Chapter 7 : Distrust

Theodora's POV Hot water cascaded down my back, working out all the knots I'd developed over the week. Specifically, because I've had a new thorn in my ass that went by the name Javier. It didn't matter how sexy I found him, he's been on me like black on an oil slick. I hadn't been completely honest with him and he knew it. So every passing day he's been on my ass about my plan. Where we were going and why. Trying to dig information out of me. "Why are we going to Zeus 9?" "What are we doing after we refuel?" "What steps are you taking to find Sol?" Like a fucking dog with a bone. It irritated me to the point that I didn't know how many times I could evade his questions before I just decided to kick him out of the airlock. Or shoot him. Shooting him was looking increasingly more tempting every day. Just about as tempting as fucking him. I bet fucking him would shut him up, too. If he wasn't a client, it wouldn't even be a question. I would have dragged him into my room, stripped him naked, and then kicked him out as soon as I was done with him. I regretted knowing how good he felt inside of me. How thick he was as I sunk myself on top of him. Or how the crown of his cock caressed my walls like nothing else. The way Javier let me take whatever I wanted from him like he didn't mind giving up control. A mutual balance between giving and taking. It felt effortless. What made it even worse was that whenever I'd think about Javier my mind would wander back to Mads. I couldn't even decide who I liked fucking more. Mads was a man that knew how to take control of me. He wrecked me with the strength of his body. Fucked me until I saw stars. Twisted me into unbelievable highs. Rip orgasm after orgasm from me until I walked funny. But even when Mads had me in whatever position we could bend ourselves into, he never took my power away. A big difference between control and power. I trusted Mads. Meanwhile, I trusted Javier about as far as I could throw him. I didn't know how big his mouth was or how much dirt he was digging up on me while he was here. But that still didn't dampen the fire inside of me. I still ached for them. Which of them I wanted more…I wasn't sure. The object of my fantasies flickered back and forth, confusing me. I didn't know what I wanted, I just knew I couldn't have it. Shudders of pleasure slid across my skin, pebbling my flesh even under the heat. Lust coiled around my insides, hunger aching inside of me. I slid my fingers down my belly to where tension was building. Fuck, I needed some relief. I lifted my head, feeling how the water washed down my body, clinging to my eyelashes. Tension built in my belly as I imagined Mads's breath tickling my skin, slicking his fingers along my core. Feeling how my back arched, I knew he would mumble something filthy into my ear as his big hands twisted a nipple or fisted around my throat. I squirmed, everything getting hotter and hotter. My eyes clenched shut as I touched my swollen nub, nearly crying out, tweaking my desire even higher. "Yes…" I moaned under my breath. The sound of my heavy breathing turned me on even more. Nothing turned me on more than hearing a man growl against my neck, holding themselves back because of how fucking good I felt fisting their cock. Boosted my confidence like nothing else. Javier wasn't much of a dirty talker, but those throaty noises he made when I bounced on his lap were so fucking sexy. I guided two fingers along my slit, soaking wet, and plunged them as deep as they would go inside of me. I slapped my other hand over my mouth, fighting lewd noises as I fingered myself hard, imagining it was a cock. But this would have to do. Get the edge off. I worked myself, using my thumb to stroke my swollen clit over and over again. It wasn't enough. I needed deeper. I needed hands on my waist, bending me over, and fucking me until I forgot my own name. I curled my fingers, aggressively rubbing the magic spot inside of me until I finally came apart, gasping and clenching. Right as I started to come down from my relatively decent orgasm, a knock sounded on the door. Great timing. "Yeah?" I called out, still out of breath, trying hard not to sound like I just finger-fucked myself thinking about two different men. "Stop masturbating and hurry the fuck up!" Daxton shouted. And any remnant of horniness had vanished at the sound of my brother's voice like a wet blanket. "Shut the fuck up! Give me a second!" I shot back, ignoring the embarrassment mottling my cheeks. I heard Daxton laugh as I finished rinsing off, wrapping a plush robe around me and grabbing my little shower caddy. I hit the button next to the door, causing it the open, a billow of steam following me out of the room. My brother was waiting outside in nothing but his underwear and some shower shoes, a towel was thrown over his shoulder. "Happy?" I asked. Daxton shoved his way past me, standing in the doorway before replying, "Why can't you just jerk off in your room like a normal person?" "Do you still think girls jerk off?" I paused, mocking an intake of my breath. "Well, you see, girls and boys have different parts and girls have what's called a pu-" I was cut off when he slammed the door in my face. "You're such a dick, Theo." "Have to have one to be one!" I shouted through the door with a rather witch-like cackle as I turned around to make my way back to my cabin. Still snickering, I poured myself a much-needed rocks glass of starshine. The clear liquid swirled, releasing little bouts of light like fireflies. The half-ass shower orgasm was decent, but not enough to send me off to dreamland. And with Zeus 9 only half a day away, I needed all the rest I could get. The Pantomath wasn't a good guy. In fact, he was downright slimy. But he was smart. And if I was even a little bit off my game, it would show and he'd take advantage of it. I had learned better. Two tick marks in my flesh stayed there as a reminder not to let my guard down around the Pantomath again. I'd end up worse than just a little beat up. I could even lose a crew member. I brought the sparkling liquid up to my lips, taking a few greedy gulps, sighing with contentment as the spirit started to do its work and untighten all those other muscles. There was a quiet rap at my door. I frowned around the rim of my glass, setting it down and getting up. I tapped the comm on the side of my door. "Yeah?" "We need to talk, Captain Walker," a smooth as satin voice said from the other side of my door. I took a deep breath and opened my door. They slid open with a soft grinding noise, revealing Javier standing there, arms crossed, wearing that damn gray shirt that had no right fitting him as well as it did. His mouth downturned into a frown. Those plush pink lips of his pulled into a tight line. He braced himself over my doorframe, drawing my eyes to his incredibly toned biceps. I pulled my gaze away, gulping heavily before saying, "Talk." "You've been lying to me all week," he stated, still hovering over me. "I don't know what you're talking about. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to turn in for the night," I answered, hovering my fingers over the button to close the door. Javier's golden eyes narrowed. "No. You're not going to ignore me this time." I hit the button. "Goodnight, Javier." The last thing I wanted to do was get into it right now, not when he was staring down at me like he wasn't sure what he wanted to do with me. His nostrils flared, pure annoyance muddling his handsome features. Before the door closed, he sidestepped it, getting right between me and the closing door. I gasped, his proximity flushing excitement down my belly. My nipples pebbled beneath the plush fabric of my robe. Fuck. I was naked under this! "Get out of my room," I demanded. "No!" he snapped. "I'm tired of you ignoring me. I want my answers and I'm not going to leave until I get them." I glared at him, not backing away even if every nerve in my body wanted to. "Then ask your questions," I challenged, punctuating every word with a pause. "Why are you keeping information from me?" his voice dropped a few octaves, dipping his head down and getting into my space. "Need to know basis and you…don't need to know." That did nothing to quell his annoyance, but even so, I watched his eyes dart down to my mouth. "That is not an answer." My breath hitched as his gaze found and pierced right through mine. I broke his stare, turning away from him to get back to my drink. "I don't trust you, Javier." It was a simple answer, but the honest truth. He frowned. "Why don't you trust me?" Where do I even start? "You're a stranger on my ship, planted here by your brother because we either took you with us or went back to jail," I recalled. "Seems like a pretty good reason not to trust you." Javier was quiet for a moment before saying, "My brother is a distraught father. He would say or do anything for Sol. Surely your father would do the same." I tipped my glass back, finishing the contents before setting it down on my desk. "I'm not in the mood to discuss my daddy issues right now. Frankly, it's easier to keep you in the dark than explain myself." I took a deep breath. "Maybe I wasn't keen on having you report back to your brother about my contacts." "Contacts?" I poured myself another drink to ease my nerves. "Emperor Cyrus didn't give me much to go on, so I had to dig into my own contacts. Criminals that you're better off not knowing about from your golden tower." "You act like I'm an invalid." I shrugged. "Oh, you're quite capable. Learned that firsthand." I used the pause to take another drink. "But you've also lived on this beautiful mountain on Ilios, the safest planet in the whole fucking galaxy, your entire life. I've seen more in my twenty-nine years than you've seen in however long." My callousness should have sent him away. But instead, he tilted his head to the side in a shadow of understanding. "I understand your hesitance and even your distrust, Captain Walker, but if we cannot work together…if you cannot trust me, then we are never going to find Sol." What is with the men in my life telling me that they understand me rather than running for the hills? I'd rather them cut and run. Save me the trouble of caring. But I wasn't unreasonable. "Fine." Another sip of liquor. "But my contacts require discretion. You cannot tell your brother who or where these people are. Do you understand?" Javier nodded. I pulled a second rock's glass from the top drawer of my desk and poured a second drink.