Chaos is supposed to give up everything, Chaos doesn't accept a contract because the media is becoming an obstacle in his personal life and especially for me. He loves me so much, so he's willing to give up all the things just to have me. "
 "What the ...."
 "II was so scared, I'm afraid I'm going to ruin everything Chaos has achieved. I don't want to lose everything he worked for once he loves me. We all knew Chaos, and nothing can stop what he wants so I agreed to what he wants. Diana. "
 "But, he knew everything ..."
 "Chaos knows? Does that mean he and Diana plan?" I shook my head at Joyce.
 "No, he heard everything. He just said saken non on our last day in Alta Vista. He accepted because that's what I wanted."
 "You know, last night we went to a fight." I laughed bitterly, I couldn't stop crying because I remembered that night again.
 Until now, it's still fresh because of that night, that night I was a fool!
 "That night, daddy was there with his new family." Their eyes widened.
 "I thought Chaos was an accomplice when we met daddy. You all know how angry I am with my daddy. And I don't want to see him. I was angry with him because he led my decision."
 "Like who the hell is he to mess with my life ?!" Nica caresses my back.
 "I-I thought, he will chase me again. Isn't that how he is? I'll be angry but the next day he'll be there to tease me. That night, I felt the pain in his words. Do you know the most painful thing. that word I heard from him? "
 "The one who gave up, I don't know but that's what I want, isn't it? The one who finally doesn't have Chaos to dig for saken but why don't I want to? I don't want to lose him anymore. I love him very much, but when That night I dared to say that I love him. I was scared .... "
 "But in spite of everything, my heart can't be angry with him. Because I deserved all of that, I have nothing else to do with him but pain. So I know I'm not suitable for someone like him."
 "Sha ..."
 "But, after that night I also realized that it must be at this time that I will do what he did then."
 "I became his fan, I joined the Moonstone supporters. You met Kathleen already right? She is the head admin of the fan group I joined. So I'm leaving because, they have mall tours and I also joined their concert . "
 "What? You were there at their concert ?!" Joy asked in shock.
 "Yes. I did that because I really love Chaos, even though I know it's too late."
 "I don't know, even if he doesn't love me again as long as he forgives me."
 "It's okay, Sha. We know Chaos and we know he can't stand you. But thank you for trusting us to tell you everything. No matter what happens, we're all here for you?" I nodded to Nica, then she hugged me.
 "That's why! When you go mall tours or Moonstone concerts you have to include whole chikkas a'right ?!" I nodded happily to Joyce.
 "Group hug !!!"
 "HEY BESH, have you seen it?" Kathleen asked, we are currently having a vivideo call with other groupchat members. Kath joined me, I didn't want to answer in case she said something.
 "What's that admin?" Yna asked.
 "Chaos allegedly had a private account, then I looked at it for real." I could hear sadness in his voice.
 "Why a song?" Jino asked.
 Jino is a straight boy but you wouldn't expect him to be a fan boy.
 "Idunno, but anyways how are you Shaina?" I was embarrassed because during the video call, he actually asked, eh, many people have joined vc.
 "Ahm I'm fine."
 "Get well, Shaina."
 "Rest well ga gorl ah?"
 "Rest first, I hope you're okay next week huh? They have a gig in Ilocos."
 I don't know but suddenly my heart beat faster.
 Alta Vista ...
 I remembered that place again.
 Everything was still fresh.
 "Awww edi does that mean only a few admins will come? Isn't that a beach?" Question from a woman I don't know yet.
 "Yes gurl, maybe only five are being sent, said the President of Moonstonians. Besides, our group was chosen, isn't it funny? Because of the number of fan groups in the whole Philippines, we are one of the two groups to be chosen."
 "It's said that the place is too private, so the President only sends more than ten people. That's why we're going to vote. Are you?"
 Everyone agreed.
 After a long conversation with vc, I decided to put my phone away first. I don't want to check if Chaos really has a private account.
 I suddenly missed the smell of hospital, I missed Thirdy and Jillian. How are they? I don't think I visited the hospital for more than a few months after I submitted my resignation letter.
 Seems incredible right?
 Who is a fool to do that?
 Shempre ako.
 Is Thirdy still there?
 Suddenly my phone vibrated so I took it. And seeing a text from Jill, she actually often texted me to say hello to me and to ask how Thirdy was doing.
 From: Jill
 I'm sorry Nurse Sha, but Thurdy's gone.
 I read his text several more times. I got up from sitting on my bed.
 I could feel the speed of my heartbeat.
 No, it cant be ....
 It couldn't be ....
 So I quickly called Jill and she answered immediately.
 "H-hello?" I heard her sob.
 "Jill, tell me you're just kidding. Is that April fools ?! Pleasee that's not true is it?" And again, I'm crying again.
 Damn!
 "I-im s-sorry Shaina ... Thirdy couldn't take it anymore, just a minute ago."
 "W-how did that happen ?! When I left she was strong Jill!"
 "It's been a long time since you left, Shaina. Im sorry"
 B-but ... B-how ?!
 Oh my God!
 Is this God's punishment ?! Why so much? Why one after the other?
 Lord, please I can't take it anymore.
 Why do I feel like I'm carrying the weight of the world?
 Thirdy's child is still young, why? !!
 S-I hope I don't just leave ...
 I knelt on the floor because I was moaning.
 "Sha !!" I heard the door of my room open and Nica spat to run to me, she knelt down and hugged me.
 "Hey what happened?"
 "Nica ... Thirdy is gone ...."
 "Sssshhh, stop crying. I'm pretty sure he's okay wherever Thirdy is ...."
 "Danica ... Please the pain is already painful. The people who are leaving me are next."
 I was afraid that someone else would leave me.
 "No, that will never happen okay? We won't leave you. No one will leave you."
 "Brinnley ---- hey what happened?" I heard a familiar voice, I could not see him because of my excessive tears. I also saw it kneel in front of me.
 "Ahm, Bright is here, Sha." Even Nica.
 "I'll explain to you later, Bright." Nica said to Migo.
 I felt something hold my hand.
 "Hey ..." I thought it was Migo as I wiped the tears from my eyes.
 "Everything will be alright." T-that was Thirdy's line .... He used to say that to me when he was about to be injected and then take his medicine.
 Then out of a sudden, I was no longer with Danica but in the arms of a Bright Migo Gealondo.
 I felt better.
 I-I felt secured ...

"GUYS, I have a new jowa." We all looked at what Joyce said. We're all here in the living room and currently watching netflix. It's Sunday so we're free to do this thing.
 "And who is that unlucky man?" Joyce was stunned by what Chiza said.
 "Ansama grabe!"
 "Eh who is that ?!" Ani Rhea.
 Joyce was able to stand up but she was scrolling on her phone and then she showed us the man dancing.
 "Shoetangina! Please gaga! That's Ivanna!" I looked at Danica in surprise.
 Who the hell is Ivanna ?!
 And who the hell is this guy? The dancing that Joyce showed? Well, I admit he's good at dancing but I don't know him.
 "Stupid Joyce, stop that shabu." Joy threw a pillow at Joyce.
 "I don't even have the support of my contributions."
 "Guys, who's that? And who's Ivanna?" At the same time, they turned around, shocked by my question.
 <p

Chapter 20